Who is music's dirtiest bastard?

[yesitsme]

For a long time I've thought it was Roy Orbison.  He may very well have driven all those miles through the night but that does NOT give him the right to climb through your bedroom window, like some fucking wierdo and try to slip you one while you sleep.

Is that all riiiigggghhhhhhhttttt?
No Roy, it isn't.  At best you've woke me up at worst it's rape.

At the weekend though I saw Madonna's Material Girl video for the first time in years.

Who's that dirty bastard?  Scrawny long haired fucker, hanging around, eavedropping on her conversations like some kind of bloody stalker.

Obviously you've got yer Glitters of this world, yer Savlons of this world and yer Jonathan Kings of this world but can any other Metro readers think of any other dirty bastards in pop? Could you complete a Pointless Celebrity Pop Nonces line up? 

Edit - Right out of the blocks I've thought of Mick Hucknall out of Simply Red.  Sleaxy twat.  Imagine him right now stood in front of you in just his socks.  Red fuse wire everywhere.

[Norton Canes]

Sorry, just to clarify there, are you calling Mick Hucknall a nonce?

[SpiderChrist]

There can be only one.

[yesitsme]

Sorry, just to clarify there, are you calling Mick Hucknall a nonce?

Certainly not but I imagine he's a sleazeball.  Always rubbing himself up against you and smiling through his fishy lips.

Not a nonce though.

[Twed]

Gary Puckett

[Kane Jones]

Yer Lostprophets fella was a bit of a rum sort.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Roger McGuinn of The Byrds brazenly admits that he'd like to capture and fuck a horse in Chestnut Mare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kXAvV71aPM

I don't care how lonely you are, Rog, that's bang out of order.

Still, nice song.

[non capisco]

Listen to Reg Presley from The Troggs in this sleazy farrago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tNH4n3HCBo

"I like the summertime when the girls wear their dresses so low
You can see the sun on their t-t-t-t-t-t...tanned skin"
He does the fake stuttering thing so you think he's going to say 'tits' but he doesn't. So far, so Benny Hill.

"I like the summertime when the girls wear their dresses so high
You can see the sun on their f-f-f-f-f-f...faces"
He does the fake stuttering thing so you think he's going to say 'fannies' but he doesn't. In the grand good old British tradition of the Carry On films.

"I like the slow ride home when the girl sat beside me and she's so tired
That she can't stop me from f-f-f-f-f feelin'"
Yeah, that's just sexual assault now, mate.

I know it's partly the accent but this song makes me picture Fred West hiding in a bush and wanking. It's like if a 'stranger' in a 1970s PIF had a theme tune as he's introduced oozing down the street in his Hillman Imp.

I'm sure Reg Presley wasn't a wrong 'un but he did if not write then willingly agree to sing that. It might be written from the perspective of a sex offender, I suppose. For double anti-PC points I first heard this song in an internet radio broadcast by an American DJ called 'Dave The Spaz'.

[kidsick5000]

Listen to Reg Presley from The Troggs in this sleazy farrago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tNH4n3HCBo

Not as bad as I thought, but that's probably because I was initially picturing old Reg, not young Reg.

I guess it's a problem for singers. You write a song in your teens and its all above the joys of infatuation and young love. As time goes on, the more you sound like a wrong'un

[newbridge]

Not as bad as I thought, but that's probably because I was initially picturing old Reg, not young Reg.

I guess it's a problem for singers. You write a song in your teens and its all above the joys of infatuation and young love. As time goes on, the more you sound like a wrong'un

"Summertime" was released when Reg Presley was a sturdy 34 years old.

[SteveDave]

Edit - Right out of the blocks I've thought of Mick Hucknall out of Simply Red.  Sleaxy twat.  Imagine him right now stood in front of you in just his socks.  Red fuse wire everywhere.

One Simply Red song starts

Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world

[Crabwalk]

Look at the video for Simply Red's 'A New Flame', if you can stomach it.

In it a series of stunning models/actresses line up for the plum role of 'getting fucked by Simply Hucknall' backstage. He selects the lucky victor and impresses her with literally the stupidest, most clodhopping ballroom dancing attempt you can imagine.

They disappear through the velvet curtain, Mick primed to enjoy his spoils. I'd love to hear the backstage gossip from this shoot. He definitely tried his luck with all of them.

[yesitsme]

The one that sends shivers down my spine is the one where it goes..

'I really love you.'
'Well show me....hurgh!'
'Offer's off y'dirty Manc twat.'

Mate of mine spotted him in a pub in Manchester once.  She waited until his companion had nipped to the lavvy before approaching and asking for an autograph.  He duly signed it 'Simply Red'.

Worra cunt.

[biggytitbo]

I can only think of Mick Hucknall now with his hair covered in sick, which makes him seem even sleazier.

[yesitsme]

I can only think of Mick Hucknall now with his hair covered in sick, which makes him seem even sleazier.

And wearing nothing but socks.  This bloke's an animal!

[DukeDeMondo]

[doppelkorn]

Who was it on here who said that Christina Aguilera looks like she's be sticky to the touch? Or was it on Family Guy or something?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Listen to Reg Presley from The Troggs in this sleazy farrago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tNH4n3HCBo

"I like the summertime when the girls wear their dresses so low
You can see the sun on their t-t-t-t-t-t...tanned skin"
He does the fake stuttering thing so you think he's going to say 'tits' but he doesn't. So far, so Benny Hill.

"I like the summertime when the girls wear their dresses so high
You can see the sun on their f-f-f-f-f-f...faces"
He does the fake stuttering thing so you think he's going to say 'fannies' but he doesn't. In the grand good old British tradition of the Carry On films.

"I like the slow ride home when the girl sat beside me and she's so tired
That she can't stop me from f-f-f-f-f feelin'"
Yeah, that's just sexual assault now, mate.

I know it's partly the accent but this song makes me picture Fred West hiding in a bush and wanking. It's like if a 'stranger' in a 1970s PIF had a theme tune as he's introduced oozing down the street in his Hillman Imp.

I'm sure Reg Presley wasn't a wrong 'un but he did if not write then willingly agree to sing that. It might be written from the perspective of a sex offender, I suppose. For double anti-PC points I first heard this song in an internet radio broadcast by an American DJ called 'Dave The Spaz'.

This is the funniest post I've read on this place for a very long time. In a  reaction to a comedy post reading version of that scene at the end of " Carrie" When you're watching it for far from the first time, I still LOLled  like a good ' un when the word " fannies" came up, even though I knew fine well that was the word Nonny was going to use.

[hard rocx and mettals]

Who was it on here who said that Christina Aguilera looks like she's be sticky to the touch? Or was it on Family Guy or something?

Are you thinking of Ke$ha? Would happily give her a good scrub.