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Film cliches you want to fuck off

Started by popcorn, September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM

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jobotic

"For fuck's sake, that orange juice had to last another week and you've poured the whole lot into that jug, which, by the way, has been in that cupboard for about two years and needed a wash. And where did you get that shirt? It doesn't fit you and last time I wore it I was clearing cat shit out of the flower beds. Did you fish it out of the washing machine? I think you'd better go. I need a dump anyway."



Fucking new page nonsense.

olliebean

Quote from: Pinckle Wicker on October 03, 2017, 03:09:56 PM
I always think when they toss a mobile phone out of a car or throw into siding when they are finished with it is not the best means of disposal. Someone could easily pick it up at the side of road or whatnot and then they would get caught. Maybe that is just me though.

Tossing guns away when they run out of bullets always bothered me more.

mothman

Always a parking space - in fact usually there are no other cars - right outside where they need to go.

Solid Jim

Six months later

Just once, can't it be five or seven months?

Crime lab staff/FBI computer boffins being able to zoom in on a blocky low-res image and "enhance' it with magic software. This creates new pixels that were never there to begin with and impossible HD detail.
It is hastily explained with a few meaningless mumbo-jumbo techy sounding terms and buzzwords.

Do they still do this? I remember first baulking at it happening in some 90s X Files episode. You can see in the clip it's been pretty rife.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxq9yj2pVWk

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: thecuriousorange on October 04, 2017, 08:47:39 PM
Crime lab staff/FBI computer boffins being able to zoom in on a blocky low-res image and "enhance' it with magic software. This creates new pixels that were never there to begin with and impossible HD detail.
It is hastily explained with a few meaningless mumbo-jumbo techy sounding terms and buzzwords.

Do they still do this? I remember first baulking at it happening in some 90s X Files episode. You can see in the clip it's been pretty rife.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxq9yj2pVWk

https://youtu.be/KiqkclCJsZs

Another one is facial/fingerprint recognition where it quickly scrolls through the images to compare them. Image comparison doesn't work like that and even if it did it'd take much longer if it had to draw the images each time, especially in the early 90's.


Unconfirmed. But I'd vector in on that guy's illumination algorithm, if I had an enhancer that could bitmap.

MoleStation

Quote from: thecuriousorange on October 04, 2017, 08:47:39 PM
Crime lab staff/FBI computer boffins being able to zoom in on a blocky low-res image and "enhance' it with magic software. This creates new pixels that were never there to begin with and impossible HD detail.
It is hastily explained with a few meaningless mumbo-jumbo techy
sounding terms and buzzwords.

Do they still do this? I remember first baulking at it happening in some 90s X Files episode. You can see in the clip it's been pretty rife.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxq9yj2pVWk


(The) Viz did a one off piss take called CSI Bollox or something similar

Konki

Another camera-based one, and I'm not even sure it'd be classed as a cliche, but it always pisses me off, is when some action happens then later on in the film someone is watching it back on cctv except the cctv footage is exactly the same as what we saw earlier; same camera angles, same panning and zooming. Just shoot if from ONE OTHER ANGLE, you lazy fucks. Occasionally they'll put a filter on it to make it look a bit fuzzy but that is frankly insulting my intelligence.

Blumf

Hah, yeah they had a particularly bad example of that in Star Trek 6 - The Undiscovered Country when, in the trial of Kirk, they show 'surveillance' footage of stuff that happened in ST3, using the actual ST3 film. The main question would be, who the fuck, in universe, was filming all that at the time?

ASFTSN

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 25, 2017, 02:36:33 PM
Phone rings.
Seriously man answers phone with a barely audible grunt.
Other party delivers critical info.
Serious man hangs up without so much as a thankyou or goodbye.


I came here to post this.  I've always assumed it's because manners are gay and unmanly and so mainstream films don't want to confuse the audience by inadvertently introducing a plot twist where manly ungay action man is for some reason not manly.

mothman

Quote from: Blumf on October 05, 2017, 09:41:29 AM
Hah, yeah they had a particularly bad example of that in Star Trek 6 - The Undiscovered Country when, in the trial of Kirk, they show 'surveillance' footage of stuff that happened in ST3, using the actual ST3 film. The main question would be, who the fuck, in universe, was filming all that at the time?

You're misremembering. In ST6 it's just audio they use; you're thinking of ST3 itself, where they use the footage of Spock's death from ST2 as "log footage" to reveal he transferred his katra to McCoy.

Blumf

Quote from: mothman on October 05, 2017, 09:47:59 AM
You're misremembering. In ST6 it's just audio they use; you're thinking of ST3 itself, where they use the footage of Spock's death from ST2 as "log footage" to reveal he transferred his katra to McCoy.

I probably am, but I'd swear they did use the ST3 footage in 6. Either way, it was a terrible cheap thing.

Brundle-Fly

Similar to the enhance that cliche is the "play me that recording again" cliche where the protagonists listen to a recording where they either slow it down/ play backwards to hear some distress call/ aliens burbling or demonic growls/incantations. Or the sound of a particular streetcar/ factory noise/ loud fart in the background that could only be heard in a specific part of town where the kidnapped victim is being held.

Brundle-Fly

To meet someone you fancy at High school, you must turn round and accidentally bump into them by your locker* and knock all their exercise books, pens and loose papers out their hands.

*It is also compulsory (if you're a nerd/ new kid) to have something unsavoury placed in your locker by the school jock at some point. He always has three other bastard friends that stand behind him who don't say as much. Oh, and a beautiful blonde cheerleader chewing gum must be sneering along too. Then, a bell must ring.

ASFTSN

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on October 05, 2017, 12:24:08 PM
Similar to the enhance that cliche is the "play me that recording again" cliche where the protagonists listen to a recording where they either slow it down/ play backwards to hear some distress call/ aliens burbling or demonic growls/incantations. Or the sound of a particular streetcar/ factory noise/ loud fart in the background that could only be heard in a specific part of town where the kidnapped victim is being held.

This is done well/convincingly in The Conversation though.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on October 05, 2017, 12:24:08 PM
Similar to the enhance that cliche is the "play me that recording again" cliche where the protagonists listen to a recording where they either slow it down/ play backwards to hear some distress call/ aliens burbling or demonic growls/incantations. Or the sound of a particular streetcar/ factory noise/ loud fart in the background that could only be heard in a specific part of town where the kidnapped victim is being held.

Member in sneakers though when the blind guy plays road noises to the guy that was blindfolded so they can figure out where they took him? That was good.

https://youtu.be/KuIheGaiFLM

mothman

^Probably one of my favourite films. Or guilty-pleasure watches, anyway.

Sebastian Cobb

Mine too. Definitely stands up better than a lot of 80's/90's hacker films.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on October 05, 2017, 02:41:51 PM
Member in sneakers though when the blind guy plays road noises to the guy that was blindfolded so they can figure out where they took him? That was good.

https://youtu.be/KuIheGaiFLM

There was a similar device in an old episode of The Persuaders when one of them is kidnapped, blindfolded, bundled into to the back of a car and taken to a hideout. The character remembers how to get there by tracing all the stuff he heard on the journey and at what time. One of the sounds was a schoolgirl running a branch along some railings. Ridiculous but also fabulous.

mothman

Which one, though? Curtis' character I could see gettting kidnapped easily, but not having a good enough memory to remember all that detail afterwards. Moore's would, but I can't see him getting kidnapped.

Brundle-Fly

Tony Curtis. Looking through the various episode synopsis it appeared his character, Danny or somebody was getting kidnapped every other episode.

FredNurke

I seem to recall that Police Squad! has an amusing take on the 'identify a place by background noise' thing.

Urinal Cake

More a television trope but when a comedy resorts to  a 'street' version of something highbrow for laughs.  Like spelling in Frasier or Countdown in the IT Crowd.

Dr Rock

Quote from: FredNurke on October 06, 2017, 12:53:20 AM
I seem to recall that Police Squad! has an amusing take on the 'identify a place by background noise' thing.

Yup. And Paul Merton was doing the 'roll that back and enhance - which is impossible' cliche back in the 80s.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Dr Rock on October 06, 2017, 07:41:57 AM
Yup. And Paul Merton was doing the 'roll that back and enhance - which is impossible' cliche back in the 80s.

And here's that very routine. He pretty much sums up all the classic American cop show cliches in five minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE8ia-R7xT0

dr beat

One that the Fast Show nicely skewered was the one where a young inexperienced performer has to suddenly fill in at the last minute and steals the show.  Although admittedly I can't actually recall any films in which that happens.

zomgmouse

Quote from: dr beat on October 06, 2017, 11:14:46 AM
One that the Fast Show nicely skewered was the one where a young inexperienced performer has to suddenly fill in at the last minute and steals the show.  Although admittedly I can't actually recall any films in which that happens.

42nd Street is basically that.

Ignatius_S

Quote from: dr beat on October 06, 2017, 11:14:46 AM
One that the Fast Show nicely skewered was the one where a young inexperienced performer has to suddenly fill in at the last minute and steals the show.  Although admittedly I can't actually recall any films in which that happens.

I think a big reason the sketch works so well is that subverts expectation. In these types of films, by the time that the person steps into the star's shoes, the audience knows how brilliant they are; also, sometimes the 'newcomer' is actually quite experienced but hasn't been given a break yet.

As to examples of films:

42nd Street is the one that The Fast Show was modelling the sketch on. In the film/musical, a chorus girl has to take over from the inured leading lady, which is used in the sketch and even, IIRC, the same injury (a broken ankle) is cited; the show also lifts the lines 'you're going out a youngster, but have to come back a star'.

As per above, it's established well before the end of the film that the chorus girl is a great talent. In fact, the injured leading lady tells the director that the chorus girl will be able to make the show a success, rather than someone else being proposed.

Another example would be A Night at The Opera. Allan Young's character takes over the starring role in Il Trovatore mid-performance on the opening night after the Marx Brothers kidnap the star, Lassparri. It's shown early in the film that Young is stuck in the chorus but is a great talent and when Sig Ruman hears him singing from the docks, is clearly impressed but basically tells Elsa that he needs to make a name a name for himself before he's willing to sign him up.

The latter is a recurring motif – it's the lack of being a being a name that's often something holding someone back. This could be extended to Singing in the Rain, where instead of someone stepping in for a star, they're made to sing performances which a tone-deaf star mimes to but talent will out when the public learns of it.

I can't really think of many films where the person is untested as a performer (as per the sketch). The closest one I can think of is The Patsy, but there, the Jerry Lewis character has had lots of disastrous try-outs in various forms of, but is a big hit when left to his own devices at the end of the film, yet it is the only performance that we don't get to see. 

*edit* beaten by zomgmouse!