The Impressionable Jon Culshaw

[Darrell]

New ITV1 series, starts Wednesday. The word you're looking for is "how???"

"Jon Culshaw" is the dictionary definition of ubiquity - why has he got four currently-running series to his name? Dead Ringers, 2DTV, Alter Ego and this are ALL THE SAME. How hasn't anybody noticed yet?

"It's nice to have the chance to do my own show and do the characters I want to," says Culshaw in the Radio Times. So, does this mean a bit more experimentation, then? Who are do you doing, Jonno? "[Tony Blair and Gordon Brown], they'll be neighbours from hell having rows over the garden fence". THAT SOUNDS GREAT, JON. The RT has a photo of him as Russell Crowe. Fucking hell, talk about branching out. I wonder if he'll do Tom Baker. Oh, I REALLY HOPE he does. That'd be HILARIOUS, I NEVER GET SICK OF IT.

Comedy is being single-handedly slaughtered by these cocks. Ah, well, don't worry, because on the 21st January you can look forward to BBC2's Ross Noble Night!!! Fucking hell.

[NobodyGetsOutAlive]

Fucking hell. What can they even put on a Ross Noble night other than his Room  101 appearance and those 5 consecutive weeks he spent on Ian Hislop's team on Have I Got News For You? What else has he actually done? (other than Nevermind the Buzzcocks presumably)

[Darrell]

It's a HIGNFY repeat, a live concert, and the Room 101. WHAT'S THE POINT?

[benthalo]

The Ross Noble slot did make my draw drop, but it's thankfully late, starting at 22:45. Mind you, having shoved him onto any BBC show under the sun for the past three years I'm amazed it took them this long.

This bothered me in the billing for Unrealtime:

This film sees Noble on stage in full-flow performing to a packed house, and brings new meaning to the definition 'improvised' comedy.

What does this mean?

The BBC2 Nights have been laughable for at least nine years, ever since John Whiston and The Late Show packed their bags. This is scarcely much different to Brucie Night - a limp excuse to lump.

[NobodyGetsOutAlive]

Doesn't seem substantial enough to call it a "night" really. A waste of time and license fees nevertheless though.

There really should be a VerbwhoresTV channel.

[Jemble Fred]

It's a HIGNFY repeat, a live concert, and the Room 101. WHAT'S THE POINT?

The whole idea can be explained with the following clues: Jane Root, a hotel room, a 12 inch strap-on, and Ross' arsehole.

[butnut]

Can someone explain the hatred for Noble here? I'm genuienly wondering about it.

I've never seen him live - in fact the only time I've ever heard him is on Just a Minute. On this he's quite funny - although his only competition is Tony Whorkes and Graham Norton most weeks - (Clement Freud doesn't count, he's above them all in all respects). What has he done (or not done) to get the VW 's wrath?

[Jemble Fred]

What's the lovely Mr. Hawkes done to get up your goat?

I don't have any problem with Ross Noble, I think he's fine, especially on JaM. But him getting his whole BBC2 Theme Night is a lot more surreal than any flight of fancy he may have come out with. Next up, the Mark Wooton weekend on Channel 4!

[butnut]

What's the lovely Mr. Hawkes done to get up your goat?

He's alright I suppose, but nothing more. I know several people who just can't stand him and find him deeply unfunny. He raises the odd chuckle on those kind of panel games, but I don't think he's ever going to set the world on fire with his humour. I don't mean him any real harm, but I'm not going to go out of my way to go and see him (even if he does live down the road in Wimbledon)

[5 Knuckle Shuffle]

I'm almost positive that Ross Noble is getting his own sort of TV show sometime this year, or early next year.
Perhaps this is some kind of 'easing him into the masses' / bigging him up kind of ploy?

[chand]

Confession: I really enjoyed seeing Ross Noble live.

Anyway, this Culshaw thing looks pretty poor. And can anyone explain the point in parodying Ozzy Osbourne? He already IS a parody and he has a show where you can watch him bumble about, we don't need impressionists doing the same thing and calling it satire.

[Ben Ordinary]

'Nice' that this has got a fairly peak time 10pm ITV1 slot when Harry Hill's TV Burp starts tomorrow at 11 bleeding pm. I was really hoping it was going to get a more suitable repeat slot (like half 6 on a sunday tea for example) but no, it seems midnight on saturday is another of ITV's peak slots for the show.

I assumed Series 3 would get treated much better because of its quick return and extended 2nd series run. Bah. Gah, and any other Scousers you can think of....

[Rats]

Yeah, what's wrong with ross noble, big nose? (did I ever tell any of you that I used to knock about with him a bit? I don't think I did, we shared a love of big night out and iron maiden and he was a really nice bloke) I've heard two bootlegs of his gigs, one was shite and the other was class. Ross Noble night is a bit of a joke though, just show the concert for fucks sake, you don't need to arse about repeating stuff.
Agree about john culshaw, these people shouldn't be given their own shows. They should be comedy mercaneries, don't let them write their own shit for god's sake.

[monkhouse terror]

He's alright I suppose, but nothing more. I know several people who just can't stand him and find him deeply unfunny. He raises the odd chuckle on those kind of panel games, but I don't think he's ever going to set the world on fire with his humour.

I really enjoy reading his website but then again, 12 year olds are quite easy targets.

I am also getting quite sick of Jon Culshaw, he can do some great impressions (Simon Scharma being the best) but so can lots of people and, shock horror, they might even be able to do more than about 10! And they don't get paid solely for doing the same impressions over and over again, so I think it's alright to be a bit miffed at him. What's worse though is that he is a mate of *spit* ...Chris Moyles. Anyone who enjoys being in the company of that big waste of sex is dodgy.

[Silver SurferGhost]

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST.*
Just who is Culshaw blowing for all this TV exposure, that's what I'd like to know.
I s'pose he's competent enough if limited (at impressions, not blowing tv execs),
but then I've never been much of one for impressionists, not even the artistic type.
As a kid I was never, erm, impressed by Mike (And This Is Me) Yarwood, and he was a local lad with a flash Roller.
The only thing that ever struck me about him was how much he looked like my Uncle Mick, and then he Yeah, snap out of it, SurferGhost

Cheap-to-make ITV1 bollocks innit, that's all the reason they need.
Just something to fit around the adverts.
I'm sure that Harry Hill's show is only still going because no-one at ITV is actually watching it and noticing
that it's not mainstream enough.
So yeah, impressionists. Next subject.

Ross Noble's alright, like butnut said he's quite good on Just A Minute, especially if Merton's not on form.
I dunno if I could stand a whole night of him, though.

What's the lovely Mr. Hawkes done to get up your goat?

I take it you've not seen that *hilarious* You've Been Framed-style canned-larfter camera-stunt show
he recently fronted on channel 5 then...
He did have the decency to look suitably embarrassed though.


* It's alright, I'm allowed to say that as a Roman Catholic

[Des Nilsen]

I saw the trailer for this Culshaw thing, and suffered considerable irritation. I couldn't help but say loudly "...ffffffffucks sake..."

They've got him blacked-up as Trevor McDoughnut *cough* McDonald. I can't see the point of that - he even has a false nose; looks like sort sort of alien.
Culshaw can do the voice so he might as well be green, it's obvious who he's doing.
Also, the fact that he's gone and done one of ITV1's flagship programs irritates - I could handle Harry Hill doing it, but Culshaw is something else entirely. I really want to be optimistic about any new comedy (even impressionists) because, well, there's every chance things might be quite good. Quite good would be good.
But I cannot see this working. In interviews Culshaw shows himself to have nothing to say but the usual polite but slightly dull small-talk, and inevitably ends up falling into one of his impressions. It's often the reason he's being interviewed, but still.

(I actually think that most impressionists have no personality and have to adopt them for show.
Would Jon Culshaw exist without his TV shows? Yes, but he'd be a very dull man. Probably).

-

[butnut]

What's the lovely Mr. Hawkes done to get up your goat?

I take it you've not seen that *hilarious* You've Been Framed-style canned-larfter camera-stunt show
he recently fronted on channel 5 then...
He did have the decency to look suitably embarrassed though.

Fuck, I'd forgotten about that. What a pile of shit that was. I must remember that next time some talks about Tony le Hawk.

[Jemble Fred]

Manning for Deputy PM

Comic's new job as Prescott lookalike
Bernard Manning has landed a new comedy role ú as a John Prescott lookalike.

The controversial comic is to impersonate the Deputy Prime Minister in a new ITV show by Dead Ringers star Jon Culshaw.

The Impressionable Jon Culshaw will also feature Eddie Large as Birmingham MP Clare Short.

A show insider told the Daily Telegraph: "The likeness really is very good, and Eddie's very funny as Clare. But I doubt she'll be laughing when she sees it.''

Large added: "I've had 41 years in the business, and now I end up having to be a Clare Short lookalike."

Well, he's obviously influenced by the best. Who'd have thought Revolver would be proven to be so influential so quickly?

[Darrell]

I don't know about you, but I fancy a good old sneer.

[Alberon]

Well, that sucked donkey balls.

The main thing I was wondering through that was where the hell has 2dTV got to? It hasn't been on for over a year at least.

The Impressionable Jon Culshaw looked cheap, rushed, underwritten and I got the impression it was using minor celebrities to try and cover the holes.

[Darrell]

Astonishing. It made Dead Ringers look good.

Why is Paul Putner (for one) involved with this?

[bill hicks]

Culshaw can be damn good sometimes. The earlier series of Dead Ringers on R4 are mostly excellent, and mostly for Culshaw's work.

But by christ man! His Tony Blair stuff is pretty weak (compared to Bremner anyway), his continual use of vacuous minor celebs in unfunny situations is a joke (that isn't pissing funny), and his Trevor McDonald material is basically the same gag Bremner tired of 5 years ago.

I'm going to make a tape of 'I'm Brian Perkins' stuff to remind myself that he can be good.

(Oh and surely no-one could tire of Tom Baker? It is an excellent impression, and Baker is a font of genius at all times.)

EDIT: His George Bush is really good too, but the material in this was very poor. Get a good satirical writer to run up some extended Bush stuff (as Bremner sometimes does) and the show could be salvaged.

[alan strang]

Astonishing. It made Dead Ringers look good.

Why is Paul Putner (for one) involved with this?

Tax bill, I'd imagine.

[Darrell]

Oh and surely no-one could tire of Tom Baker? It is an excellent impression, and Baker is a font of genius at all times.

It's a terrible impression, though. It consists of him doing a pseudo-impression (which is pitched completely incorrectly) while quoting either Pyramids of Mars or the 1996 TV Movie, then looking smug afterwards. If you're a Doctor Who fan, like it or lump it you get him constantly shoved down your throat in the most irrelevant of circumstances (he's even on the bloody DVDs now).

[benthalo]

Darrell, did you catch Culshaw on the UK Gold DW weekend last year? There was a five minute package to introduce the Tom Baker story (Pyramids of Mars I think) which involved Culshaw delivering a line from the story, which then cut cruelly to the actual Tom Baker in the story saying the same line in an utterly different voice. I'm sure it was a deliberate act by BBC Manchester.

Also, Culshaw's Darth Vadar is essentially Tom Baker into a pint glass. I can't believe no one else has spotted this.

I've asked other people and still not had an answer - what is the function of this series? It does nothing which Bremner, Bird & Fortune or Harry Hill's TV Burp doesn't do already, only not as well (and I'm bending over backwards for Bremner there). The absence of a laughter track makes it very strange to watch.

[Darrell]

Darrell, did you catch Culshaw on the UK Gold DW weekend last year? There was a five minute package to introduce the Tom Baker story (Pyramids of Mars I think) which involved Culshaw delivering a line from the story, which then cut cruelly to the actual Tom Baker in the story saying the same line in an utterly different voice. I'm sure it was a deliberate act by BBC Manchester.

I'm still grinning into my chips about it! That combined with Nev Fountain's DWM report about the Children in Need sketch, anyway...

[Lord Spong]

Darrell, did you catch Culshaw on the UK Gold DW weekend last year? There was a five minute package to introduce the Tom Baker story (Pyramids of Mars I think) which involved Culshaw delivering a line from the story, which then cut cruelly to the actual Tom Baker in the story saying the same line in an utterly different voice. I'm sure it was a deliberate act by BBC Manchester.

I was at the main Doctor Who convention (The Panopticon!!) last November, and Culshaw was there, everywhere.  He was ubiquitous.  He performed his little 'act', which consisted of repeating lines from 'Pyramids of Mars' and 'The Hand of Fear' in a voice which any self respecting fan knows sounds nothing like Tom Baker.  He managed to worm his way onto panels and interviews which he had no right to be on (what the fuck does John Culshaw know about producing Doctor Who in the 1970s).  You could find him wandering up and down the corridors outside the convention room all day, hoping people would come up to him and kiss his arse.

Even worse, Nev fucking Fountain was there as well.

On the plus side, so was Mark Gatiss.

[Darrell]

I was at the main Doctor Who convention (The Panopticon!!) last November

So was I. You should have said!

[Lord Spong]

I was at the main Doctor Who convention (The Panopticon!!) last November

So was I. You should have said!

I was the skinny, slightly nerdy looking one wearing the glasses.  You couldn't have missed me!

[Rats]

Were there fat ones too? I like the fat ones best. I liked doctor who when I was little, it was really good untill they started making the episodes last three hours.