LICK MY CUNT DRY YOU WORM!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

IRON MY ARSEHOLE

GRAB YOUR PATHETIC COCK AND WANK WHEN I TELL YOU TO YOU LITTLE SHIT

COOK ALL OF MY FOOD

STAPLE GUN YOURSELF YOU BASTARD

OBEY ALL OF MY COMMANDS

GO TO THE SHOPS FOR CIGS HERE IS A FIVER YOU SHRIVELLING CHODE

[cptspalding]

This week's episode of Blind Date sounds cracking

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR OWN BALLS YOU TWAT OF THE YEAR

[poo]

MAKE US A CUPPA YOU FUCKING SCROTUM

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

SHIT THE FUCKING BED NO BUT SERIOUSLY AND LITERALLY SHIT. THE. FUCKING. BED.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

DRAIN YOUR BALLS ON THE LAWNMOWER YOU FUCKING SHITEWORLD

[poo]

KILL THE POSTMAN. NOW!!

[cptspalding]

IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD EAT THAT DOG SHIT, YES YOU FUCKING WOULD BASTARD BITCH

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'VE BOUGHT YOU A TWIX YOU SMEG FACED WILL CARLING PUSFUCKER

[poo]

FINGER ME, WEEVIL

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

LAY ME OUT WITH AN ENCHANTED GARDENING GLOVE YOU FAKE COCKNEY PISSCHRIST

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

HOW ABOUT PUMMELLING ME WITH FISTS OF PISS YOU BRANCH MANAGER OF B&Q

[JoeyBananaduck]

GAPE MY ARSEHOLE WITH A FISTFUL OF ICE CUBES YOU FAT KNACKER

[Beagle 2]

DO IT INTO MY AREAS WITH APLOMB YOU DISAPPOINTING FORTNIGHT

[JoeyBananaduck]

WANK MY CLIT INTO A FOAMY STUPOR, YOU MISERABLE BERK

[Norton Canes]

JAM MY CAPS KEY JAM MY CAPS KEY JAM MY CAPS KEY JAM MY CAPS KEY

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

CRAM MY JAPS YOU MOTHER

[Mr Brightside]

Gaze into my eyes and then kiss me softly as you run your fingers through my hair.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

BEND ME OVER THE KITCHEN TABLE YOU MIDDLE MANAGEMENT ANUS FACE AND BELT THE TOTAL LIVING SHIT OUT OF MY BATTERED MOUND

[dex]

SCRAPE MY AXE WOUND WITH WET AND DRY PAPER YOU FUCKING NINCONPOOP

[Bhazor]

PULL YOUR GAPE WIDER, I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANY PART YOU WHEN WE FUCK

[Bhazor]

I'd like the agressive shit talk in porn to get a bit too real every now and then.  OH YEAH SUCK MY COCK YOU COCK SUCKER YEAH I HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE

[popcorn]

HONK IT

HONK IT

HONK IT

HONK IT

HONK IT

[thraxx]

MMH YEAH CRAM THOSE MARMITE MINI CHEDDARS UP MY URETHAL GAPE YOU FUCKING GUILLEMOT

[doppelkorn]

TOUCH MY BUM, LEMBIT. THIS IS LIFE.

[Vodka Margarine]

CONGRATULATE MY MOINKHOLE YOU SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT GRISTLEDAVID

LET'S DO THE UNITED COLOURS OF BENETTON HELLFUCK AGAIN

IT'S DREDGEPORK TIME YOU HAPLESS CRETIN

[Steven]

DRESS UP AS THE POPE AND CHAFE MY CRUSTY CUMQUAT CLEFT YOU COCKAMAMIE FUCKNUCKLE

[hamfist]

ROD MY KIDNEYS WITH YOUR TATTERED MEATUS YOU VAST DISAPPOINTMENT

[popcorn]

THIS IS SHIT

[The Masked Unit]

Your arsehole's gonna look like Nicolas Whichell's face after he's just been rebuffed by a third-tier royal, you great big fucking aids pudding.