Film cliches you want to fuck off

[Gulftastic]

The best example of this business is by Leslie Dwyer as Mr Partridge in Hi-Di-Hi when he witnesses a panto horse riding a horse.

Indeed. I've looked for the clip but to no avail.

[JesusAndYourBush]

the man who checks the strength of the wine he's drinking

I like it when they guy throws something else away and keeps the wine.  I've seen one with someone with a sandwich in one hand and a glass in the other, and throws away the sandwich.  Or throws away the glass, then takes a massive swig from the bottle.

[Magnum Valentino]

Lister measuring out the perfect amount of curry powder, then discarding it and using the much larger remainder to make his kebab.

[Brundle-Fly]

Indeed. I've looked for the clip but to no avail.

Me as well.

Bizarre.

This footage was always the go-to 'Del Boy falling through the bar funniest comedy moment ever' at one time.  Dave Jason must've had words.

[Starlit]

Male computer hackers are always pale, shabby looking social misfits, wheras female hackers are always extremely attractive.

[samadriel]

Lister measuring out the perfect amount of curry powder, then discarding it and using the much larger remainder to make his kebab.

Also seen when Bernard Black fixes himself a coffee.

[lipsink]

In a cop drama someone will call the deceased person something insensitive like "the body" then someone will go:

"The body? The body?? This person had a name, ya hear me?"

[AsparagusTrevor]

In a cop drama someone will call the deceased person something insensitive like "the body" then someone will go:

"The body? The body?? This person had a name, ya hear me?"

"Elle Macpherson"

[EOLAN]

Male computer hackers are always pale, shabby looking social misfits, wheras female hackers are always extremely attractive.

Guess it is before the cliché came into being and hackers being a major thing; but the Die Hard hacker is a pretty cool black guy oozing self-confidence.

[purlieu]

Also seen when Bernard Black fixes himself a coffee.

That one works so well because he pours the water into the coffee jar, though. A great visual gag.
Even as a kid I found the curry powder gag in Polymorph pretty lame.

[BlodwynPig]

I enjoyed Chucklevision's take on 'finding the key'

Was chuckle vision always this good? (watched a bit further and its brilliant)

[samadriel]

That one works so well because he pours the water into the coffee jar, though. A great visual gag.

Oh yeah, I'm not knocking it. Just... participating.

[purlieu]

Was chuckle vision always this good? (watched a bit further and its brilliant)

It was patchy, but the middle years were genuinely excellent at times. Most episodes have at least one genuine belly-laugh.

[lipsink]

One I've noticed they do in some films is when a character gets shot and you think they die. Then at the end of the film they'll surprise you by appearing again like they'll be the best man at the hero's wedding or something. The hero will be having a silly conversation with someone offscreen and the camera will pan back to reveal it's the person you thought died. It's kind of like

Spoiler alert

Karl

[close]

in Die Hard but done in a more feel good way.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Modernish films where someone uses a DSLR and it has a click-whirr sound effect of a film camera added.

The Wire and its French counterpart Spiral were both bad for this.

[Dex Sawash]

Modernish films where someone uses a DSLR and it has a click-whirr sound effect of a film camera added.

The Wire and its French counterpart Spiral were both bad for this.

What's all that shutter noise about when they take pictures of. the president?

[PlanktonSideburns]

A character punching a mirror out of anger and then looking into the fractured glass with a "What am I?/ What have I become?" tortured expression in their eyes.

Once punched a light fitting in in my house, staring at the dangly wires, had a word with myself

It's not as cool if it's just a light fitting somehow is it? It's just a manbaby fucking up his deposit

[Phoenix Lazarus]

A character punching a mirror out of anger and then looking into the fractured glass with a "What am I?/ What have I become?" tortured expression in their eyes.

And never afterwards staggering around shouting 'oh fuck,' shaking their bleeding hand everywhere.

[Mobius]

They did the broken mirror to reflect a fractured character cliche twice in Gangs of London...

[Brundle-Fly]

This dialogue.

"We need to talk. Alone."

"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him/her/them."

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned him already, but that drunk cunt who witnesses something improbable, then stares at the bottle.

I'm watching a download of the Aristocats.  That's just happened as some cats run past a cafe, apparently chased by a mouse.

[Dave The Triffids]

I'm sure this must have been mentioned but I've neglected to trawl through all the previous pages:

Someone with no aparrent hairdressing experience cuts their own hair using just a pair of child's safety scissors and a dingy bathroom mirror and the resulting cut looks fucking perfect.

[gilbertharding]

This dialogue.

"We need to talk. Alone."

"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him/her/them."

"I know we've gone over this before, but would you mind explaining it again for the benefit of the audience?"

[El Unicornio, mang]

When someone takes a photo or video of something but then they show the photo or video and it's just a screenshot or clip that we've already just watched (which doesn't make sense anyway since it would be a completely different angle), but in black and white or with "REC" in the corner to try and fool us.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

"I know this is none of my business, but..."

"You're right - it is none of your business."

[gilbertharding]

When someone takes a photo or video of something but then they show the photo or video and it's just a screenshot or clip that we've already just watched (which doesn't make sense anyway since it would be a completely different angle), but in black and white or with "REC" in the corner to try and fool us.

I thought this sort of stuff had got better recently, out of necessity now we're all more sophisticated about camera angles etc, as well as much more used to cctv, surveillance, not to mention all of us having our own video cameras in our pockets the whole time - but obviously impossible cctv footage used to be a staple of even quite expensive films (James Bond) as well as cheapo Avengerland ITC stuff.

[Dex Sawash]

I'm sure this must have been mentioned but I've neglected to trawl through all the previous pages:

Someone with no aparrent hairdressing experience cuts their own hair using just a pair of child's safety scissors and a dingy bathroom mirror and the resulting cut looks fucking perfect.

They butcher Franka Potente's hair in the 1st Bourne movie but she looks great anyway[nb]because she is a great actor, not because I Phwoarr'd[/nb]

[Bently Sheds]

"Give us the room" when the important character needs to talk secrets with a subordinate in a busy office.

Sometimes prefixed with: "Can I have a word," glares pointedly at third character, "in private?"

[frajer]

"Give us the room" when the important character needs to talk secrets with a subordinate in a busy office.

Sometimes prefixed with: "Can I have a word," glares pointedly at third character, "in private?"

Can't for the life of me remember what film this happened in, but there was a scene when this exact trope was subverted and the third wheel said, "Oh. Well you two should go somewhere else then" and then cracked on with his work.

I have a feeling it wasn't a great film but I enjoyed that moment.

[dissolute ocelot]

I'm sure this must have been mentioned but I've neglected to trawl through all the previous pages:

Someone with no aparrent hairdressing experience cuts their own hair using just a pair of child's safety scissors and a dingy bathroom mirror and the resulting cut looks fucking perfect.

There's also a lot of films where someone on the run manages to dye their hair without missing a bit or getting dye everywhere all over the bathroom, their hands, face, and neck. I know adults who've dyed their hair every month for most of their adult life and aren't as good as your typical runaway Harrison Ford type doing it for the first time.