Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you

[Ferris]

Tobias: No, I can't... I have an audition tomorrow. I'm up for a minor, but meaty role in a feature film: Confidence Man 2.
Gob: Oh yeah? I didn't see the first Confidence Man.
Tobias: No... 'Confidence Man 2' is my character.

[Bhazor]

AVGN on reviewing Superman 64

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeuYw3sBOow

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Always Sunny:

Mac: Why am I helping you?
Frank: Because I'm manipulating you, that's the way I get people to do things for me
Mac: Really?
Frank: Yeah
Mac: Shit that's awesome, how did you do that?
Frank: If you make my chair look real nice, I will tell you...
Mac: Deal!

[Twit 2]

In a film full of more obviously popular and notable lines, 'Except for personal use I concur', is such a fucking good one.

[saltysnacks]

'He bravely ran away'

[Terryfuckwit]

'no context sentence in quotations marks'

[St_Eddie]

'no context sentence in quotations marks'

That's my favourite line from the show, the title of which, I shall not mention for unspecified reasons.  Great show.  Best show ever, in fact!

[ColinPopshed]

In Bottom when Richie's date rings the doorbell and he panics, then she rings it again and he screams towards the hallway something like "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, TAKE IT EASY YOU BITCH!!!" The sudden Mayall explosiveness of it always makes me laugh.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

In Bottom when Richie's date rings the doorbell and he panics, then she rings it again and he screams towards the hallway something like "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, TAKE IT EASY YOU BITCH!!!" The sudden Mayall explosiveness of it always makes me laugh.

Also reminds of


"VD, VD WHY DO I BLOODY LOSE EVERYTHING ALWAYS?!"

Nobody could do vicious comic anger as well as Rik but the subsequent sleazy lick of the lips and

"So you think you're good at games to ya big boy?"

is one of my favourite Rik Mayall moments of all.

[LORD BAD VIBE]

Vyvyan, Vyvyan, Vyvyan! Honestly, whenever anything explodes in this house it's always 'blame Vyvyan'!

[kalowski]

They're called breasts, and everybody has them.
Well, I don't.
Yes, and nor did Adolf Hitler!

[petril]

Neil: Why didn't you cook your own tea, Vyvyan?
Vyvyan: Because I do not cook the tea, Neil, you do! That's what we agreed when we first came; you do the cooking, I'll look after the plants and the goldfish.
Neil: Yeah, and what did you make me cook on that first day?
Vyvyan: Er, sausages! It was a Tuesday.
Neil: Yeah, sausages and?
Vyvyan: Sausages and plants and goldfish! Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, now you discharge yours.

[kalowski]

Hey, Mike, that sounds like a cue for a really dirty joke, doesn't it

[alan nagsworth]

"Snakes are awful pets! It's like a breathing stick, starin' at ya all weird."

Might be my favourite Hank Hill line.

[thraxx]

RICK: Neil, what exactly does "messing with the big boys" entail?

NEIL: Uh, this...

[neveragain]

In a film full of more obviously popular and notable lines, 'Except for personal use I concur', is such a fucking good one.

I'm desperate to know what this is from.

[Andy147]

Withnail and I.

[kalowski]

Alexi Sayle in the aforementioned 'Nasty':

So I'd just like to take this opportunity, on national television, to assure you all, comrades, that honest to God, I have NOT, sold out...Anyway 'round about now, I usually have a Pot Noodle

[Artie Fufkin]

*stage whispering* Eddddddddddddieeeeeeee. I'm in the cupboaaaaaaaaaaaaard.

[LORD BAD VIBE]

Cor blimey, guvnor. Apples and pears, tit for tat, I love London town aaaaaaaand I was at Violet's funeral."

[Phoenix Lazarus]

In the Young Ones, Rik Mayall spilling a hot drink over himself and crying, "Ahh!  Scarred for life!  I am the Elephant Man!"  I really love that line for some reason.

[Artie Fufkin]

Another from Rik in Bottom; "Very interesting! V-v-v-v-v-very interesting!"

[kalowski]

In the Young Ones, Rik Mayall spilling a hot drink over himself and crying, "Ahh!  Scarred for life!  I am the Elephant Man!"  I really love that line for some reason.

God, yes.

[neveragain]

Withnail and I.

Cheers.

[thraxx]

Alexi Sayle in the aforementioned 'Nasty':

So I'd just like to take this opportunity, on national television, to assure you all, comrades, that honest to God, I have NOT, sold out...Anyway 'round about now, I usually have a Pot Noodle

It's the obsequious he sleazes out 'pot noooooodle' with the hand gesture that gets me.

[LORD BAD VIBE]

"The old trick, eh? Eat the telly before I get a chance to nick ya!"

I love the emphasis on "Eat" when he delivers the line.

[petril]

"The old trick, eh? Eat the telly before I get a chance to nick ya!"

I love the emphasis on "Eat" when he delivers the line.

the little look round he does when he falls through the floor, and says nothing

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

One of my favourite lines from The Micallef Program is in "District Attorney Ferguson" when he's grilling someone in court.

"Is it true or not true that certain things were done on certain dates that we mentioned in the previous take."

[bgmnts]

"No no spiwit! Bwavado! A touch of dewwing do."

"Uhhh, about 11 sir".

[Steven]

"No no spiwit! Bwavado! A touch of dewwing do."

"Uhhh, about 11 sir".

"He wanks as high as any in Wome!"