Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 08:49:02 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Film cliches you want to fuck off

Started by popcorn, September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

gib

Quote from: kalowski on July 13, 2019, 11:37:21 PM
I'm now reading in bed, but my wife's still downstairs, so you're still not alone with this crap.

it's even worse than you thought, fucking ending is dragging on forever

magval

Jokes (or even just comments) made by (or about) teachers not making much money in American fiction.

To give a recent example, Booksmart very nicely sets up and subverts a lot of the cliches in this thread, but it still can't get past having their school principal appear in a gag about being an Uber driver to supplement his income.

Now.

Is this true of America, or is it a persistent myth? My wife's a teacher and she makes more working four days a week for ten months than I do in a year of 9 to 5. Principal salaries over here are even healthier still.

The whole gag of it doesn't seem to be 'they aren't getting paid proprtionately for the level of work, devotion and care', it just seems to be 'you're a teacher so you're poor'.

So, learn'd friends, is this true of America? Does teaching really pay badly in America, and if so, why is it so different here where, in the rural parts of Northern Ireland for example, teachers are almost - and I mean this literally - revered. While the argument that teachers are not paid adequately for the level of pressure they work under definitely holds water, that's not what this seems to be. They are the butt of jokes purely for existing.

Or is it just one of these lazy fallbacks, a cut and past gag thing?

The remake of The Day The Earth stood still was on last night. It included another giant blackboard-filling equation.

Icehaven

Quote from: gilbertharding on July 04, 2019, 03:11:58 PM
Sorry - I know you were digressing - but could you explain that again more slowly, with diagrams if necessary? My head is hurting.

Probably easier if I give them fake names. Sue and Bob are a married couple, living in Australia. Rita is Bob's Mother, who lives in the UK. Rita was over visiting for a few weeks, and one day when Sue and Bob both had to work, Sue arranged for Rita to go to the cinema for the morning, saying she'd meet her for lunch afterwards. Rita thought it was odd as she hadn't actually asked to go to the cinema but went along with it anyway. Halfway to the cinema, Rita realised she'd forgotten her mobile phone, and needed it to call Sue after the film so they could meet for lunch, so Rita returned to the house, where she found Sue packing her things. Sue was obviously shocked to see Rita, and admitted she'd just needed her to be out of the house for the morning because she was leaving Bob (who had no idea). At that moment two removal vans pulled up outside.

purlieu

Being chased by something, usually a vehicle, and never just running somewhere that it can't catch you. I remember it being on some shit Saturday evening BBC drama when I was a kid, a bloke running down this winding road through a wood with a car chasing him. Even being in single figures I remember getting angry that the guy didn't just run into the trees where the car couldn't drive. I could never work out if the 'Karma Police' video was an intentional parody of this or not.

mothman

I don't know whether this is a film cliche or just one for the Inept Film Posters thread - but it's Yesterday so what the heck. The poster - which I've only seen on the side of buses - features the two main characters side-by-side looking straight to camera. He is looking puzzled, confused and alarmed; she has a nice sexy smile and is obviously not seeing whatever he's seeing. It's crap, it's lazy, and I'm sure I've seen similar before though I can't think of where right now.

gilbertharding

Quote from: icehaven on July 14, 2019, 12:52:59 PM
Probably easier if I give them fake names. Sue and Bob are a married couple, living in Australia. Rita is Bob's Mother, who lives in the UK. Rita was over visiting for a few weeks, and one day when Sue and Bob both had to work, Sue arranged for Rita to go to the cinema for the morning, saying she'd meet her for lunch afterwards. Rita thought it was odd as she hadn't actually asked to go to the cinema but went along with it anyway. Halfway to the cinema, Rita realised she'd forgotten her mobile phone, and needed it to call Sue after the film so they could meet for lunch, so Rita returned to the house, where she found Sue packing her things. Sue was obviously shocked to see Rita, and admitted she'd just needed her to be out of the house for the morning because she was leaving Bob (who had no idea). At that moment two removal vans pulled up outside.

That helped massively, thanks. Blimey.

bgmnts

Quote from: magval on July 14, 2019, 10:01:35 AM
Jokes (or even just comments) made by (or about) teachers not making much money in American fiction.

To give a recent example, Booksmart very nicely sets up and subverts a lot of the cliches in this thread, but it still can't get past having their school principal appear in a gag about being an Uber driver to supplement his income.

Now.

Is this true of America, or is it a persistent myth? My wife's a teacher and she makes more working four days a week for ten months than I do in a year of 9 to 5. Principal salaries over here are even healthier still.

The whole gag of it doesn't seem to be 'they aren't getting paid proprtionately for the level of work, devotion and care', it just seems to be 'you're a teacher so you're poor'.

So, learn'd friends, is this true of America? Does teaching really pay badly in America, and if so, why is it so different here where, in the rural parts of Northern Ireland for example, teachers are almost - and I mean this literally - revered. While the argument that teachers are not paid adequately for the level of pressure they work under definitely holds water, that's not what this seems to be. They are the butt of jokes purely for existing.

Or is it just one of these lazy fallbacks, a cut and past gag thing?

To be fair being a teacher in Northern Ireland is probably the equivalent of being a bricklayer or a village idiot here.

magval


St_Eddie

Quote from: magval on July 15, 2019, 02:27:17 PM
Where's 'here'?

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere
Anywhere alone
Anywhere alone

zomgmouse


neveragain

"That sounds like a you problem."

QDRPHNC

Quote from: mothman on April 21, 2019, 05:09:47 PM
That's the one. But it's the unlikely nature of the dialogue that sealed it for me. "Goddamn street racers?" Who even says "Goddamn" anymore?

That bit just screamed "director cameo".

Main character getting absolutely beaten/stabbed/shot to fuck during a final battle but being absolutely fine when the baddie's finally dead. Yeah, I'll just walk away with my broken leg and punctured lung. Maybe get a kiss off my girlfriend who's showing no psychological ill effect from being kidnapped.

Piggyoioi

Sex scenes where women are still wearing their bra's. FUCK OFF. Show me the tits please.

Icehaven

There's a search, and a character anticipating something being found in a particular place, but the searcher opens/uncovers the particular place and...it's not there (usually because someone else has moved it.)

lipsink

In sci-fi or horror films the baddie will take the form of a family member (a dead one perhaps) to lure a protagonist towards them. It will seem as if the protagonist is falling for it but at the last minute their facial expression will change as they come to their senses and they'll say something like "You're not my mother!"

Sin Agog

People coming up for air, taking a single breath, then diving back down again.  I do free-diving a few times a week, and I've never not hung back and let my heart rate balance out before going back down again.  You especially would if you're in a dive-or-death situation 'cause you're trapped in a cave or something.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Sin Agog on July 25, 2019, 10:11:51 PM
I do free-diving a few times a week, and I've never not hung back and let my heart rate balance out before going back down again.

Alright, calm down, Guybrush Threepwood!

Icehaven

Not exactly a cliché as such, but when they start talking about sport or 'the game' in American films (usually for a male bonding moment), I'm sure I'm far from the only non-American to never have a clue if it's American football, baseball or basketball that they're talking about. I mean it'll be one of the three of course, but lines like ''Kowalski took it all the way, put that linebacker forward over the pass, pitched it straight, slammed it home, it was beautiful.'' give literally nothing away. In suppose British films have the same problem with football/cricket/rugby, although at least with ours 90% of the time it'll be football (unless the characters are supposed to be extremely posh, in which case it'll be one of the other two.)

kalowski

Quote from: icehaven on July 26, 2019, 08:56:47 AM
Not exactly a cliché as such, but when they start talking about sport or 'the game' in American films (usually for a male bonding moment), I'm sure I'm far from the only non-American to never have a clue if it's American football, baseball or basketball that they're talking about. I mean it'll be one of the three of course, but lines like ''Kowalski took it all the way, put that linebacker forward over the pass, pitched it straight, slammed it home, it was beautiful.'' give literally nothing away. In suppose British films have the same problem with football/cricket/rugby, although at least with ours 90% of the time it'll be football (unless the characters are supposed to be extremely posh, in which case it'll be one of the other two.)
"He's batting oh four five two"
"I called in the pinch hitter"
... countless others

Blumf

Humm... has there ever been a scene where the writer has deliberately made it vague about the sport being talked about?

Icehaven

Quote from: Blumf on July 26, 2019, 01:10:10 PM
Humm... has there ever been a scene where the writer has deliberately made it vague about the sport being talked about?

Probably. There's probably also been some pisstake where there's three people in the conversation and they gradually realise they're each talking about different sports.

lipsink

There's a scene where a character laughs way too much at something someone says cos they fancy them.

purlieu

Oh I've seen plenty of American stuff - more often TV than film, admittedly - where I have absolutely no idea what sport they're talking about. I don't mind most of the time as I wouldn't really care even if I did know.

An old witchy woman will address children as "My pretty" in a creepy, threatening voice.


holyzombiejesus

When the climax to a film, usually a horror, happens at the town fair.

olliebean

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on July 27, 2019, 12:32:10 AM
When the climax to a film, usually a horror, happens at the town fair.

Bonus points if a hall of mirrors is involved. At least one of which will be smashed at some point.

Yep.

Quote from: thecuriousorange on June 28, 2019, 08:51:08 AM
A damaged character with a fractured mindset will have their face reflected multiple times across a cracked-up mirror. Can we retire this one now?