The Fat Controller

[madhair60]

Mrs Fat Controller: What's the matter love
Fat Controller: It's the trains, Margaret, they don't respect me.

[madhair60]

Fat Controller: Edward could you pick up some passengers please
Edward: Sod off you old twat

[madhair60]

Fat Controller: You might be wondering why I'm holding this meeting
Trains: don't care
Fat Controller: Well it's becau-
Trains: Fuck you

[madhair60]

Fat Controller: Toby mate quick word
Toby: Yeah what
Fat Controller: Alright it's going round that when you ran over my leg last week that was some sort of prank?

[madhair60]

Fat Controller: James my wife asked could you lot stop backing up to my gaff and farting through the kitchen window
James: I'll put the word out pal

[madhair60]

Station Master: bad news folks the Fat Controller has hung himself
Percy: Good
Mavis: Fuck him the fat idiot

[madhair60]

Priest: We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of
Donald: Just away an get the cunt in the groond
Douglas: Aye fuck im aff

[JoeyBananaduck]

Annie: Hey you sexy hunk of chubbiness, ever fancy a threesome?
Clarabel: We're well up for it. Fancied you for ages.
Annie: Go on you saucy git, take a look at my brake compartment!
Fat Cuntroller: Well I don't thi-....
Annie: GUARD! GUARD! THIS FAT DISGUSTING CUNT WANTS TO SHAG TRAIN CARRIAGES!! TELL HIS WIFE, QUICK!!!

[Steven]

There were actually three Fat Controllers, all named Sir Topham Hat. Though I don't think they like to talk about the first Fat Controller who was awarded with a baronet in 1948 due to rumours of a secret wartime pact where he used Gordon, Clarabel and Annie to ship the Jews out of Sodor.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Four if you count The Fart Controller, a.k.a. TV's own Mr Methane the world's only performing flatulist. I see absolutely no good reason why he shouldn't be considered canon.

[poo]

Fat Controller: Thomas, you're to go to Brendam Docks and collect a load of jobywood and take it to the castle.

Thomas: Go fuck yourself

[Captain Z]

Toby: OI, FAT CUNT
Fat Controller: What did y-
Toby: ...roller, where do you want me to dump this coal?

[Alberon]

Fat Controller: Right, the reason I've asked you all to this meeting is-
Toby: Arsehead!
Fat Controller: - is, is because-
Toby: You've got a head shaped like an arse?
Fat Controller: Look this is important. I've had to make an important decision about-
Toby: Whether to have liposuction on your head... which is in the exact shape of an arse?
Fat Controller: I'm replacing you all with with fucking diesels you stuck up sack of cunts! I'm going to take great pleasure watching you all rust to buggering dust, you bunch of cockweasels!
Ian: Did we go to far? What are we going to do, Thomas?
Thomas: You're all on your own. I've been signed up to be on Celebrity Big Brother.
Toby: Arsehead.

[Glebe]

Fat Controller: Let's have a bit of that grime music people, turn it up!

That's Thomas & Friends in Party Breakout!, in cinemas Nov 17.

#ohyeahitsonthomas

[pancreas]

[tag] MATTER OF FAT CONTROLLER [/tag]

[madhair60]

henry: it's raining mate reckon i'll just stay in the tunnel til it leaves off
fat controller: very well fuckface I shall entomb you alive
ringo starr: i think henry deserved his punishment; do you?
me: no! god, n- that's outrageous

[cptspalding]

Gordon: Quickly The Fat Controller, there has been a body found on the line at the top of the hill!
The Fat Controller: I will finish this pie later...Onwards Big Gordon, onwards!

TOP OF HILL
Gordon: Phew, that was a big hill wontit?
The Fat Controller: That it was, fat train of the tracks. Now, where is this dead body?
Gordon: Up ahead...
The Fat Controller: I can only see old oil and latrine deposits
No body on the line! Nothing matching your description here at all, not at all silly stupid Gordon!

GORDON STARTS CHUFFIN'
Gordon: You shouldn't have done that to Henry. He went mad in there you know. Couldn't separate train from pain. He heard the whistles at night, felt his carriages being...manipulated.
CHUFF CHUFF CHUFF
The Fat Controller: No Gordon, nooooo!
CHUFF CHUFF CHUFF

"This is Gordon calling in a body on the line. Top of the hill. Better let TFL know."

[Glebe]

THE FAT CONTROLLER: Alright, you lot, that's another day done!

THOMAS: Peep peep! Come on, Gordon, let's go for a chuff!

GORDON: Shove it up your fucking arse you chirpy blue engine.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Ringo: Thomas was a very special engine.

Thomas: Why thank y-.....hey hang on a second when you say....?

FC: Get me a pie you blue bastard.