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Film cliches you want to fuck off

Started by popcorn, September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM

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Jaich

The ancient wooden door creak noise that does not relate to the clean, newly-installed door in shot.

I usually accept film as real in its own realm but this practice reminds me that, even when hundreds of people have worked so hard to create a viable, living world, some lazy arsehole can wreck it all by dredging up the most obvious and common sound effect from a public domain library and puncture the illusion with no consideration whatsoever.

Clownbaby

Another sound effect habit I hate (maybe not a stock effect every time but still) is how most inhuman abominations in horror films have that dinosaur-y, sometimes almost hog-squealy roar, even if it doesn't suit how the abomination looks. It's a very familiar sound effect that again pulls you right out of the moment because that looming mysteriously disfigured spectre you were dreading all this time sounds exactly like a low quality CGI T Rex when it actually attacks

Clownbaby

Also I may have put this here before or else I'm mixing up with Reddit, but in zombie films where the characters don't actually have any prior knowledge of zombies for some reason so they call them ''those...things'' and there's always a pause before ''things''. It's not even that they don't call them zombies. If you see a dead maybe rabid human being walking around surely you wouldn't think of them as a ''thing'' if it had all just started happening. It just doesn't feel natural but you can tell the writers thought it would seem more natural than saying the word ''zombie''

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Clownbaby on May 19, 2020, 12:25:39 AM
Also I may have put this here before or else I'm mixing up with Reddit, but in zombie films where the characters don't actually have any prior knowledge of zombies for some reason so they call them ''those...things'' and there's always a pause before ''things''. It's not even that they don't call them zombies. If you see a dead maybe rabid human being walking around surely you wouldn't think of them as a ''thing'' if it had all just started happening. It just doesn't feel natural but you can tell the writers thought it would seem more natural than saying ghe word ''zombie''

I think a lot of it's all homage to Night of the Living Dead which did do that but changed the pace a bit from earlier hammier horrors featuring them. Wank though, nonetheless.

The odd alien film got away with it, although I'd think it was a bit on the nose if was done now.

Clownbaby

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 19, 2020, 12:33:51 AM
I think a lot of it's all homage to Night of the Living Dead which did do that but changed the pace a bit from earlier hammier horrors featuring them. Wank though, nonetheless.

The odd alien film got away with it, although I'd think it was a bit on the nose if was done now.

I think this might be a problem horror has as a genre in particular, come to think of it. So many horror writers and directors are in love with the classic tropes and homage them constantly to try and get the same magic in their own films and then someone else homages the homage, then we've got a cliché on our hands

Jim Bob

Quote from: Clownbaby on May 19, 2020, 12:42:04 AM
I think this might be a problem horror has as a genre in particular, come to think of it. So many horror writers and directors are in love with the classic tropes and homage them constantly to try and get the same magic in their own films and then someone else homages the homage, then we've got a cliché on our hands

I wish that they'd stop referring to draculas as "vampires", "nightwalkers", "bloodsuckers" and the like.  Just call them what they are; draculas.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Clownbaby on May 19, 2020, 12:42:04 AM
I think this might be a problem horror has as a genre in particular, come to think of it. So many horror writers and directors are in love with the classic tropes and homage them constantly to try and get the same magic in their own films and then someone else homages the homage, then we've got a cliché on our hands
Yeah exactly. Several layers of ambition outweighing ability and all charm is lost.

chveik

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 19, 2020, 12:50:44 AM
I wish that they'd stop referring to draculas as "vampires", "nightwalkers", "bloodsuckers" and the like.  Just call them what they are; draculas.

not sure about that, there is only one Count Darkela.

JesusAndYourBush

Lights coming on sequentially along a corridor, and making a metallic clack sound when each one comes on.
Saw it in The Maze Runner tonight but it's been used in loads of other things.

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on May 19, 2020, 01:53:33 AM
Lights coming on sequentially along a corridor, and making a metallic clack sound when each one comes on.
Saw it in The Maze Runner tonight but it's been used in loads of other things.
I want the lights in my house to do that.

kalowski

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on May 19, 2020, 11:29:42 AM
I want the lights in my house to do that.
It happened once in our smoking room at work (when you were allowed such rooms). Funny thing was it happened just as one bloke left, so we all shouted "Billie Jean!" at him.

Sebastian Cobb

Some buildings with sensor lights do that now, minus the clack. Of course if the place is empty enough to allow it to happen you also get to experience the 'square of light above me in a dark place' thing too.

kalowski

Not really a cliche, but I hate the way American landlines have these fucking massive leads. People seem to be able to walk ten miles on the phone with the cables just trailing behind them. When I was a kid our land land had a radius of about 50cm.

olliebean

A student, normally rubbish at maths, turns out to be an instinctive maths genius when it comes to calculating betting odds or other sports-related statistics.

"Well what are we waiting for?"

*music swells*

kalowski

Quote from: olliebean on June 07, 2020, 07:17:38 AM
A student, normally rubbish at maths, turns out to be an instinctive maths genius when it comes to calculating betting odds or other sports-related statistics.
Or they solve a complex problem by claiming "it's just like the betting odds. Here, I do this...and this...and bingo!"

JesusAndYourBush

I'm sick of hearing that same bullet ricochet sound effect.

Also shooting at a door lock to magically open it.   You're less likely to be able to get the door open after shooting it : the bolt is still in the lock but now you've ruined the mechanism.

popcorn

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on June 08, 2020, 02:55:59 PM
You're less likely to be able to get the door open after shooting it : the bolt is still in the lock but now you've ruined the mechanism.

Would be a brilliant Partridge observation.

purlieu

The worst sound effect one is something I've probably mentioned twice in this thread already, but it's the fucking computer noises. Text coming on screen is always soundtracked by a typing-style noise, pop up windows always have a swipe sound, etc. NO COMPUTERS DO THIS. Brings me straight out of the reality of it straight away.
Imagine if computers actually did that, made all that noise all the time. You'd end up throwing it out of the window after six minutes because it was so annoying.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 18, 2020, 10:17:22 PM
The fridge thing was ridiculous but at least it was daft. I loathe the car flying into the helicopter in the die hard reboot lots more.
The car into helicopter was the best moment of the movie. Die Hard should be about Bruce Willis being outgunned and improvising improbable and dangerous ways to blow shit up. It's not entirely unbelievable - in a crash a car can fly a long way - and Justin Long is suitably incredulous after.

All the armed warehouse face-offs and betrayals and someone pulling a gun on someone only for a different person to pull a gun on them in turn, they're the really shit cliches in the film. Someone you don't care about is a traitor? Everyone has a hidden agenda they're waiting for just before the adverts to spring on the hero? Who gives a fuck? Blow shit up and make jokes, John!

Brundle-Fly

A character trying to work out a personal password to hack into somebody else's computer and usually nailing it after a few tries. eg: You, Black Mirror. Extra points if they're eating/ drinking coffee while attempting this.

Sometimes the reveal is so obvious. It's like if 007 was trying to infiltrate Goldfinger's laptop; typing away, muttering to himself, "What does Goldfinger love? Golf? *tippity tappity* Nope. Lasers? *tippity tappity* Nope. Ok, a long shot...Oddjob...*tippity tappity* Definitely not. He loves only...? He loves only...? Wait a minute....*tippity tappity*. G.O.L.D."

YOU HAVE ACCESS

Even Goldfinger would at least save it as gOLd1962 at the very simplest.

magval

Locked after three goes, as well.

kalowski

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on June 09, 2020, 11:25:13 AM
A character trying to work out a personal password to hack into somebody else's computer and usually nailing it after a few tries. eg: You, Black Mirror. Extra points if they're eating/ drinking coffee while attempting this.

Sometimes the reveal is so obvious. It's like if 007 was trying to infiltrate Goldfinger's laptop; typing away, muttering to himself, "What does Goldfinger love? Golf? *tippity tappity* Nope. Lasers? *tippity tappity* Nope. Ok, a long shot...Oddjob...*tippity tappity* Definitely not. He loves only...? He loves only...? Wait a minute....*tippity tappity*. G.O.L.D."

YOU HAVE ACCESS

Even Goldfinger would at least save it as gOLd1962 at the very simplest.
This happened on a show my kids were watching. "Hmm. Try WaterIsLife"
No. Sorry, it's is 3rT_(Ty^u9

Icehaven

Quote from: Clownbaby on May 19, 2020, 12:25:39 AM
Also I may have put this here before or else I'm mixing up with Reddit, but in zombie films where the characters don't actually have any prior knowledge of zombies for some reason so they call them ''those...things'' and there's always a pause before ''things''. It's not even that they don't call them zombies. If you see a dead maybe rabid human being walking around surely you wouldn't think of them as a ''thing'' if it had all just started happening. It just doesn't feel natural but you can tell the writers thought it would seem more natural than saying the word ''zombie''

Not quite on topic but in the 2010 film Monsters, which is set in a world where alien life has come to Earth and is kept in large quarantine zone, there's a scene where some characters are passing through the zone, as in they're right in the middle of this area where all the aliens live, and they keep hearing strange noises and saying "What is that?" Well what do you fecking think it is?

olliebean

In real life, the most common passwords are things like "password", "qwerty", and "1234567890". Except in comedies, where it's always some naive side character suggesting it over the hacker's shoulder, you never see them trying those.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on June 09, 2020, 11:25:13 AM
A character trying to work out a personal password to hack into somebody else's computer and usually nailing it after a few tries. eg: You, Black Mirror. Extra points if they're eating/ drinking coffee while attempting this.

Sometimes the reveal is so obvious. It's like if 007 was trying to infiltrate Goldfinger's laptop; typing away, muttering to himself, "What does Goldfinger love? Golf? *tippity tappity* Nope. Lasers? *tippity tappity* Nope. Ok, a long shot...Oddjob...*tippity tappity* Definitely not. He loves only...? He loves only...? Wait a minute....*tippity tappity*. G.O.L.D."

YOU HAVE ACCESS

Even Goldfinger would at least save it as gOLd1962 at the very simplest.

I saw this most recently on the new Invisible Man fillum. Yer main character woman is trying to figure out the code on her abusive husband's keypad - of course it's her third guess, the date they met or first shagged or something.

paruses

People being sick when they come to a realisation of something terrible. Seems everywhere now. Maybe everyone does it but if I suddenly realise my partner is a serial killer or I have transferred 2 grand to the wrong bank account[nb]one of these is a real life example[/nb] my bowels become a lot looser. Not as cool having the main character needing a shower and a change of clothes rather than some cold water splashed on their face, I suppose.

kalowski

"He's the best of the best. Graduated top of his class. Summa cum laude."

Icehaven

I'm sure it must have already been mentioned in the thread but someone starting to make a speech they'd carefully planned and written down, then haltingly stopping before throwing the written speech away, possibly with some comment like "You know I was going to say all this, but..." before coming up with a speech off the top of their head that's far more heartfelt and genuine.

lipsink

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on June 10, 2020, 08:34:24 AM
I saw this most recently on the new Invisible Man fillum. Yer main character woman is trying to figure out the code on her abusive husband's keypad - of course it's her third guess, the date they met or first shagged or something.

Often they'll look at a framed picture that is sitting next to the computer they're trying to hack into.