Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 02:35:38 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Film cliches you want to fuck off

Started by popcorn, September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: kalowski on February 01, 2019, 07:50:28 PM
And the unrealistic screens when people are hacking. Rather than just a list of code, it's like a 1980s ZX81 game with skull and crossbones images for forbidden links etc.
And nobody uses mice for GUIs - it's all typing, no clicking.

Sebastian Cobb

There's some truth in that if you're working remotely (as you would if you're hacking).

Tmux + vim is quite common.


mr. logic

Quote from: mothman on February 02, 2019, 09:17:33 AM
Americans always have loads of extraneous cushions arranged artistically on their perfectly made beds, which gave to be removed to get into said bed.

As they discuss the events of the day. A neighbouring couple's marriage break down or Dwayne's swim meet.

momatt

Quote from: mothman on February 02, 2019, 09:17:33 AM
Americans always have loads of extraneous cushions arranged artistically on their perfectly made beds, which gave to be removed to get into said bed.
Some real people have these too.  People with nice houses.  :-p

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 02, 2019, 09:38:41 AM
L shaped duvet that manages to cover the woman up to her shoulders but the man up to his belly button.
These duvets are the worst.  They ruin so many good potential scenes of nudity.
I'm glad these aren't real.  Or in nice people's houses.

Quote from: momatt on February 03, 2019, 05:51:18 PM
Some real people have these too. 

I like that: there's Americans-and then there's real people!

Chollis

Much-weaker person heroically lunges at much-stronger person, much-stronger person easily blocks, usually with one hand and sometimes bending weaker's weapon with his bare hands or something cos he's that fucking hard. Close up of weaker person's face, eyes widen in disbelief as he realises how hench this cunt is, strong bloke grabs him by throat, lifts him off the floor with one hand and tosses him aside

momatt

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on February 03, 2019, 06:00:33 PM
I like that: there's Americans-and then there's real people!

Well they're not real are they.
Puppets made of plastic and string I read somewhere.

Icehaven

Slightly different interpretation of the thread but; when someone you're watching a film with insists on faffing about at the start, making a drink or looking for their special pillow or whatever, and (crucially) refusing all offers to pause as they'll 'only be two seconds', but two seconds becomes 5-10 minutes, and they miss some scene-setting information and character introduction, then when they finally sit the fuck down they either don't get what's going on or don't know who people are, or something happens later that foxes them because they missed the bit at the start. I won't even watch a film if I've missed the first 10 minutes so I don't know how they can stand it and they shouldn't be allowed to.

Ferris

Looking at a newspaper... only for blood to drip onto it from above. Drop..... drop...

mothman

Or it's sonething else, and something fluid but unspeakable drops onto it, so the person holding said thing looks up... and the alien or other monstrosity is above them waiting to pounce, which it does.

beanheadmcginty


Ferris

*request at gunpoint*

"No"

*cocks pistol* I won't ask again.


Clownbaby

I don't a really want this one to fuck off but the "mysterious/troublesome character first introduction shot" where you just see a shot of one of their feet stepping out of a car and they've got some kind of distinctive pair of shoes on and then the camera pans up to reveal

zomgmouse

Quote from: Clownbaby on February 10, 2019, 01:34:22 PM
I don't a really want this one to fuck off but the "mysterious/troublesome character first introduction shot" where you just see a shot of one of their feet stepping out of a car and they've got some kind of distinctive pair of shoes on and then the camera pans up to reveal

This was done extremely well in Strangers on a Train where it was both protagonists who were introduced by their shoes and I'm pretty sure you only got to see them both as people once their shoes were on the train and bumped into each other under a table.

olliebean

The long zoom-out from a character looking out through the window of a spaceship.

Scene starts with anguished character talking, the only one in the shot. Pouring out some long pent-up feelings of fear or desire, in the direction of a yet-unshown subject. The camera pans around/shot reversed to reveal they were talking to a dog/baby/mirror the entire time aaaaahhhhhh...

beanheadmcginty

Establishing shot of a sunny swimming pool party and the camera follows a girl's bum in a bikini.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on February 10, 2019, 03:36:01 PM
Establishing shot of a sunny swimming pool party and the camera follows a girl's bum in a bikini.

Establishing shot of a moonlit swimming pool party and the camera follows a man's giant cock reflecting off the pool surface.

Captain Z

Can anybody tell me where on my mobile phone is the button that says either out loud or by text on the screen 'You have no new messages'?

mothman

I think that's just a feature on American mobiles, or "cellphones" as they call them. The processing power it requires is acquired through their "cells" not having an address book feature or last-call redial, which is why everyone in the US always calls people by typing out their full number.

lipsink

Baddie says: "I'm not a monster. I'm a business man."

Also, I've never seen anyone in real life dab their lips with a napkin like baddies do in a restaurant in films.

Baddies holds a girl at gunpoint and the protagonist says: "Go on, shoot her. She means nothing to me."

McFlymo

Quote from: lipsink on February 11, 2019, 12:19:49 PM

Baddies holds a girl at gunpoint and the protagonist says: "Go on, shoot her. She means nothing to me."

Or baddies hold girl, other baddies hold hero, hero says, "Let her go!" struggles to break free, fails. Villain laughs ... doesn't let girl go.

McFlymo

Quote from: icehaven on February 08, 2019, 02:17:02 PM
Slightly different interpretation of the thread but; when someone you're watching a film with insists on faffing about at the start, making a drink or looking for their special pillow or whatever, and (crucially) refusing all offers to pause as they'll 'only be two seconds', but two seconds becomes 5-10 minutes, and they miss some scene-setting information and character introduction, then when they finally sit the fuck down they either don't get what's going on or don't know who people are, or something happens later that foxes them because they missed the bit at the start. I won't even watch a film if I've missed the first 10 minutes so I don't know how they can stand it and they shouldn't be allowed to.

What part of, "do you want to watch a film?" do people not fucking understand?!

If yes: Sit down and shut the fuck up.

If no: Let me watch it in peace!!!

Sebastian Cobb

Detective interviews crooked sports coach. Halfway through calmly answering questions they angrily bollock one of the training athletes on their technique.

'WHAT DID I TELL YOU? ELBOWS!'

Quote from: Clownbaby on February 10, 2019, 01:34:22 PM
I don't a really want this one to fuck off but the "mysterious/troublesome character first introduction shot" where you just see a shot of one of their feet stepping out of a car and they've got some kind of distinctive pair of shoes on and then the camera pans up to reveal

Blind Terror, from 1971, kept the shot on the baddie's distinctive boots for nearly the whole film, not showing his face till the end.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 14, 2019, 07:45:56 PM
Detective interviews crooked sports coach. Halfway through calmly answering questions they angrily bollock one of the training athletes on their technique.

'WHAT DID I TELL YOU? ELBOWS!'

Just any time a detective interviews someone - the person always carries on doing some unrelated task like digging, serving drinks, pruning.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: icehaven on February 08, 2019, 02:17:02 PM
Slightly different interpretation of the thread but; when someone you're watching a film with insists on faffing about at the start, making a drink or looking for their special pillow or whatever, and (crucially) refusing all offers to pause as they'll 'only be two seconds', but two seconds becomes 5-10 minutes, and they miss some scene-setting information and character introduction, then when they finally sit the fuck down they either don't get what's going on or don't know who people are, or something happens later that foxes them because they missed the bit at the start. I won't even watch a film if I've missed the first 10 minutes so I don't know how they can stand it and they shouldn't be allowed to.

This but applied to my friends talking shit and making fun of the Blair Witch Project for its entire runtime until the final scene when they finally admitted it was pretty creepy and they wondered why the guy was standing in the corner and I had to explain that the reason was mentioned earlier while they had been busy talking over the film.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on February 15, 2019, 10:46:11 AM
Just any time a detective interviews someone - the person always carries on doing some unrelated task like digging, serving drinks, pruning.

Yeah, I had some coppers come round after we were burgled once and even though they were on my side I was still a bit anxious.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on February 15, 2019, 10:48:11 PM
This but applied to my friends talking shit and making fun of the Blair Witch Project for its entire runtime until the final scene when they finally admitted it was pretty creepy and they wondered why the guy was standing in the corner and I had to explain that the reason was mentioned earlier while they had been busy talking over the film.

BWP is not about explanation its about a feeling. And that feeling is hopeless terror.

St_Eddie

Quote from: BlodwynPig on February 16, 2019, 12:52:47 AM
BWP is not about explanation its about a feeling. And that feeling is hopeless terror.

Yes but it's also about explanation, should you have annoying friends who talk throughout the film and miss the detail of Rustin Parr's victims and hence, why Mike is standing in the corner at the end of the film.  At that point, I should imagine that it's a film about the feeling of wanting to slap philistinic twats around the back of the head, as much as it is hopeless terror.