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Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you

Started by Twed, September 19, 2017, 03:34:19 PM

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Twed

Monty Python were always great for these. Things that aren't particularly funny concepts or anything, but are just tonally perfect.

QuoteBetter keep listening. Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big noses.'

I love that. I love the way it sounds, the way it makes "the big noses" a societal grouping, the way it's delivered.

Phil_A

Pretty much every line in "Building A Human".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rO-I7butL4

"Don't worry, replicas can't feel any emotions. Except for pain...and love."

"Of course, they haven't had their life-force fucked into them yet, but this human will soon take care of that, won't you, Henry?"

Chriddof

Quote from: Phil_A on September 19, 2017, 05:03:22 PM
"Of course, they haven't had their life-force fucked into them yet, but this human will soon take care of that, won't you, Henry?"

Yes! The way "fucked" is so casually and unexpectedly dropped in there, as well.

For me, there's loads of lines in another Serafinowicz thing (the "full length" remake of Birds Of Britain from the Look Around You DVD) that would fit this thread:

(Footage of a pair of ducks in a pond constantly bobbing their heads into the water and back up again:)
"These are worker ducks. (pause) They're digging a hole."

"This is a piggy bird. Fat, isn't it."

"This bird's stolen some filthy cotton wool from a local hospital. Dirty bird."

I also like the bit at the end about birds being creatures that apparently arrived from outer space in 1962.

up_the_hampipe


DrGreggles


Twit 2

I'd estimate there's probably about 20,000 in that bundle.

kalowski

" He's thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done?"

Gulftastic


Twed

Quote from: Phil_A on September 19, 2017, 05:03:22 PM
Pretty much every line in "Building A Human".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rO-I7butL4

"Don't worry, replicas can't feel any emotions. Except for pain...and love."

"Of course, they haven't had their life-force fucked into them yet, but this human will soon take care of that, won't you, Henry?"
Popper and Serafinowicz really do have a great way with words in all of their short films.

Twed

Quote from: Chriddof on September 19, 2017, 07:05:32 PM
Yes! The way "fucked" is so casually and unexpectedly dropped in there, as well.

For me, there's loads of lines in another Serafinowicz thing (the "full length" remake of Birds Of Britain from the Look Around You DVD) that would fit this thread:

(Footage of a pair of ducks in a pond constantly bobbing their heads into the water and back up again:)
"These are worker ducks. (pause) They're digging a hole."

"This is a piggy bird. Fat, isn't it."

"This bird's stolen some filthy cotton wool from a local hospital. Dirty bird."

I also like the bit at the end about birds being creatures that apparently arrived from outer space in 1962.
Yes, perfect! Even the little ones like "here's a backskipper" are just perfect, because they're delivered with the confidence that these things are all obvious and standard in the universe that this film comes from.

thraxx


Think once, think twice, think don't drive your car on the pavement.

Gasman! Gasman! Gasman!

What a little turd!

Dr Rock

It's Dud interviewing Pete the Shepherd discussing the shepherds watching their flocks by night.

'You have to watch them at night because that's when they get up to all their rubbish.'



PlasticTom

"Benjamin, one other thing. While you're walking around the house today would you be good enough to wear these? We use them on Wednesdays, they help to restore the weft of the carpet..."

gatchamandave

#13
"I say, what a wonderful butler, he's so violent..."

" Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you"

" Gawd, you stink, old son .I mean, you really stink. No wonder you're always lonely"
"We've been through all dat, Mr Callan"

"What's your going-to-bed routine?"


"Well I normally.... get into bed..... and then I have a bit of a kip"

non capisco

Quote from: Twed on September 19, 2017, 07:36:52 PM
Popper and Serafinowicz really do have a great way with words in all of their short films.

Me and a workmate were absolutely, some would say irritatingly, obsessed with 'Markets Of Britain' for a while. It still makes me roar when I watch it now and I must have seen the damn thing a hundred times.

"What's this? A snake?....I dunno."


kalowski

No matter how often I see it this makes me weep with laughter:

"Now I want you to fill one of those containers for me."
"What, from here?"

kalowski

...and from the same episode...

"Are you now or have you at any time been a practising homosexual?"
"What, with these feet?"

hard rocx and mettals

'I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean seabass with an aggressive Zinfandel'

Serge

"Oh my god....it's gonna piss down!"

"Oh, you stupid twats."

up_the_hampipe

Simple joke, but much more effective from Leslie Nielsen in Naked Gun: "By the way, I faked every orgasm"

notjosh

"Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?'"

"No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man."

DukeDeMondo

Homer: When I was a boy I wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on the coffee table. The doctors thought I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

Has me in fits, every time.


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: notjosh on September 19, 2017, 10:51:15 PM
"Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?'"

"No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man."

The look of sheer incredulousness makes this perfect.

Lawrence is the voice of reason in that film.

Bad Ambassador

"Could we cancel our fruit salads?"
"That's a bit difficult, Chef's just opened the tin."

"How would you describe your relationship with your mother?"





























"I was her son."

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

From Annie Hall:

Quote"He's got millions of followers who would crawl across the world just to touch the hem of his garment."

"It must be a tremendous hem."

I think "tremendous hem" may be the funniest juxtaposition of words ever conjured.




Vodka Margarine

"They're Scotland's number one bagpiping combo. They've been on How Do They Do That"

zonko

My granddaughter came in and she says 'Grandad! That tv's really loud!' And it was really loud. Don't think that's actually supposed to be funny but it always amuses me.

Psmith

"That's the last time I play the tart for you Jerry."

https://youtu.be/S-5Lp8v2t5A

We say it a lot in our house.

Gregory Torso

"And you weren't much help were you, you little wanky window?"