Author Topic: Film cliches you want to fuck off  (Read 103217 times)

Film cliches you want to fuck off
« on: September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM »
Inspired by a complaint in the "Phrases I hate" thread, specifically this post from Brundle Fry:

You just don't get it, do you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KoKWf6pLs8

Just discovered these other cliches. God, I love YouTube.

We're not so different, you and I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH0YPXb49q0

I can explain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUecGB5yZ0U

This one is disgracefully overused.

He/she's behind me, isn't he/she?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECzPHbn0Bo

Mine is: "Are you done?"

This always follows some sub-Sorkin impassioned rant. Are you done? It's especially irritating because it feels like it's meant to sort of balance things out. Like you're supposed to be excited by the impassioned rant, but then the other character goes, get this, "Are you done?", and you're like "Shit! The shoe's on the other foot now!"

What cliches do you want to fuck off, dialogue or otherwise?

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2017, 01:51:53 PM »
[tag]RIP Deeper Into Movies[/tag]

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2017, 01:54:32 PM »
The "You just don't get it, do you?" originated with me, and I will stick with that one as it is literally the only film cliche that really sparks an active negative response from me (unless it is used in parody, which it so seldom is).  All others I can wave off quite easily.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2017, 01:55:33 PM »
Whoops, sorry, I thought was in the movies forum. Looks like it's me who "just doesn't get it"!!!

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2017, 02:31:48 PM »
THERE IS A STORM COMING

Second only in my mind too:

"War is coming, and you'd better pick a side!"

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2017, 02:36:01 PM »
THERE IS A STORM COMING

Usually spoken by an old black woman in a rocking chair on her stoop.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2017, 02:36:33 PM »
Phone rings.
Seriously man answers phone with a barely audible grunt.
Other party delivers critical info.
Serious man hangs up without so much as a thankyou or goodbye.


Probably drives an Audi.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2017, 02:37:57 PM »
"All right, Mr [Character], I'll bite."

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2017, 03:16:26 PM »
Phone rings.
Seriously man answers phone with a barely audible grunt.
Other party delivers critical info.
Serious man hangs up without so much as a thankyou or goodbye.


Probably drives an Audi.

Yes the lack of manners really grates on me, even if someone told me over the phone my family had died in chemical explosion I would still thank the person telling me.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2017, 03:21:30 PM »
People trying to tie their foreskin like they're tying a balloon.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2017, 03:32:01 PM »
Second only in my mind too:

"War is coming, and you'd better pick a side!"
This is my favourite. Any time somebody in a film urges another to pick a side, the line always gets used in the trailer.

MoonDust

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2017, 03:32:26 PM »
Inexplicable snogging out of fucking nowhere.

Think Jurassic World.


Nearly got ripped to shreds by a pterosaur, think I'll just gob my ex.

Prez

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2017, 03:36:53 PM »
Do directors think no one can see through the old 'One of our heroes has been crushed by the weight of a collasped building, huskily breathing their last words to our main hero, but we can't kill them off, so they'll make a miraculous recovery later, after some basic CPR' cliché by now?

They must think this is still an ingenious trick of the trade. I don't know why they keep using it otherwise.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2017, 04:31:58 PM by Prez »

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2017, 03:39:08 PM »
"leave me here / you go on without me"

The chance for a rogue to make good on all the bad or for a coward to finally show some backbone.  Nah


MoonDust

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2017, 03:42:01 PM »
People taking a bullet to the abdomen/torso and still managing to stay conscious and move about.

Nah mate, sack of potatoes.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2017, 03:47:17 PM »
The hero has finally defeated the villain and has the opportunity to remorselessly kill fuck out of him. But he won't do it, because he's the hero. Can't go around remorselessly killing fuck of out the main villain, only his henchman can have fuck killed of out them. So he spares the villain and starts to walk away. The end.

Wait what's this now! The villain is attacking even though we thought he was finished! What a dishonourable cur. Well now the hero can happily spin round and kill fuck out of him and nobody needs to feel bad.

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #16 on: September 25, 2017, 04:02:10 PM »
That you can blag your way into any high-security facility by dressing as a pizza delivery man or saying 'if Mr Spalding doesn't get this letter he's going to find out it was you who wouldn't let me get it to him, and then you'll be right up shit creek.'

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #17 on: September 25, 2017, 04:06:49 PM »
Alarm systems that use beams in the visible spectrum.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2017, 04:20:35 PM »
When a woman has a wank, it's empowering, liberating, and rebellious.

When a bloke has a wank, he's pathetic.

I want wanking equality.

Jerzy Bondov

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    • righto so ive got five minutes off work and uh yeah im gonna have a cheeky volvic
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #19 on: September 25, 2017, 04:25:35 PM »
A good way to alert your friends to the arrival of some baddies is to say 'We've got company!!'

mothman

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #20 on: September 25, 2017, 05:20:51 PM »
“Captain [or whatever] - you gotta come see this.”

No, what I gotta do is wait for you to state clearly what exactly it is you’ve discovered and why it is important, making allowances for any natural scepticism I or others might have regarding any potential implausibility said reporter discovery might engender

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #21 on: September 25, 2017, 06:29:46 PM »
“Captain [or whatever] - you gotta come see this.”

No, what I gotta do is wait for you to state clearly what exactly it is you’ve discovered and why it is important, making allowances for any natural scepticism I or others might have regarding any potential implausibility said reporter discovery might engender

This and I have some important information to tell you but we have to meet in person whilst I leave you hanging, you have just seen an Alien, it's not a blood test at the doctor's.

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2017, 06:47:40 PM »
As if possessed by CULKIN, the actor within the very centre of the screen pumps his arm and says "YESSSSS".

mothman

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2017, 07:03:55 PM »
This and I have some important information to tell you but we have to meet in person whilst I leave you hanging, you have just seen an Alien, it's not a blood test at the doctor's.

Of course, Fox Mulder’s various sources (Deep Throat, X, er...  Rance Howard...) were past masters at this. “I can’t tell you what is going on, you have to discover it for yourself.” ... or you could just tell him. He’s not likely to scoff too much at anything you tell him, however unlikely.

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2017, 07:16:20 PM »
Characters walking and talking with an edit that shows them
in a different place but the conversation hasn't moved on. I believe this has been parodied a few times in comedy films.

Post-Austin Powers I still can't believe villains tie up the hero, explain their plan and then walk off. Most recently seen in the latest Bond, ffs.

Hero brought out of retirement, they're living in a dilapidated house in the country, doing it up and/or engaging in beekeeping or whatever their hobby is. Person who fetches them can have a symbolic conversation about the bees.

Characters getting their food/drink, and don't consume it, one or both characters leave early.

Cop with a messy desk, takeaway/junk food.

Villains setting up elaborate mouse trap chains of events that in reality would be fucked by chaos theory.

Any protagonist encountering a creepy or plain dangerous situation and sticking around/investigating instead of scarpering. Let the drama happen organically instead of on people making decisions that no one in real life would. Walking Dead is entirely built on this.

Anal sex as a treat. You either like anal and it's on the cards or not.

Working class intellectual/savant. Is it Steve Buscemi in Armageddon who brags about his IQ in his hi-vis?

Serial killer/villain who quotes Dante/Nietzsche or whatever.

Hero having a sparse and tidy flat because they're too busy doing heroics to have laundry and tat.

Character who doesn't smoke smoking to indicate the gravity of their situation. Bonus points if offered cigarette, decline and then reach for it/ask for it later in scene.

I could go on for hours.

MoonDust

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2017, 07:31:07 PM »
People talking in cryptic parables just to make a boring thought more interesting.

Usually in cop shows when the cop is getting all serious.

Instead of just saying "mate, this world's fucked up."

It's always ".....there was this time, once, when a deer ran in front of my car...." or something, then a long story, then the other character being like "......and?" then the serious cop saying something "....some times the world's just crazy."

Could have saved us five minutes and said that straight away.

I mean, who talks like that?

Normal conversation: "so what do you think about the Syrian war, eh? Awful isn't it?"
"Yes, the world's fucked up.

Film conversation: "so what do you think about the Syrian war, eh? Awful isn't it?"
"...........one winter my dad had to go fix tiles on the roof....."

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #26 on: September 25, 2017, 07:32:24 PM »
Characters shaking their head and muttering "Gordon Bennett!"


I mean who can even remember who Gordon Bennett was in 2017?  Yet they still stir him up!

mothman

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2017, 08:43:56 PM »
Well, his co-star Tony Hart keeps getting presumed alive so he can be announced as having died, so...

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #28 on: September 25, 2017, 08:49:02 PM »
Al Leong getting killed.  Bill and Ted was a rare survival.

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #29 on: September 25, 2017, 08:59:53 PM »
Villain lets themselves be captured.

It's all part of the plan.