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When did you become completely sick to fucking death of Dragons' Den?

Started by yesitsme, September 04, 2017, 01:00:13 PM

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yesitsme

Not watched this in a while, I think we ran out of entrepreneurs about the same time that X-Factor and BGT ran out of anyone with the slightest iota of talent.

Yeah, yeah, Raggae fuckin' sauce.  Fucking 'orrible gut rotten gunk in a jar, magic.  What else?

Anyway, last night I sat down and it came on.  After about two minutes my head was spinning from all the cutting the camera was doing.  The next time it switched to a stunned Peter Jones, a shocked Deborah Meaden or that new one who talks with her lips covering her teeth I started counting to see how far I could get before it cut to a sceptical Touker Souleyman or a relaxed Taj Lavani. 

I made it to four once.  Most of the time I was lucky to get to two.

Not that I think I wasted my time because I found another reason not to watch this bollocks.

For that reason. Ahm oot.

touchingcloth

It's a compelling format somehow, even though I hate just about every single thing about it. The rich "dragons", the clueless entrepreneurs, the entrepreneurs who aren't clueless but who are clearly using it as an opportunity to promote their business because if money were their issue they'd be using Kickstarter and not giving away any percentage of their company, the fact that everyone is asked "what are your gross margins" and answers with "errrrrr" to the feigned annoyance of Peter Jones when the whole thing could be avoided by allowing them to bring a flipchart of figures in with them or having every person entering the show fill in a boilerplate form of facts and figures so they can have some less utterly inane conversations.

It's Sherlock telly - I love that I fucking hate watching it.

Shit Good Nose

I thought the general consensus on Reggae Reggae sauce was that it was pretty fucking nice?

I tried it once and found to be way too hot for me, but I don't think I know a single spice loving person that doesn't love it.


Also, any excuse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmlx-e_u0i8

Endicott

The thread title is a bit like asking me when did I last punch my wife.

Icehaven

It's one of those shows, a bit like Four in a Bed, Grand Designs, Dinner Date etc., where a surprising number of participants appear to have never actually watched an episode of the programme before. As someone above has mentioned, they're surprised and unprepared when they're asked for hard figures, the examples they've brought with them fall apart or don't work, their grandiose claims about profits or pre-orders are exposed as total fiction under the lightest scrutiny etc. Just as the folly builders on Grand Designs never seem to account for the fact that their project is going to take twice as much time and money as they've planned, which watching a few episodes of GD could have taught them, and Four in a Bed contestants seem gobsmacked when others say they've found hairs in their beds or their eggs were overcooked, despite that happening in every single episode.

madhair60

My ex told me to "fuck off" after I called it Dragon Is Den too many times.

The Roofdog

Quote from: icehaven on September 04, 2017, 03:36:56 PM
Just as the folly builders on Grand Designs never seem to account for the fact that their project is going to take twice as much time and money as they've planned, which watching a few episodes of GD could have taught them

That's nothing to do with Grand Designs though, that's just all builders ever (especially the time thing, they are laughably shit at estimating end dates).

touchingcloth

Quote from: icehaven on September 04, 2017, 03:36:56 PM
As someone above has mentioned, they're surprised and unprepared when they're asked for hard figures, the examples they've brought with them fall apart or don't work, their grandiose claims about profits or pre-orders are exposed as total fiction under the lightest scrutiny etc.

I think that's just the production team treating the audience and...contestants?...with contempt. It's like The Apprentice where any efforts to make the show look like a semi-realistic depiction of the world of business comes after they've made good and sure that at least one person is going to look a dick. Just give all of the rich people a printed A4 sheet listing total assets, sales and outgoings for the past three years so they could ask them less dry questions that make them flounder on screen, but that'd be bad telly.

303


Lee Van Cleef

For me it was around the time they gave serious consideration to a snack product called "Crips" without mentioning the obvious in any way.

Sebastian Cobb

I can't stand it because it celebrates these wankers that swoop in after some poor cunt has done all the heavy lifting and r&d. The kind of pricks that use the term 'innovation' to mean 'having an idea that'll make me a lot of money without me having to do anything or pay for your education or research'. Fuck 'em.

Gurke and Hare

I think it's fair enough that they have to remember the figures for themselves - from the point of view of the people who may be giving them tens, or even hundreds of thousands of pounds it seems fair enough to want to assess how much grasp of the essentials of the business they have at their fingertips.

Anyway, it jumped the shark when they replaced Theo Paphitis with shit pound-shop Theo Paphitis.


hewantstolurkatad

I watched the first couple of seasons, kinda awful but very addictive.

Find it baffling it's still on though, wasn't every episode astoundingly close to being the exact same as every other one?

yesitsme

Quote from: hewantstolurkatad on September 05, 2017, 12:02:05 PM
I watched the first couple of seasons, kinda awful but very addictive.

Find it baffling it's still on though, wasn't every episode astoundingly close to being the exact same as every other one?

Yes, first contestant gets fitted up like a kipper.
Second, close but finds their dreams unravel while the Dragons make puns so weak they'd make that Stuart Francis blush (Ooh I could crush a dream - not him though).
Then we get a wee run of four our five chancers/dreamers and wallies before.
Last one on seals the deal before getting in to the lift only to regret what they've done before the pretend floor indicator sign hits 'G'.



Replies From View

Quote from: madhair60 on September 04, 2017, 03:43:06 PM
My ex told me to "fuck off" after I called it Dragon Is Den too many times.

Did you think the apostrophe was before the s?

Here Comes Mongo

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on September 04, 2017, 01:38:06 PM
I thought the general consensus on Reggae Reggae sauce was that it was pretty fucking nice?

I tried it once and found to be way too hot for me, but I don't think I know a single spice loving person that doesn't love it.


Also, any excuse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmlx-e_u0i8

I've tried it and liked it but reckon you could create something very similar by mixing chilli sauce and brown sauce.

Depressed Beyond Tables

Interesting titbit; Hamfatter have cost Peter Jones almost half his empire and net worth. He's gone on record as saying  the investment is his only regret in life and has drastically affected his health. Three members of the band are already dead and another was the victim of an apparent assassination attempt last month. Jones has steadfastly refused to comment.

kittens

bloody hell, i assumed you were joking til i checked wikipedia! how bizarre

Chriddof

Just checked that Wikipedia entry and there's nothing about assassination attempts or anything. Did a quick google too and still nothing.

I did find this, though:

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/hamfatter

Quotenoun
informal
An inexpert or amateurish performer, especially a mediocre jazz musician.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Around 2008ish

Read this year Deborah Meaden did a pretend Offended because someone called her Debbie.

It's at this point you realise you're dealing with utter psychopaths who actually see the general public as people who should be grovelling at their feet. I hope she trips and falls to her death tonight.

Depressed Beyond Tables

Meaden is an egomaniac. She used to be happy playing second fiddle to Theo but now, in the centre seat, she'll take offense when someone has the nerve to choose another dragon over her. It's stunning lack of class to display for someone who supposedly prides herself on being the consumate professional.

kittens

Quote from: Depressed Beyond Tables on September 06, 2017, 10:45:08 PM
Meaden is an egomaniac. She used to be happy playing second fiddle to Theo but now, in the centre seat, she'll take offense when someone has the nerve to choose another dragon over her. It's stunning lack of class to display for someone who supposedly prides herself on being the consumate professional.

bloody hell, i assumed you were joking til i checked wikipedia! how bizarre

Icehaven

Quote from: Depressed Beyond Tables on September 06, 2017, 09:17:33 PM
Interesting titbit; Hamfatter have cost Peter Jones almost half his empire and net worth. He's gone on record as saying  the investment is his only regret in life and has drastically affected his health. Three members of the band are already dead and another was the victim of an apparent assassination attempt last month. Jones has steadfastly refused to comment.

Quote from: kittens on September 06, 2017, 09:40:48 PM
bloody hell, i assumed you were joking til i checked wikipedia! how bizarre

You do realise the sudden spike in Wikipedia searches for Hamfatter that this might provoke could give them cause to think there's a resurgence in interest in them and launch a comeback. Do you want that on your conscience? DO YOU?

Depressed Beyond Tables

Quote from: icehaven on September 07, 2017, 12:33:15 PM
You do realise the sudden spike in Wikipedia searches for Hamfatter that this might provoke could give them cause to think there's a resurgence in interest in them and launch a comeback. Do you want that on your conscience? DO YOU?

That would be ideal actually. Peter Jones would pawn all his shares in tennis rackets to fund a vastly over-produced concept double album and end up like the two lads at the end of Trading Places, sleeping on 1000's of Hamfatter CD cases.

Rolf Lundgren

I read that quite often some of the fledgling businesses have already gone tits up in the 6 months or so between applying for the show and it being recorded but the producers persuade them to go on otherwise they haven't got a show. This results in them standing there getting bollocked while they already know they haven't got a chance of securing any funding.

Sick of the line-up being tinkered with too with only the most egotistical lasting the longest.

Depressed Beyond Tables


Replies From View

One of my colleagues filmed something for Dragons' Den, but it never ended up on the programme.  He said the whole thing felt very staged, as I'm sure you'd be aware if you know how television is filmed, but stuff like the lift not being a real lift surprised him.  They had to stand in a room and pretend it was a lift that was going up, which is an amusing thought for me because he's not an acting person by any stretch.  In fact I can imagine 'crap lift acting' being the reason his pitch never appeared on the show.  "Ooh this lift is going up, hmm," haha.

Icehaven

Quote from: Replies From View on September 09, 2017, 01:26:55 PM
One of my colleagues filmed something for Dragons' Den, but it never ended up on the programme.  He said the whole thing felt very staged, as I'm sure you'd be aware if you know how television is filmed, but stuff like the lift not being a real lift surprised him.  They had to stand in a room and pretend it was a lift that was going up, which is an amusing thought for me because he's not an acting person by any stretch.  In fact I can imagine 'crap lift acting' being the reason his pitch never appeared on the show.  "Ooh this lift is going up, hmm," haha.

I've wondered that about this and other shows involving the general public, like Come Dine, Dinner Date, Streetmate etc.; are there many filmed but unbroadcast ones, where it just didn't work or was boring or whatever? Sounds like there are then (although maybe not Come Dine, it'd be a bit much to film a whole weeks worth of dinners for nowt point)

Kelvin

Quote from: Replies From View on September 09, 2017, 01:26:55 PM
One of my colleagues filmed something for Dragons' Den, but it never ended up on the programme.  He said the whole thing felt very staged, as I'm sure you'd be aware if you know how television is filmed, but stuff like the lift not being a real lift surprised him.  They had to stand in a room and pretend it was a lift that was going up, which is an amusing thought for me because he's not an acting person by any stretch.  In fact I can imagine 'crap lift acting' being the reason his pitch never appeared on the show.  "Ooh this lift is going up, hmm," haha.

I actually worked on Dragon's Den a few years ago, during a BBC work experience thing, and the lift actually came up in the production office. It was during the BBC scandal around misleading editing, and the production team were discussing the repercussions for the show. At one point, they started worrying about Evan Davis not being filmed in the area where the stairs lead, and one of the higher ups sneered at how anyone could possibly believe the stairs led to him, despite that literally being the illusion they are trying to sell to audiences. 

They also had a long, long debate about whether a car coming up in the lift would break the show's immersion.

The best invention I saw never made it into the show, though. It was literally one of the maddest things I've ever seen, and although I probably shouldn't say what it was on here, I will say that it was literally akin to the old Big Bertha kids TV show, and that it's use was so preposterously specific and unnecessary, and the machine was so large, elaborate and complicated that you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it.