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Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you

Started by Twed, September 19, 2017, 03:34:19 PM

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madhair60

Quote from: Utter Shit on September 20, 2017, 04:18:45 PM
I will never tire of Nathan helpfully offering the owner of a terrible haunted house amusement part the tagline "where pussies go to relax" in Nathan For You.

"I'm going to be honest with you guys. This will never end."


VelourSpirit

From Nirvanna the Band the Show, I think the first Viceland episode:
"Now you're looking like the dick man. You're looking like the penis dude."

I can't find a clip but the delivery is amazing.

Marsha in Spaced: "I'll save the champers til the big night. I'm sure I can resists its charms until then."
(Three second  pause before champagne cork pops and Martha gives a muffled cheer).

That cheer never fails to crack me up.

PlasticTom

"...and Crilly..."
"Yes?"
"If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I will rip off your arms."

Possibly my favourite delivery of any line in any comedy programme.

Utter Shit

Quote from: madhair60 on September 20, 2017, 05:18:54 PM
"I'm going to be honest with you guys. This will never end."
Oh my Christ the first time I heard that I cried laughing.

PlasticTom that was great, Bishop Brennan was so good. I loved Finton Stack's "If you ever say that to me again, I'll put your head through the wall." Harrowing, what a villain.

magval

Quote from: Serge on September 19, 2017, 10:19:06 PM
"Oh my god....it's gonna piss down!"

"Oh, you stupid twats."

How do I find this online then? Is it from an Armstrong and Miller?



Twed

Quote from: PlasticTom on September 20, 2017, 07:20:35 PM
"...and Crilly..."
"Yes?"
"If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I will rip off your arms."

Possibly my favourite delivery of any line in any comedy programme.
Bested for me by "You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!".

Steven

#70
Paul Benedict in Spinal Tap on being referred to as "This twisted old fruit"



His offended but apologetic: "I'm just as God made me, Sir."

The whole Mike Yanagita scene from Fargo.



In particular his opening "Jeeeez, you look greeeeaaat." Brilliantly delivered awkward dialogue up to his eventual breakdown and plaintive "You were such a super lady!"

And pretty much all of this:



If I had to pick one line, it's probably Marwood's hysterical and nonsensical questioning of Danny about the rat's onions:

I: Aren't you getting absurdly high?

Danny: Precisely the reason I'm smoking it.

Withnail: I couldn't I'm spaced.

Danny: Not as spaced as your rodents.

I: Don't talk about them.

Danny: I imagine they're talking to each other.

I: What do you mean?

Danny: I've dealt with them.

I: Dealt with them? What the fuck do you mean?

Danny: Dosed `em. I expect they're dead down the drain.

I: Dead down the drain? What've you done to them?

Danny: Given 'em all drugged onion.

I: Jesus Christ! Why've you drugged their onions?!

Twed

It's the idea that the rats have onions and that's normal that makes that for me.

Serge

I think my favourite line in Withnail might be "The poop will boil through the glaze, we'll never be able to use the dinner service again!"

Although there is also, "Those are the kind of windows faces look in at."

lankyguy95

"And secondably, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot... your wife is dead."

Penfold


Sebastian Cobb

"best wishes from all the lads on the ark royal"

SpiderChrist

The way Steve Jones says "Who the fuck are you?" to the voice coach woman Tona De Brett in The Great Rock'n'Roll Swindle always makes me chuckle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZz82J4M4to

Cuellar

Quote from: Twed on September 20, 2017, 08:16:40 PM
Bested for me by "You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!".

Also "Don't call me Len you little prick!".

Pretty much anything Bishop Brennan says to be honest.

"I've got to be in RRROOOME tomorrow, for an audience with the holy father"


MoonDust

Pretty much everything Uncle Monty says in Withnail & I.

I was always tickled by the way he offered drinks.

Monty: Sherry?
Withnail: Sherry!
Monty: Sherry...  Sherry?
"I": Sherry.
Monty: Sherry..

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: Cuellar on September 21, 2017, 10:17:51 AM
Also "Don't call me Len you little prick!".

Pretty much anything Bishop Brennan says to be honest.

"I've got to be in RRROOOME tomorrow, for an audience with the holy father"

"I love those shows! Did you see the one with Elton John?"

MoonDust

I love the way Bishop Brennan rolls his Rs when he says Rome.

"And Crilley..."
"Yes?"
"If you try to bullshit like that again, I'll tear off your arms."

*Hangs up then is joined by his mistress in the bath tub.*

MoonDust

Talking of Brennan, has anyone ever seen Ken Loach's Jimmy's Hall? The actor for Brennan is in that, and plays a priest, and he's essentially the same character as Brennan except not funny. Strange little casting. I wonder if Loach is a Father Ted fan and loved the idea of a serious Bishop Brennan-esque priest.

Phil_A

Jim "Bishop Brennan" Norton has been acting since the sixties but oddly Ted is one of the few times he's actually done comedy.

Here is he playing an alien doctor on Babylon 5.


smudge1971

Quote from: Phil_A on September 21, 2017, 11:52:51 AM
Jim "Bishop Brennan" Norton has been acting since the sixties but oddly Ted is one of the few times he's actually done comedy.

Here is he playing an alien doctor on Babylon 5.


He looks like he has been thoroughly kicked up the arse.

Neville Chamberlain

#84
"Celery! Apples! Walnuts! Grapes!"

Fawlty Towers: Season 2, Episode 3: "Waldorf Salad"


Dr Rock

These aren't funny if you don't give a clue where they are from.

Quote from: Phil_A on September 21, 2017, 11:52:51 AM
Jim "Bishop Brennan" Norton has been acting since the sixties but oddly Ted is one of the few times he's actually done comedy.

Here is he playing an alien doctor on Babylon 5.



He's actually a really respected theatrical actor, won both a Tony and an Olivier award. I need to see the t.v. film where he played an older Stan Laurel.

Phil_A

Look
Quote from: worldsgreatestsinner on September 21, 2017, 01:04:27 PM
He's actually a really respected theatrical actor, won both a Tony and an Olivier award. I need to see the t.v. film where he played an older Stan Laurel.

Look no further!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_HubxC-Ip8

jobotic

Also from Father ted

"I could have you killed".

I'm always thinking that and laughing to myself.