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Film cliches you want to fuck off

Started by popcorn, September 25, 2017, 01:48:30 PM

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Someone is seeking someone else, who has a distinctive physical characteristic other than their facial features, like being very tall or short,  using a crutch to walk, or having bushy curly hair.  The person doing the seeking see someone from behind, who has that characteristic, approaches them, still from behind, saying something like, 'so here you are' when they reach them, only for the person to turn round to reveal a a face that is totally different to the sought person, and wearing a surprised or baffled expression.

lipsink

Central character approaches an asian/black character and speaks really, really slowly to them with lots of hand gestures as they assume they don't speak English. The person then reveals that English is their first language and they're actually from the same place as the central character.

Character is shown the body of their dead loved one. Cue shot of the hall outside the room with people sitting suddenly looking up when they hear the character shrieking: "No!!!!"

holyzombiejesus

Quote from: lipsink on January 23, 2019, 12:16:18 PM
Character is shown the body of their dead loved one. Cue shot of the hall outside the room with people sitting suddenly looking up when they hear the character shrieking: "No!!!!"

Or maybe a shot of the outside of the building and loads of birds fly up in the air.

BlodwynPig


Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 23, 2019, 11:57:52 AM
Someone is seeking someone else, who has a distinctive physical characteristic other than their facial features, like being very tall or short,  using a crutch to walk, or having bushy curly hair.  The person doing the seeking see someone from behind, who has that characteristic, approaches them, still from behind, saying something like, 'so here you are' when they reach them, only for the person to turn round to reveal a a face that is totally different to the sought person, and wearing a surprised or baffled expression.
I laughed at your description of this so it must still be funny.

lipsink

"You look like you've seen a ghost"

Brundle-Fly

Any outdoor funeral scene in a crime movie always has to have the cops/detectives with suspicious expressions on their faces, standing twenty feet away at a respectable distance/ Or somebody who wasn't invited, hiding behind a tree.


lipsink

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 23, 2019, 04:58:12 PM
Any outdoor funeral scene in a crime movie always has to have the cops standing twenty feet away at a respectable distance/ or somebody who wasn't invited hiding behind a tree.

Haha. This was recently in Widows too.

Golden E. Pump

Fun to do in real life though. Stand outside a graveyard wearing a suit and shades and everyone assumes you're important.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Golden E. Pump on January 23, 2019, 07:56:53 PM
Fun to do in real life though. Stand outside a graveyard wearing a suit and shades and everyone assumes you're important.

Either that, or a massive bellend.

olliebean

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 23, 2019, 11:57:52 AM
Someone is seeking someone else, who has a distinctive physical characteristic other than their facial features, like being very tall or short,  using a crutch to walk, or having bushy curly hair.  The person doing the seeking see someone from behind, who has that characteristic, approaches them, still from behind, saying something like, 'so here you are' when they reach them, only for the person to turn round to reveal a a face that is totally different to the sought person, and wearing a surprised or baffled expression.

Extra marks if the person is looking for a woman and the person approached turns out to be a man with long hair.

ersatz99

Police surveillance teams that comprise;
Roadworker
Deliivery driver
Man up a ladder
Someone on a park bench reading a paper
4 cops in a car drinking coffee parked directly opposite suspect's front door.

drdad

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 23, 2019, 11:57:52 AM
Someone is seeking someone else, who has a distinctive physical characteristic other than their facial features, like being very tall or short,  using a crutch to walk, or having bushy curly hair.  The person doing the seeking see someone from behind, who has that characteristic, approaches them, still from behind, saying something like, 'so here you are' when they reach them, only for the person to turn round to reveal a a face that is totally different to the sought person, and wearing a surprised or baffled expression.

This is the entire plot of Don't Look Now.

Brundle-Fly

Ripping gaffer tape off the face of a kidnapped character.

The victim never shouts, " Aaaah, my fucking lips..ow..ow.ow.ow...owwwwwww.......jesus...sorry... go on then..."






popcorn

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 25, 2019, 02:14:40 AM
Ripping gaffer tape off the face of a kidnapped character.

The victim never shouts, " Aaaah, my fucking lips..ow..ow.ow.ow...owwwwwww.......jesus...sorry... go on then..."

Gagging people generally, I reckon, is probably really hard work. I am not kinky or criminal enough to speak from personal experience here, but I reckon you'd need a fucking lot of gaffer tape before you had any trouble chewing or spitting it off your gob, and even then you'd probably still be able to speak or shout surprisingly legibly. You still see films where kidnapped people are gagged with, like, a scarf.

St_Eddie

Quote from: popcorn on January 25, 2019, 03:44:52 AM
Gagging people generally, I reckon, is probably really hard work. I am not kinky or criminal enough to speak from personal experience here, but I reckon you'd need a fucking lot of gaffer tape before you had any trouble chewing or spitting it off your gob, and even then you'd probably still be able to speak or shout surprisingly legibly. You still see films where kidnapped people are gagged with, like, a scarf.

Pfft!  Look at Mr. Serial Killer here, pretending like he don't know!

He knows.  He knows big time.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Makes you wonder how often would-be criminals must cock up a robbery or something because they thought "yeah I've seen people stick some tape over a bank managers mouth in a film, should be fine!"

lipsink

I never understand why in films sometimes people are gagged with a pair of socks shoved in their mouth. Can't they just spit the socks out?

Sebastian Cobb

Has jamming a chair under a door handle ever actually stopped anyone?

Clownbaby


Blumf


Icehaven

Quote from: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 01:14:20 PM
"What is this place?"

No really a cliché but in the 2010 film ''Monsters'', which is set in an alternate future where humans and aliens have co-existed for years, but the aliens are restricted to special compounds, and they make very specific noises, there's a bit where the main human characters are passing through the special compound where the aliens live, and every time they hear the very specific noise that the aliens make they say ''What is that???'' as if they really can't imagine what it could possibly be. It was unbearable.

Clownbaby

Quote from: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 02:27:29 PM
No really a cliché but in the 2010 film ''Monsters'', which is set in an alternate future where humans and aliens have co-existed for years, but the aliens are restricted to special compounds, and they make very specific noises, there's a bit where the main human characters are passing through the special compound where the aliens live, and every time they hear the very specific noise that the aliens make they say ''What is that???'' as if they really can't imagine what it could possibly be. It was unbearable.

I really don't care for that film for this very reason. I also can't stand it when in a zombie film no-one in-universe has any prior understanding of what a zombie is so when they see a load of obviously zombies they call them "those..... things". It annoys me in walking dead how nobody ever uses the word "zombie" as if the writers think they're being innovative and more naturalistic if they don't use the word, when in reality everyone probably would just call them zombies because zombies are very much a well known scary thing that people know about in popular culture. But the fictional zombie universes themselves never seem to have had zombies in their fictional popular culture so they're just "things" or "the infected"

beanheadmcginty


Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 25, 2019, 02:14:40 AM
Ripping gaffer tape off the face of a kidnapped character.

The victim never shouts, " Aaaah, my fucking lips..ow..ow.ow.ow...owwwwwww.......jesus...sorry... go on then..."

Jerry Lewis doesn't say anything when Sandra Bernhard slowly peels gaffer tape from his face in The King of Comedy, but he pulls a subtly pained expression and breathes through his mouth. Possibly the only example in cinema history of an actor bothering to express how unpleasant that experience would be.

Bazooka

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on January 26, 2019, 01:08:35 AM
Car keys in the sun visor.

There must have been a cultural time where this was a happening for it to become a staple in films, communities where they don't lock their front doors because a crime hasn't happened. But for this to transfer to modern films is a bit of a stretch.

magval

One I've really come to hate is a sociopathic bad guy, sometimes even good guy, saying something threatening or asking someone to do something horrible or even impossible, then glaring at them for a second and bursting out laughing and adding "relax, I'm just fucking with you."

Often with that exact phrase.

This can be done well ("what the fuck is so funny about me?" for example), but I'm just sick of it. One of the lazily employed building blocks for modern films, like so many of these are.

None of these clichés would be so had if writers tried to just change them a little, but often they appear beat for beat in film after film.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on January 26, 2019, 01:08:35 AM
Car keys in the sun visor.

I prefer this to the actor being able to hotwire the car and defeat the steering column lock in a  few seconds without tools and wiring diagrams.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Bazooka on January 26, 2019, 01:58:16 AM
There must have been a cultural time where this was a happening for it to become a staple in films, communities where they don't lock their front doors because a crime hasn't happened. But for this to transfer to modern films is a bit of a stretch.

People never locked their cars with keys in films.

Ferris

Quote from: magval on January 26, 2019, 08:24:18 AM
One I've really come to hate is a sociopathic bad guy, sometimes even good guy, saying something threatening or asking someone to do something horrible or even impossible, then glaring at them for a second and bursting out laughing and adding "relax, I'm just fucking with you."

Often with that exact phrase.

This can be done well ("what the fuck is so funny about me?" for example), but I'm just sick of it. One of the lazily employed building blocks for modern films, like so many of these are.

None of these clichés would be so had if writers tried to just change them a little, but often they appear beat for beat in film after film.

Gog requesting a kebab from Jez in that episode of Peep Show