Helpful Mandy

[Sebastian Cobb]

Helpful Mandy is pushing a man in a wheelchair and isn't listening to his wails of 'No, stop! I've just come from there'.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Helpful Mandy helps an old lady across the road.

" I'm 36." Says the unimpressed lady.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Helpful Mandy initiates CPR on a sleeping homeless person.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Helpful Mandy gives a disenchanted sprog a cuddle, a cuppa and a library card.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Helpful Mandy invites a doorstep chugger with long hair and a beard in for an aromatic footbath.

[DukeDeMondo]

Helpful Mandy replaces all your Lostprophets albums.

[pancreas]

Helpful Mandy protects your privacy by shredding all your documents.

[Lemming]

Helpful Mandy signs you up to a local social anxiety support group without your consent as a surprise, to help you "come out of your shell"

Helpful Mandy holds a door open for you. You didn't need to go through it, but now have to sheepishly thank her, shuffle through, and take a massive detour

Helpful Mandy outs you as gay to your entire workplace, to make sure you "don't have to hide who you are anymore"

Helpful Mandy forcibly drags you into her home when she sees you walking past in the rain, and "won't hear of it" when you assure her you can make the 5 minute walk to your own house without a problem. You are held captive and forced to spend the afternoon watching Dickinson's Real Deal with her

[Glebe]

Helpful Mandy takes Mrs. Muggins' shopping bags off her as she's leaving Tesco. They're the flimsy little ones, and have unfortunately been packed to brimming. As Mandy takes them off her, with a whelp of "Let me help you there, Mrs. Muggins!", they break and jars and stuff smash all over the pavement. "Oh dear. I'm sorry, Mrs. Muggins."

"That's alright dear, you were only trying to be helpful! You are helpful Mandy, after all! I don't suppose you could see your way clear to buying some of the broken items for... oh, she's gone."

[pancreas]

Helpful Mandy overheard you saying you wanted kids one day. She borrows your wallet and nicks holes in your condoms.

[hamfist]

Helpful Mandy wordlessly wanks a s*****c to a sticky conclusion. "Bet you needed that" she says in her Su Pollard voice as the ecstatic 15 year old gurns back at her.

[Glebe]

Mandy pushes a depressed-looking man in front of a car. "It seemed like you couldn't decide wether or not you wanted to go on living, so I helped you make that decision!" she shouts, as the police lead her away from the scene of carnage.