Author Topic: Are you a dick?  (Read 1166 times)

Are you a dick?
« on: August 11, 2017, 02:29:10 PM »
One of the things I absolutely completely and utterly hate about humanity is the desire so many people have to fuck with other folks, without provocation. Tiresome ego-based social jostling, a distraction from their own apparent misery, or just badger-baiting for entertainment.

This is a big thing online, and commonly associated with online gaming. And online gaming is like my favourite thing, really, because it's a different experience each time, and there are an infinite number of stories to be had.   

So how do you conduct yourself in the world of online gaming? Do you have rules and a code of conduct?

I very rarely mute anyone, even if they're being racist, as I kind of enjoy observing the anarchy, and want to see what happens next.

I'm a team player, where that is appropriate, and will always prioritise the objective. I won't just corner camp and pad my stats or whatever, and am too much of a rusher anyway.

EA UFC 2 has a community that's considered as being toxic, full of cheap cunts who will feint touching gloves then smack you, use cheese moves, trash talk wildly etc. I play how I enjoy playing - in a fair way - and if I've had a great, exciting fight with someone, I make a point of digging them out of "recent players" and sending them a message saying "great fight bro" or some such, and usually get a "gg" or "wp" in return.


The exception to all this kind of nauseating butter-wouldn't-melt shit above is when I get onto GTA Online. I am an absolute fucking bastard on GTA Online. If I see you doing work, okay, I'm gonna leave you to it, unless provoked. But if I see you coming for me on radar - and I am a constant fucking dot-watcher - then I will fuck your shit up relentlessly. Same if I hijack a car, take it to my warehouse and then go to sell one, only to see someone camping outside in anticipation. I'll make you wait - maybe 10, 15 minutes - then once I see you getting bored, I'lll run out and RPG your face right off.

I was going for a special crate the other week in my Buzzard, on a server with 3 other people. One of them HAS to be a dick and blows me up. I spent the next hour killing this motherfucker, over and over again. All he had to do was call for a truce, and when I eventually got a party invite, I thought that's what was happening. Nope, he told me he'd reported me for grinding and I would get banned. I laughed, left the party, and scattered proximity mines all over the exits to his apartment.

Anyway yeah, how about you? How do you conduct yourself, and how do you react to dicks? And maybe just some good stories about dealing with other gamers.

weekender

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2017, 09:05:00 PM »
In Mario Kart 8 Battle Mode, some bastard got three green shells on the first go, whilst I only got a banana.

They hit me once with a lucky green shell corner-hit, and then they just stopped behind me.

Then they hit me again with another green shell.

Finally, they killed me with their last green shell.

Whole thing took around 20 seconds, but I had to applaud them.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2017, 09:06:32 PM »
I actually sometimes intentionally lose at Online Hearts because I canne help envisioning my victory buggering up some Lithuanian ten year old orphan boy's day.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2017, 10:01:17 PM »
I don't online game that often.  In terms of shooters, I'd not go near the voice chat as it's cancer, and would just get on with shooting things.  In MMORPGs (no time for that any more) I generally found people to be nice and liked to roleplay a nice person - heck I can't even bring myself to be a dick to NPCs in a single player game, so my Fallout 3 guy had like a Jesus icon.

But when someone is a dick to me, won't lie, I tend to give as good as I get.  And then block 'em.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2017, 10:30:54 PM »
I do remember getting some degree of enjoyment beating abusive European kids at games like StarCraft, Team Fortress Classic and Counterstrike back in the day but I always kept the aloof silent persona when doing so. Most of my time playing those was part of an organised group with attached community though and anyone being a dick would quickly have found themselves very unpopular.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2017, 10:57:14 PM »
The only online game I play is Hearthstone on my phone on the way to and from work. I'm usually fine with people, put when you get the cocky fuckers that start taunting when they are at a point where they are clearly going to win then I start being a dick and taking as long as possible with each turn (which is about the only way you can be a dick in Hearthstone). Then I realise I'm a 40 year old bloke and I'm probably playing against a 12 year old kid and I just switch my phone off and put my head in my hands.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2017, 11:03:16 PM »
Ha, well if I'm in a UFC fight online and I'm fighting the aforementioned cheap, dirty fuckers, I will quite happily refuse to skip the replays and stuff at the end of each round so they have to sit through them :-) Gives me time for a vape and a quick look at my phone.

Cloud, yeah I find myself usually having to take the good/fair path in RPG games, too. Usually it's pragmatic, I guess, as that tends to get you the best ending and experiences, but it also annoys me.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2017, 11:05:34 PM »
The only online game I play is Hearthstone on my phone on the way to and from work. I'm usually fine with people, put when you get the cocky fuckers that start taunting when they are at a point where they are clearly going to win then I start being a dick and taking as long as possible with each turn (which is about the only way you can be a dick in Hearthstone). Then I realise I'm a 40 year old bloke and I'm probably playing against a 12 year old kid and I just switch my phone off and put my head in my hands.

Give Elder Scrolls: Legends a punt, man.  Aside from the FTP mechanics being a little fairer (I think at least), there's way less of that dickery.  Those head in the hands moments are always what make me give up online games after getting totally hooked for a week or something.  You realise you're genuinely irately berately some poor person for not guarding that turret, when they're just trying to have a bit of fun escapism.  I haven't played MMO's in years, but I sometimes think if people were given XP for killing animals in real life, the entire animal kingdom would be extinct within a month.  When an online game truly gets its hooks into you, it becomes more serious than life itself.  Until you snap out of it and go fix yourself something to eat.

Glebe

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2017, 01:59:03 AM »
I've kinda knocked gaming on the head again, but I was playing DC Universe Online a little while back and some prick started following me around and challenging me to a fight and wouldn't fuck off. The prick.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2017, 02:01:51 AM »
I love playing nice. That it makes for a happy ending is a bonus~! ❤️

hewantstolurkatad

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2017, 04:10:43 AM »
My likely reaction to this kind of stuff online is what puts me off even trying to play games online tbh. What's a pretty amusingly cunty thing to do when you're all in the same room would almost certainly never transfer to an online environment for me.

Then the outright arsey stuff like abruptly quitting a game when you can't win would drive me insane.

Captain Poodle Basher

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2017, 09:17:48 AM »
I don't really bother with online gaming as I've no competitive streak in me at all so can't be bothered trying to outdo others. The only online game I've played is Elder Scrolls Online and I found it best to keep to myself for the most part. I'll help out anyone I see in difficulty though - if there's a player who's a lower level than myself in a tough fight, I'll watch over them to see if they're managing to stay alive and, if they're not, I'll wade in and give the AI a few smacks to lower their life bar before letting the other player finish them off.

Thankfully, most players are fine but there's a subset who are psychotic dicks. I just don't get the mindset at all - not so much being a complete psycho but the sheer effort they put into making the game an unusable environment for themselves. Such as attacking the town guards - the game engine is set up so you can't win against them, take down one and two more appear until you're overwhelmed. Now that town is 100% hostile towards them so if they can't flee they'll be killed on sight. Doesn't bother me, I can wander past them getting their arses kicked without a care in the world but what's in it for them to keep inflicting pain on themselves? Same as I've seen them, as a lower level player, challenging much higher level players to a duel and getting creamed within seconds. I've found, in most of these situations, if someone is dressed in the 'Court Jester' skin, then they're almost certainly going to be a dick and are best avoided.

Blue Jam

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #12 on: August 15, 2017, 10:36:27 AM »
PTFO...

In Titanfall 2's Attrition mode I'm one of those people who shoots grunts and provides backup during Titan battles to help out the side, also because I'm a bit rubbish at shooting things which move faster than grunts and Titans.

I'm no goal hanger in Rocket League either, but I seem to be better in defence anyway. I do love to see EPIC SAVE flash up.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #13 on: August 15, 2017, 02:15:34 PM »
I was going for a special crate the other week in my Buzzard, on a server with 3 other people. One of them HAS to be a dick and blows me up. I spent the next hour killing this motherfucker, over and over again. All he had to do was call for a truce, and when I eventually got a party invite, I thought that's what was happening. Nope, he told me he'd reported me for grinding and I would get banned. I laughed, left the party, and scattered proximity mines all over the exits to his apartment.

And that's why I don't play online!

kngen

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #14 on: August 15, 2017, 02:42:59 PM »
If I'm playing Fifa online, and the other guy starts being an arsehole after squeaking a goal past me - trying to score a goal with their keeper etc - I just quit. Fuck off with that shit, you got lucky with a deflection. You're not pwning me that much.

Utter Shit

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #15 on: August 15, 2017, 04:16:41 PM »
I rarely get time to play anything other than the odd game of FIFA, but I tend to match my play to the other player. If they want to have a proper game then brilliant, but if they display any sort of wind-up tactics early on, then I will focus entirely on taking the lead and then ruining the rest of the game for them. Tactics include, but are not limited to: keeping the ball for as long as possible with no intention of scoring, just to waste their time; celebrating with the old SHHHHHH finger to lips when I score (or alternatively run to the sideline camera and have the goalscorer blow a kiss at them); taking the ball into the corner late on to waste time; smashing the ball 80 yards or more back to my goalkeeper when I'm on the attack. Basically anything that I know pisses me off when people do it to me. Utterly vindictive, but as I say it's only if they annoy me first.

TBH with regard to GTA Online I wasn't even aware there was a code of conduct, surely the entire point of the game is to kill everyone else on the screen as often as possible? It genuinely wouldn't occur to me that someone who was 'minding their own business' should be left alone. I don't play it that often though so maybe that is a new thing since the co-op stuff has been around?

QDRPHNC

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #16 on: August 15, 2017, 04:26:25 PM »
Generally no, but I once acted like a bastard on Red Dead Redemption.

Snuck up behind some poor chap who was taking a fort by himself and shot him in the back. He respawned, chased me on horseback for about 10 minutes. After I rounded a corner, I got off my horse, hid behind a rock, and shot him again as he came around. Then I logged off and had a sandwich.

You want to see some real cocks, go to the Dark Zone in the Division. Real cocks in there.

Hangthebuggers

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Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #17 on: August 15, 2017, 04:42:28 PM »
Back in the Ultima online days I was a right bastard.

I basically had a set up whereby I could 'trap' people on my own personal Island. The process basically involved setting up runes and teleport scrolls and labeling them as a 'shop' - Then the curious would-be shopper would teleport to my Island, get bitten and poisoned by the snakes and then have a choice.

A) Buy the ridiculously overpriced anti-venom from my vendors
B) Die and get looted.

I'd also do the same kind of thing with high level dungeons. Follow some high level adventurers into a hellish dungeon, turn invisible using my 100 points hide skill. Mark a rune and then teleport out. Then relabel that rune 'Cheap shop' and then drop the runes around town, waiting for people to activate it. I'd then follow them in, turn invisible, wait for them to die and then I'd nick all their stuff.

Great days.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2017, 12:26:23 AM »
Some times the dickish banter can heighten the game. I play a Minecraft mini game called egg wars and often engage in a bout of pske out with opponents while gathering resources. Claiming I'm currently mining there egg, claiming I don't know how to play and saying stuff like Mummy I'm Scared. Then bang, in before they expect it after a long bout of silence.

Re: Are you a dick?
« Reply #19 on: August 17, 2017, 09:56:19 AM »
The last game I played online heavily was Battlefield 4, I don't know if suicide quad bike attacks on tanks count. Campers can be annoying, but I don't think its a bad thing, a quick RPG blast into the corner they are sitting in especially in small arena games usually gets rid of them.