Film cliches you want to fuck off

[St_Eddie]

Person who has a breakdown and does something shocking on air. Their viewing figures then go up. Their manager/producer will say "Haven't you seen the news? You're on every channel! This is the type of publicity we could only dream of!"

I'm sure it's already been mentioned (possibly even by me) but with scenes involving eating it's both amusing and annoying when you notice it's one where the actors can't actually eat the food. They'll pick their fork up then start talking and put it down, probably several times, or spend the whole scene slicing something up, or piling different things onto their plate from various serving dishes but the scene will end before they actually start eating. For someone like me who can't stand it when people faff about letting their dinner go cold it's incredibly irritating.

I can relate to this.  My Mum is perhaps the world's slowest eater.  She'll constantly put some food on her fork, raise it towards her mouth but then start talking and place the food back down on the plate.  She maybe has one bite every two minutes or so.  Every mealtime at a family get together takes an age because once everyone else has finished their meal, my Mum still has virtually an entire plate of cold food to slowly make her way through.

And I'm sure I've posted this before, but you can't suffocate someone with a pillow over the mouth. It's easy to breathe through a pillow.

Actually, it is possible to suffocate someone with a pillow and it has been done (the Elliot Turner case springs to mind).  It's just that it's not as quick and easy as the movies suggest.  In reality it would likely take a good few minutes and the victim would be struggling and attempting to put up a considerable fight.

[kalowski]

I'm sure it's already been mentioned (possibly even by me) but with scenes involving eating it's both amusing and annoying when you notice it's one where the actors can't actually eat the food. They'll pick their fork up then start talking and put it down, probably several times, or spend the whole scene slicing something up, or piling different things onto their plate from various serving dishes but the scene will end before they actually start eating. For someone like me who can't stand it when people faff about letting their dinner go cold it's incredibly irritating.

Scorsese does this well. Often in his movies they eat when acting in such a way that half the lines in those scenes are said with a full mouth.

[olliebean]

I'm guessing in most eating scenes they've been told not to actually eat anything because it's a continuity nightmare.

[St_Eddie]

I'm guessing in most eating scenes they've been told not to actually eat anything because it's a continuity nightmare.

That and the fact that scenes take many hours (sometimes even days) to shoot and the actors don't want to throw up from overeating.

[zomgmouse]

How much food has been wasted in the history of film making. It chills my bones.

Wait till you hear about literally every other aspect of filmmaking.

(A hyperbole, but still. Think of the props, effects, sets, costumes, etc.)

[zomgmouse]

Scorsese does this well. Often in his movies they eat when acting in such a way that half the lines in those scenes are said with a full mouth.

I think Bill Murray in Groundhog Day famously ate a lot during the eating scene.

[Clownbaby]

In TV as well. Someone solves a crossword clue over someone's shoulder and the person doing the crossword doesn't know what they mean at first

"Oh by the way I spoke to Helen- GRIMACE."

"What?"

"7 across, to contort your face unpleasantly. Grimace."

[St_Eddie]

In TV as well. Someone solves a crossword clue over someone's shoulder and the person doing the crossword doesn't know what they mean at first

"Oh by the way I spoke to Helen- GRIMACE."

"What?"

"7 across, to contort your face unpleasantly. Grimace."

I think that they might have done this in the 'Natural Born Quizzers' episode of Coogan's Run.  I can't be certain but I've definitely seen it somewhere and most likely more than once, so yeah; good shout.

[samadriel]

It was done in a jokey way in 'Hot Fuzz'.

[paruses]

That and the fact that scenes take many hours (sometimes even days) to shoot and the actors don't want to throw up from overeating.

Seem to remember hearing that James Gandolfini was very much the exception to this whatever food was in front of him - the original plate and all the continuity plates for retakes too.

Look at me saying plate like I'm an American.

[mothman]

And how did that work out for him?

[lipsink]

In Judd Apatow-type improv comedies a black character will mention the fact they're black within about 20 seconds:

"Y'all, is this some freaky white shit?"

[Dex Sawash]

Look at me saying plate like I'm an American.

What should one say?
I'll answer another school bus question if you tell.

[St_Eddie]

In Judd Apatow-type improv comedies a black character will mention the fact they're black within about 20 seconds:

"Y'all, is this some freaky white shit?"

Aw hell naw, ya didn't!

[lipsink]

"I'll die before I tell you anything!"

"That can be arranged."

Also, in romcoms there's the ending when a character declared their love on live TV and the other character has to rush across town to get to them.

[zomgmouse]

There's two people at a dance and the music is pumping and then there's a slightly awkward moment and then the music turns slow and a little romantic and the two characters have to do a slow dance together and it brings them closer.

[gilbertharding]

I'm guessing in most eating scenes they've been told not to actually eat anything because it's a continuity nightmare.

I remember a Victoria Wood sketch where one of the characters (an actor in a film) opined that 'my character would probably have a cigarette at this point', was told not to because the budget couldn't stand the continuity nightmare involved.

[JesusAndYourBush]

There's two people at a dance and the music is pumping and then there's a slightly awkward moment and then the music turns slow...

As I was reading I thought you were gonna say the other similar one...  the music turns off - timed perfectly to hear a line of conversation which is along the lines of "this party is shit", "the bride's a whore", etc.

[St_Eddie]

As I was reading I thought you were gonna say the other similar one...  the music turns off - timed perfectly to hear a line of conversation which is along the lines of "this party is shit", "the bride's a whore", etc.

[paruses]

What should one say?

Dish - I think. It's not a British thing to say "I'll fix you a plate" is it?

Mind you - they do say plate a lot on Masterchef so now I'm doubting myself. They "get a plate [for you]" a lot in The Sopranos is now all I am certain of.

I'll answer another school bus question if you tell.

Please do - I've never questioned the frankly communist setup of free school bus rides nor the endless routes they must take to travel very short distances.

My current Americo-centric question is around wine glasses. People always seem to hunch forwards and hold the bowl of the glass rather than by the stem. Is that just the equivalent of the girl on the massive settee holding a mug in both hands styling?

I've not thought this through properly.

[magval]

There's two people at a dance and the music is pumping and then there's a slightly awkward moment and then the music turns slow and a little romantic and the two characters have to do a slow dance together and it brings them closer.

Brilliantly subverted in Freaks and Geeks.

[Dex Sawash]

My wife holds the bowl part. When I fetch refills I try holding the stem but it seems quite unbalanced and makes me anxious. We keep the settee girl bound so no help there.

[paruses]

We keep the settee girl bound so no help there.

Wise - you do not want them loose.

Can I change my question and ask if cheques/checks are still a really big thing in the States? As a lover of stationery I have always had a mild thrill when the unusually sized cheque book in its wallet is taken out and filled in with a tiny pen. I saw it just this morning on Dead To Me so they must still exist.

[Dex Sawash]

Checks are only useful now for sending money to school to pay for stuff there like paper as they constantly hit you up for a few dollars for something, presumably a shell game to pay for the busses. If you give cash to the children to take to school they would just buy drugs off the bus drivers.

I took a check to the banque just yesterday.

Fun bus fact, when I was in HS the bus drivers were other HS students. That practice ended in late 80s I think.

[mothman]

In films, the hero always has advanced motor mechanic skills, who will spend hours (usually while hiding in a disused remote garage that nevertheless has all the tools they need) dismantling and tuning an old banger until it purrs like a tiger. It will usually be some huge 1970s American model. Well, it'd have to be, as most modern cars require a laptop and an electrical engineering degree to maintain.

[magval]

A lot of the cliches in this great thread (probably my favourite thread), I actually like.

One I DO want to fuck off, though, is two characters having a conversation with the cadence of a breakup when they aren't actually breaking up or even in a relationship, or any variation on it.

Like Joey and Chandler having an argument about parenting, as though they're a couple, concerning the animals they lived with. Not a couple, not parents.

It's so hacky, for one thing, but I hate that such characters all of a sudden start behaving completely uncharacterisically for the sake of a gag that boils down to "this is like something else".

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

A group of people in a room will slowly start bickering and arguing. The arguing will build in intensity, with the editing getting quicker and quicker until the person we haven't seen for a bit and who we least expect to shouts "SHUTUP!" plays Another One Bites The Dust on the bass and everyone goes quiet and stops to look at them and sees sense.

[MidnightShambler]

In films, the hero always has advanced motor mechanic skills, who will spend hours (usually while hiding in a disused remote garage that nevertheless has all the tools they need) dismantling and tuning an old banger until it purrs like a tiger. It will usually be some huge 1970s American model. Well, it'd have to be, as most modern cars require a laptop and an electrical engineering degree to maintain.

It always pisses me off that every American male knows the year every car was made.

'Hello, police? Two guys just drove outta here in a real hurry, green 76 Chevy, heading east onto Vine. They looked like they sure meant trouble'.

Also, glamorous girl just happens to know absolutely everything about every car ever made, on account of her daddy and her two brothers being mechanics. She didn't do girly things you see, it was all football and drag racing since mom left.

[Sebastian Cobb]

It always pisses me off that every American male knows the year every car was made.

'Hello, police? Two guys just drove outta here in a real hurry, green 76 Chevy, heading east onto Vine. They looked like th

I think it's an American convention of using the year the model was released, rather than the year of the actual car, so it's more equivalent to saying 'MK2 Golf'.

Still improbable people would know which version of every car like.

[MidnightShambler]

I think it's an American convention of using the year the model was released, rather than the year of the actual car, so it's more equivalent to saying 'MK2 Golf'.

Still improbable people would know which version of every car like.

Yeah I thought it maybe something like that but it's still ridiculous, especially when the car is 45 years old and the onlooker is 18. It's like a teenager here all of a sudden spotting an Austin Maestro from half a mile away.