Author Topic: Film cliches you want to fuck off  (Read 82928 times)

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1380 on: May 14, 2019, 11:34:57 AM »
The mirror on the door above the bathroom sink reveals nothing behind the character. They open the little cabinet door its on, close it and.... there's nothing behind them. You think "Phew, for a second i thought"A DIFFERENT BIG JUMP SCARE THEN HAPPENS.

Doing it that way is no less hacky.

The stupid thing about both those clichés, and ones where someone's in a room, hears someone coming and ducks behind a couch or door to hide, is the person who fails to notice them would have to have zero peripheral vision and pisspoor hearing, and in some of the cabinet/locker/fridge door scenario not even notice a pair of feet appearing right next to theirs or someone standing right behind them.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1381 on: May 14, 2019, 11:46:08 AM »
Kids and sometimes adults in peril will often hide under their bed. Nobody ever has one of them beds with all drawers underneath, or have loads of stuff under there used for storing toys or suitcases or all the things I ever put under a bed that would stop me being able to hide under it because of draclias etc.

zomgmouse

  • I love carrots
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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1382 on: May 14, 2019, 02:42:48 PM »
When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1383 on: May 14, 2019, 04:09:25 PM »
When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

Or just type LIST.

AsparagusTrevor

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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1384 on: May 14, 2019, 05:01:17 PM »
Traffic jams where every single fucker is peeping their horn.
This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1385 on: May 14, 2019, 05:28:03 PM »
It’s called the Third World Brake Pedal for a reason.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1386 on: May 14, 2019, 05:37:26 PM »
This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

In Asia there could be one car on the road and the driver would still hit the horn.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1387 on: May 15, 2019, 01:38:10 PM »
This happens in real life. People seem to be under the impression honking their horn magically dissolves whatever's causing the tailbacks.

There's either a Simpsons or Family Guy joke where they're stuck in a jam and Homer/Peter says something like ''Don't worry, I have a foolproof method of getting out of traffic jams'' and just starts beeping the horn aggressively.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1388 on: May 15, 2019, 01:49:49 PM »
Also the harder/more aggressively you smack your horn the louder it goes.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1389 on: May 15, 2019, 02:34:01 PM »
Anyone who's ever woken up with a hangover in Naples can testify: the horn gets a lot more use in some countries than others.

Protip: I tried to recreate my own little bit of Southern Italian atmosphere by honking liberally on my return to Kent. Do not do this.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1390 on: May 15, 2019, 06:07:12 PM »
Were you tutted at?

Rich Uncle Skeleton

  • Oh it's a whole flock of detectives.
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1391 on: May 16, 2019, 12:02:15 AM »


always looked to me like he had his hand on his hip doing some sort of death defying "i'm a little teapot" routine

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1392 on: May 16, 2019, 12:31:39 AM »
It always reminds me of Monty Python’s camp soldiers for some reason.


Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1393 on: May 16, 2019, 03:59:16 PM »
When you can just put numbers in a computer and press go and it gives you a result.

So many computer ones - system searches that show you every mugshot it's matching against the original, ditto fingerprints. And then a massive "MATCH" or "NOT FOUND" sent to the screen on success/failure are the ones that bug me most for some reason.

Also - entry card units that flash up "ACCESS DENIED" on doors rather than just a little red light or doing fuck all so the protagonist has to keep pressing his pass against it with differing levels of determination, unsure if it's registered would be more realistic.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1394 on: May 16, 2019, 04:10:54 PM »
So many computer ones - system searches that show you every mugshot it's matching against the original, ditto fingerprints. And then a massive "MATCH" or "NOT FOUND" sent to the screen on success/failure are the ones that bug me most for some reason.

Also - entry card units that flash up "ACCESS DENIED" on doors rather than just a little red light or doing fuck all so the protagonist has to keep pressing his pass against it with differing levels of determination, unsure if it's registered would be more realistic.

If you really want a 'so shit it's good' computer horror that pulls every cliche I recommend Ghost in the Machine.

The premise is summed up by 'Incompetent doctors somehow infected the entire town's data and electrical systems with the soul of a serial killer and he's now an omnipotent killing machine.'

Worth watching the trailer just for the kid elbow dropping a virtual ghost at 1:45

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1395 on: May 16, 2019, 11:20:57 PM »
There's either a Simpsons or Family Guy joke where they're stuck in a jam and Homer/Peter says something like ''Don't worry, I have a foolproof method of getting out of traffic jams'' and just starts beeping the horn aggressively.

It's from Itchy and Scratchy Land.

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1396 on: May 17, 2019, 02:17:10 PM »
This thread's titles a bit off.  It should be 'film clichés that are really entertaining to spot.'

neveragain

  • like those swamp tar pits that bubble and go Gloop
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1397 on: May 18, 2019, 03:14:57 PM »
Quite right!

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1398 on: May 19, 2019, 07:51:56 AM »
If a character coughs one time too many they will collapse later in the film.

Unless it is the story of Major Ingrams.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1399 on: May 19, 2019, 07:07:33 PM »
Spy in hiding has massive beard.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1400 on: May 19, 2019, 10:47:59 PM »
Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1401 on: May 20, 2019, 07:33:34 AM »
Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

Yes! Increasingly noticing things in films and TV which seem to assume it's being watched either at the cinema (ha!) or on an enormous TV, which is ironic given more and more stuff is actually being watched on tiny phone screens or tablets. And don't get me started on the inaudible speech/thundering music two seconds later thing.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • It rubs the lotion on its skin
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1402 on: May 20, 2019, 10:11:18 AM »
Mobile phones in films in general are just shite aren't they? Especially because the model of phone dates it almost immediately, what with the pace of technology. I liked the way in the recent Twin Peaks that David Lynch tried to avoid using them wherever possible, if a landline could be feasibly used.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1403 on: May 20, 2019, 12:02:45 PM »
Just reposting to fix the broken image link:

Someone receives or sends a vitally important plot point via text message or whatsapp or whatever. It looks something like this:



only because I'm not sitting right up close to the screen and the hand holding the phone is wobbling about and my eyes aren't what they used to be, it effectively looks more like this:



If I'm lucky, I've managed to read about half of it before it's gone.

zomgmouse

  • I love carrots
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Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1404 on: May 20, 2019, 03:01:53 PM »
Some hardships happen..... and it's raining, too!

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1405 on: May 20, 2019, 04:10:55 PM »
Mobile phones in films in general are just shite aren't they? Especially because the model of phone dates it almost immediately, what with the pace of technology. I liked the way in the recent Twin Peaks that David Lynch tried to avoid using them wherever possible, if a landline could be feasibly used.

Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1406 on: May 20, 2019, 04:17:00 PM »
Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

I like it when they try and fuzz things like this by making things a bit anachronistic.

I think in The Matrix they used an outdated phone that looked futuristic. But in Primer they deliberately used the most bland nondescript handsets.

thecuriousorange

  • WELCOME THRILLHOU
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1407 on: May 20, 2019, 05:29:23 PM »
When they realise a vital password is probably a name of great significance (dead child etc) to the crazed individual who set up the system. Fine, but it's never the name with an additional number/punctuation mark before or after it. Or an E replaced with a 3 or anything.

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1408 on: May 20, 2019, 05:52:53 PM »
When they realise a vital password is probably a name of great significance (dead child etc) to the crazed individual who set up the system. Fine, but it's never the name with an additional number/punctuation mark before or after it. Or an E replaced with a 3 or anything.
JOSHUA

Re: Film cliches you want to fuck off
« Reply #1409 on: May 20, 2019, 05:53:49 PM »
Thought just that yesterday watching a bit of Terminator 3. Claire Danes was using a Nokia 3310.

The 3310 is timeless, though.