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More terrible book covers

Started by Captain Crunch, October 09, 2017, 06:52:56 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Glebe on February 05, 2020, 12:03:27 AM
James Lance has let himself go.
(Actually, looking in pretty deceny nick nowadays, considering)



FY, TF.

idunnosomename

Quote from: olliebean on November 12, 2019, 02:06:13 PM
This fucking thing:



has been optioned for a TV series. And somehow I never noticed the author's photo when the book was posted here before, but fucking look at it. Have you ever seen a face that screams "bellend" more than that one?
his nose looks like a scrotum to be fair which is the other end

I do hate his wacky twitter lefty act which is usually just taking a viral video of some cunt falling over and puts "live footage of the UK leaving the EU"

Neville Chamberlain

I actually think I honestly hate him more than I hate Hitler. And I hate Hitler a lot.


Thomas

There are books I haven't bought because the only affordable option was a Wordsworth Classic.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on February 05, 2020, 01:37:05 PM
I actually think I honestly hate him more than I hate Hitler. And I hate Hitler a lot.
i mean he's no hitler but he's a talentless hawking grifter who shifts more copies of his shitty book than he deserves to

see also james o'brien, james ball (basically a tory), aaron gillies (technically ron), matt haig, other cunts

Famous Mortimer

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/amberjamieson/barnes-noble-book-covers-diverse-black-history-month

Barnes and Noble decided to sell versions of books (conveniently, all in the public domain) with POC on the cover, after having used an algorithm to determine which books mentioned the ethnicity of their protagonists the least. It appears it got all the way to nearly being sold before the chorus of people telling them what a fucking stupid idea it was won out. For instance, "The Secret Garden", with its exceptionally racist main character, has decided to reimagine this character as Asian on the cover, strongly indicating no-one involved in any of this had ever read the book, or knew anything about it.

idunnosomename


imitationleather


Mister Six


marquis_de_sad

I think I've mentioned Dedalus before in one of these threads. Well here's their cover for Robert Irwin's new book:



This isn't a self-published vanity press, Dedalus is a serious publisher of literary fiction with Arts Council funding.

thenoise

How about a race-reverse version of Huckleberry Finn, a feisty well educated young black boy and his unlikely friendship with escaped white servant Cracka-Jim.

olliebean

A terrible cover for a terrible title:


Alberon

So what's that about? Let's look at the description on Amazon.

QuoteThis MK-Ultra style metaphorical philosophical thought experiment literary novel will drive you insane that is about trauma based mind control, psychology, psychiatry, the science of mental health, hypnosis, brainwashing, cult deprogramming, cults, the CIA Alice method, cognitive dissonance, disassociation, subliminal messaging, occult elite secret society religious knowledge, split personalities, project monarch, time travel, scientifically possible heavens, scientifically possible hells, reincarnation of recycled atoms that have been in many living things for eternity, infinity, the limits of time, the limits of space, the limits of the human mind, conspiracies the government says are true, all religious holy books combined together in a quantum physics multiverse series of new Chrislam Bible and Quran versions forming a one world religion government, the signing of the seventh age peace covenant by people with six letters in each of their three names, scientifically possible afterlives including in atheistic philosophies, scientifically predicted versions of the apocalypse, predictive programming prophecies, the Mandela effect, and various other mind-bending topics all blended into the strangest scariest science fiction fantasy horror novel you'll ever read. This heart stopping terrifying novel is a lot like the title of this book, and is beyond explanation, since you have to experience it for yourself, because it just may steal your mind, and what you call a soul, forever.

Nope, no answer there.

Egyptian Feast

Wow, there's a lot of mad shite packed into those two sentences. I hope the whole book is written like that.

Twonty Gostelow

It might sell as a T-shirt in Japan.

Alberon

Spotted in a book review by SF author Neal Asher on his blog. From the days before Chris Foss covers became the norm.



Is that a close up shot of a bath mat?

Captain Crunch

Not just any bath mat, it's the Giant Cosmic Bath Mat of Ptath!  Run!

purlieu

Quote from: olliebean on June 01, 2020, 09:34:29 AM
A terrible cover for a terrible title:


His other books on Goodreads include Live Habit Hacks for Work, Love, Friends, Money and Weight Loss (21 Secrets to be Rich, Thin, Motivated and Happier in 30 Days), Vagabond Gypsy Retirement Today for Fun, to be Free, Rich and Happy (Poverty, Prosperity, and other Illusions Blinding You to Freedom, Book 1) and Stock Marketing Gambling Addiction Help.


Mister Six

I know Henry James's chilling ghost story being represented as some kind of advert for space tourism is bonkers, but the Three Men in a Boat one is the best for sheer absurdity.

Glebe

Quote from: Mister Six on October 31, 2020, 01:52:21 AMI know Henry James's chilling ghost story being represented as some kind of advert for space tourism is bonkers, but the Three Men in a Boat one is the best for sheer absurdity.

The picture is just blatantly lying about the number of boats.

Shaky

Quote from: Glebe on October 31, 2020, 02:54:56 AM
The picture is just blatantly lying about the number of boats.

Ha, yes. I can imagine a really confused meeting playing out like that scene in Airplane where the pilots keep saying each others names.

"So, wait... how many men and how many boats?"
"2 men and 2 boats?"
"No, it was 3 boats and... some men?"
"3 boats and no men!"

Glebe


Jittlebags

Good book for Steve Mc Laren here...


jobotic

Can't stop laughing at Three Men in Three Boats by Jerome, Kay and also Jerome.

samadriel

Maybe it's like Bond. "Jerome, K. Jerome."

Mobbd

Spotted in the public library yesterday, a rebooted cover of a classic Terry Pratchett book. Josh Kirby not good enough apparently.


holyzombiejesus

Apart from the 'Men At Arms' type, that's a brilliant cover. Certainly a hundred times better than the crusty rubbish that's normally on his shit books.