Film cliches you want to fuck off

[famethrowa]

Here's two movie shorthand cliches that probably rarely happen in real life:

- wearing sunglasses into work/class/lab because you're hungover

- bereaved ladies wearing an enormous floppy black hat to a funeral

[beanheadmcginty]

Shooting a CCTV camera somehow wipes all footage of whatever this particular camera has ever recorded, despite all CCTV having a centralised recording station.

[mothman]

And - this has to have been done already - shooting a futuristic SF door's lock control panel will cause it to stop working (obviously) but completely lock it, and never have some short circuit cause it to UNlock.

[Sebastian Cobb]

How often do car radiator hoses go? I don't know anyone it had happened to, but they often serve as a temporary failure that keeps someone somewhere while it gets fixed.

[mothman]

Maybe it's an American thing. Too-large engines, harder to cool..?

[Blumf]

Thought it was always the fan belt breaking, necessitating the leading lady to take off a stocking to use as a makeshift replacement.

[samadriel]

And - this has to have been done already - shooting a futuristic SF door's lock control panel will cause it to stop working (obviously) but completely lock it, and never have some short circuit cause it to UNlock.

Hang on, doesn't shooting the lock always cause the door to open? I literally don't think I've ever seen otherwise.

[rectorofstiffkey]

Hang on, doesn't shooting the lock always cause the door to open? I literally don't think I've ever seen otherwise.

It depends.  If the heroes want to get through the door, shooting the lock makes them open.  When they are in a room that they want to prevent the bad guys/aliens/cyborgs entering, it makes them stay shut.

[mothman]

^what he said.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Whether the doors fail open or locked is all configurable in the building management system (BMS) of your evil lair.

[mothman]

Yes but they don't always have time to go right click, settings, preferences...

[Sebastian Cobb]

Have we done blase/overly cheerful/wise-cracking mortician yet?

[Brundle-Fly]

High school classroom scene must include a student passing a note to another and for the teacher to say, "Do you have something to share with us, Mr.Young Lead?". This has more recently been usurped by secret texting with a "woop" notification sound even though most people have that on silent mode now.

Extra points if the tutor asks a distracted class member a tough question that the character answers commendably with extra insight. A jock or mean girl will sneer, the pretty new girl will smile. The bell will ring at this point and everybody jumps up as if their chairs have 10,000 volts running through them. The teacher will ask the lead character to wait after.

Who ya gonna take to the prom?
 

[mothman]

Have we done blase/overly cheerful/wise-cracking mortician yet?

Or coroner. Who's eating an overflowing sandwich while standing over the corpse delivering the results of his autopsy.

[Brundle-Fly]

Or coroner. Who's eating an overflowing sandwich while standing over the corpse delivering the results of his autopsy.

He will say at some point. "I've never seen anything like this before."

Or

"These wounds werent made by a human"

[rectorofstiffkey]

Have we done blase/overly cheerful/wise-cracking mortician yet?

often deployed with his/her fellow stereotype, the Queasy Police Officer.

[monkfromhavana]

He will say at some point. "I've never seen anything like this before."

Or

"These wounds werent made by a human"

Police officers immediately delving into a random bag of white powder to rub it into their gums. Then, always saying "coke". They never say "Anthrax" then keel over.

[mothman]

I'm fairly certain that if I just ground up paracetamol and tasted some, I'd not notice any difference to cocaine (well, not initially)!

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm fairly certain that if I just ground up paracetamol and tasted some, I'd not notice any difference to cocaine (well, not initially)!

I believe they're looking for a numbing sensation, but then certain bulking agents are chosen because they do the same thing.

[mothman]

"Sorry, sarge, I thought these were cocaine lozenges - but they're just Strepsils."

[Magnum Valentino]

No one ever mentions Janus without pointing out that he's the two faced Roman God of whatever immediately afterwards upon finding his likeness or a bust or statue or something like that.

Or on Sean Bean!

[AsparagusTrevor]

Police officers immediately delving into a random bag of white powder to rub it into their gums. Then, always saying "coke". They never say "Anthrax" then keel over.

Criminals on the other hand will always sample it with a knife (bonus points if it's a switchblade) stabbed into the package, then a quick snort off the blade.

[dissolute ocelot]

How often do car radiator hoses go? I don't know anyone it had happened to, but they often serve as a temporary failure that keeps someone somewhere while it gets fixed.

Does this produce lots of steam? You need visually striking faults, not a dodgy clutch.

[Magnum Valentino]

A map overlaid on top of travel shots with a slowly increasing red line linking towns.

Commentary tracks where they correct themselves for signalling spoilers because who's going to listen to the commentary first?

[Brundle-Fly]

Documentary cliche. The interviewee sits into frame and looks pensively down the barrel. Extra points if they say "Are we ready?" before the interview commences.

[mothman]

Or include the clapperboard. Or even just clap their hands. Yes, we get it, this has been professionally recorded. We don't think the little person is talking to us directly from the little box they live in in the corner of our living room.

[Blumf]

Documentary cliche. The interviewee sits into frame and looks pensively down the barrel. Extra points if they say "Are we ready?" before the interview commences.

Oh yes, all that highlighting the artifice of docu interviews. Just fucking edit it properly you tossers!

[greencalx]

Snapping a laptop shut after reading an email / doing a web search / watching a few seconds of video instead of only just before packing it into a bag like everyone else.

[Brundle-Fly]

Or include the clapperboard. Or even just clap their hands. Yes, we get it, this has been professionally recorded. We don't think the little person is talking to us directly from the little box they live in in the corner of our living room.

Ha ha, yes!  I think this was BBC2's Forty Minutes series that initiated this trend?

[St_Eddie]

A map overlaid on top of travel shots with a slowly increasing red line linking towns.

That's just Indiana Jones, innit?