Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you

[Sebastian Cobb]

"A pony isn't a baby horse, it's a foal, a fucking foal."

[magval]

When George Michael realises Maebe might not be his cousin and says, sleazily, "maybe we're not family. Maybe that's very, very right, when..." and gets interrupted by Gob. It's a very funny reading.

[Yussef Dent]

"The Bobby Davro Snooker Experience."

[Chollis]

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

[bobloblaw]

''Suck my little twin. He lives up my arse."

"Sell me a paper"

[DrGreggles]

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

"That's a low blow, Bob Loblaw!"

[Gulftastic]

"That's a low blow, Bob Loblaw!"

Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb.

[Tikwid]

From the Barne and Fonte episode of Human Remains:

"Barne, what is this?" [holds up postcard of a Yeomen Guard]
"...picture of a bepheeda, okay?"

[Utter Shit]

Simon Pegg's entire performance in Black Books is sensational. I particularly love "it monitors your toilet breaks and scans your retina every 80 seconds". Also the face he pulls when he puts Fran's cigarette on his hand.

[kalowski]

Two from the live Coogan video.

Duncan Thickett: "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!"

Ernest Moss: "It's Barry White. Not the singer, but an orphan of the same name."

[Former]

"I've been waiting nine years to get my frisbee back... Awwww..."

Still making me laugh as I type it.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

In The Young Ones, there's a sketch where Neil's dressed as a policeman, and knocking on someone's door.  "Open up, it's the pigs," he says, in the style of a sarcastic copper, expecting to have to break the door down.  When this doesn't get a response, he knocks again, saying, "Open up, it's the pigs," this time in a normal voice, seemingly surprised and aggrieved his request wasn't responded to before.

[Ornlu]

"You'll never change, Vic. You're fully realised."

[Sebastian Cobb]

'There he is, the Captain Oates of having to read a relatively short book.'

[Ferris]

'There he is, the Captain Oates of having to read a relatively short book.'

The entire "teach me to read" interaction is fantastic.

[chveik]

'I feel like I'm in a therapy group being run by my own rapist.'

[Clownbaby]

In the Big Spoon Baby Balloon bit where Peter Baynham gets shouted at for using his tongue to feed the baby, he sounds proper upset when he goes Chriiiis!

[bgmnts]

Lets have a Thick of It day.

[Utter Shit]

I think we should use the carrot and stick approach. Take a carrot and stick it up his fucking arse.

[Bobloblawslawbomb]

Hugh - 'I am a fucking grown up'
Terri - 'You could have fooled me'
Hugh - 'Glenn's son could have fooled you.. no offence Glenn I'm sorry'

[bgmnts]

"That's not fucking funny ya retard...
I'm sorry about that, Glenn"

[Ornlu]

There's something really great in Capaldi's earnest delivery of "He loves Al Jolson."

[Utter Shit]

I love Jamie's angry tone when he shouts "don't stare at the fucking urinals, that's RUDE" at Terri. Of all the behaviour in that world to get angry about.

[fucking ponderous]

I have a feeling I saw this earlier in the thread, but:
"I'm going to be honest with you guys. This will never end."

[Ferris]

Jez, after Mark mocks him for wanting to be a "Front Bottom Inspector".

"That wasn't an aspiration; that was a tshirt"

...

"I threw that tshirt out months ago - know why? Because it was tasteless"

Something in the delivery makes me laugh like mad.

[Utter Shit]

I have a feeling I saw this earlier in the thread, but:
"I'm going to be honest with you guys. This will never end."

YES! One of the two best lines in Nathan For You, along with suggesting the owner of the terrible haunted house use the tag line "Where pussies go to relax".

[St_Eddie]

I have a feeling I saw this earlier in the thread, but:
"I'm going to be honest with you guys. This will never end."

Between the love within this thread and the Sacha Baron Cohen thread, I've spent all evening binge-watching Nathan For You (despite never even so much as having heard about it before, prior to last week).  I just finished the episode with the above quote and it was funny, yes but also a deeply touching moment.  The part which absolutely slayed me was five minutes later, in the same episode...

"You drink your Grandson's pee if you get scared?"

"Not Grandson's.  Any little kid.  Not over age of 5 because over age of 5, it's terrible."

I was shocked to do some research and find that the vast majority of the people in the show are absolutely genuine and that pee bit in particular was unscripted.  You can see Nathan's reaction is one of genuine surprise and shock.  Beautiful, just beautiful.

This is one of the reason's why I love CaB; I likely would have never seen this excellent show, were it not for you bunch of brilliant bastards.  Thank you!

[Utter Shit]

Between the love within this thread and the Sacha Baron Cohen thread, I've spent all evening binge-watching Nathan For You (despite never even so much as having heard about it before, prior to last week).  I just finished the episode with the above quote and it was funny, yes but also a deeply touching moment.  The part which absolutely slayed me was five minutes later, in the same episode...

"You drink your Grandson's pee if you get scared?"

"Not Grandson's.  Any little kid.  Not over age of 5 because over age of 5, it's terrible."

I was shocked to do some research and find that the vast majority of the people in the show are absolutely genuine and that pee bit in particular was unscripted.  You can see Nathan's reaction is one of genuine surprise and shock.  Beautiful, just beautiful.

This is one of the reason's why I love CaB; I likely would have never seen this excellent show, were it not for you bunch of brilliant bastards.  Thank you!

Interesting that you mentioned it in connection to the Sacha Baron Cohen show - Nathan For You is another show, like the Bernie Sanders bit in Who Is America?, that starts off with a really terrible idea which is miles below the standard set by the rest of the show. The poo chocolate thing is, for me, pretty much the only rubbish bit of the entire series...I dread to think how many potential fans they turned off by putting that first.

[up_the_hampipe]

Interesting that you mentioned it in connection to the Sacha Baron Cohen show - Nathan For You is another show, like the Bernie Sanders bit in Who Is America?, that starts off with a really terrible idea which is miles below the standard set by the rest of the show. The poo chocolate thing is, for me, pretty much the only rubbish bit of the entire series...I dread to think how many potential fans they turned off by putting that first.

What? That was a funny segment.

[alan nagsworth]

"Just leave!"

Matt Berry voicing the cat in the opening scene of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. An extremely hit and miss show, but fuck me, that line is incredible. I think about it most days.