Film cliches you want to fuck off

[Icehaven]

The mirror on the door above the bathroom sink reveals nothing behind the character. They open the little cabinet door its on, close it and.... there's nothing behind them. You think "Phew, for a second i thought"A DIFFERENT BIG JUMP SCARE THEN HAPPENS.

Doing it that way is no less hacky.

The stupid thing about both those clichés, and ones where someone's in a room, hears someone coming and ducks behind a couch or door to hide, is the person who fails to notice them would have to have zero peripheral vision and pisspoor hearing, and in some of the cabinet/locker/fridge door scenario not even notice a pair of feet appearing right next to theirs or someone standing right behind them.

[Dr Rock]

Kids and sometimes adults in peril will often hide under their bed. Nobody ever has one of them beds with all drawers underneath, or have loads of stuff under there used for storing toys or suitcases or all the things I ever put under a bed that would stop me being able to hide under it because of draclias etc.

[zomgmouse]

When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

[kalowski]

When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

Or just type LIST.

[AsparagusTrevor]

Traffic jams where every single fucker is peeping their horn.

This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

[mothman]

It's called the Third World Brake Pedal for a reason.

[Bazooka]

This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

In Asia there could be one car on the road and the driver would still hit the horn.

[Icehaven]

This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

There's either a Simpsons or Family Guy joke where they're stuck in a jam and Homer/Peter says something like ''Don't worry, I have a foolproof method of getting out of traffic jams'' and just starts beeping the horn aggressively.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Also the harder/more aggressively you smack your horn the louder it goes.

[gilbertharding]

Anyone who's ever woken up with a hangover in Naples can testify: the horn gets a lot more use in some countries than others.

Protip: I tried to recreate my own little bit of Southern Italian atmosphere by honking liberally on my return to Kent. Do not do this.

[mothman]

Were you tutted at?

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

always looked to me like he had his hand on his hip doing some sort of death defying "i'm a little teapot" routine

[mothman]

It always reminds me of Monty Python's camp soldiers for some reason.

[paruses]

When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

So many computer ones - system searches that show you every mugshot it's matching against the original, ditto fingerprints. And then a massive "MATCH" or "NOT FOUND" sent to the screen on success/failure are the ones that bug me most for some reason.

Also - entry card units that flash up "ACCESS DENIED" on doors rather than just a little red light or doing fuck all so the protagonist has to keep pressing his pass against it with differing levels of determination, unsure if it's registered would be more realistic.

[Sebastian Cobb]

So many computer ones - system searches that show you every mugshot it's matching against the original, ditto fingerprints. And then a massive "MATCH" or "NOT FOUND" sent to the screen on success/failure are the ones that bug me most for some reason.

Also - entry card units that flash up "ACCESS DENIED" on doors rather than just a little red light or doing fuck all so the protagonist has to keep pressing his pass against it with differing levels of determination, unsure if it's registered would be more realistic.

If you really want a 'so shit it's good' computer horror that pulls every cliche I recommend Ghost in the Machine.

The premise is summed up by 'Incompetent doctors somehow infected the entire town's data and electrical systems with the soul of a serial killer and he's now an omnipotent killing machine.'

Worth watching the trailer just for the kid elbow dropping a virtual ghost at 1:45

[Andy147]

There's either a Simpsons or Family Guy joke where they're stuck in a jam and Homer/Peter says something like ''Don't worry, I have a foolproof method of getting out of traffic jams'' and just starts beeping the horn aggressively.

It's from Itchy and Scratchy Land.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

This thread's titles a bit off.  It should be 'film clichés that are really entertaining to spot.'

[neveragain]

Quite right!

[Phoenix Lazarus]

If a character coughs one time too many they will collapse later in the film.

Unless it is the story of Major Ingrams.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Spy in hiding has massive beard.

[olliebean]

Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

[Icehaven]

Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

Yes! Increasingly noticing things in films and TV which seem to assume it's being watched either at the cinema (ha!) or on an enormous TV, which is ironic given more and more stuff is actually being watched on tiny phone screens or tablets. And don't get me started on the inaudible speech/thundering music two seconds later thing.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Mobile phones in films in general are just shite aren't they? Especially because the model of phone dates it almost immediately, what with the pace of technology. I liked the way in the recent Twin Peaks that David Lynch tried to avoid using them wherever possible, if a landline could be feasibly used.

[olliebean]

Just reposting to fix the broken image link:

Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

[zomgmouse]

Some hardships happen..... and it's raining, too!

[Gulftastic]

Mobile phones in films in general are just shite aren't they? Especially because the model of phone dates it almost immediately, what with the pace of technology. I liked the way in the recent Twin Peaks that David Lynch tried to avoid using them wherever possible, if a landline could be feasibly used.

Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

I like it when they try and fuzz things like this by making things a bit anachronistic.

I think in The Matrix they used an outdated phone that looked futuristic. But in Primer they deliberately used the most bland nondescript handsets.

[thecuriousorange]

When they realise a vital password is probably a name of great significance (dead child etc) to the crazed individual who set up the system. Fine, but it's never the name with an additional number/punctuation mark before or after it. Or an E replaced with a 3 or anything.

[kalowski]

When they realise a vital password is probably a name of great significance (dead child etc) to the crazed individual who set up the system. Fine, but it's never the name with an additional number/punctuation mark before or after it. Or an E replaced with a 3 or anything.

JOSHUA

[olliebean]

Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

The 3310 is timeless, though.