Where the fuck is Mark Lamarr?

[DrGreggles]

Surely the problem with Fill Jupiter is that he doesn't seem to do anything other than panel shows. He's not a real comedian.

I'm surely he's a nice enough bloke, but he seems to have had a ridiculously easy ride without ever having been particularly funny.
I saw him doing stand up a few years ago and (as I may have mentioned on another thread on here) it was so bad. Just uncomfortable for everyone there.
A friend of mine did some work on a house near where Jupitus lives, and it's a very well to do area (massive houses - most of them with swimming pools) so being a professional panel shows man obviously has its perks.
He also has a trait of, when he clearly can't think of anything funny to say, over-laughing at the previous joke/comment. It's really annoying once you notice it.

[Gregory Torso]

Exactly, he's "fine" but he's built a ridiculously prolific career out of being, at best, as funny as your second or third funniest mate.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Exactly, he's "fine" but he's built a ridiculously prolific career out of being, at best, as funny as your second or third funniest mate.

Reading Billy Bragg's book it sounds like that's exactly what he was, with a bit of poetry lobbed in as well.

[Jockice]

Phill (or as he was known in those days Porky) used to be press officer for Go! Discs. Hence his appearances in Housemartins and Billy Bragg videos. I used to speak to him fairly often and met him a couple of times. He is (or at least was) an absolute sweetheart. Many other people in his job are just users. Up your arse when they want publicity but as soon as they get it you cease to exist until next time they want publicity. He wasn't like that. Now comes the problem...I just don't find him funny. On TV at least. I've never seen him live. Good luck to him though.

As for the name bit, it does seem a bit of a contrivance. I have a friend whose first name is Phillip with two ls, but nobody ever calls him Phill.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yeah, he seems like a good bloke. When I saw Billy Bragg a couple of years ago he was on tour with him, but I don't think he was doing much apart from being a travelling companion and doing a few sketches.

[Wet Blanket]

Could it be there's a correlation between Jupitus being a nice bloke and therefore thrown many a bone from the panel show circuit, while Lamarr is famously abrasive so nobody wants to work with him?

[gilbertharding]

"Jupitus shared a picture on his Twitter page of a page from Hughes' book Sean's Book ahead of the funeral.

He wrote: "Raise a glass this afternoon.""

Bit fucking tactless, eh?

He also has a trait of, when he clearly can't think of anything funny to say, over-laughing at the previous joke/comment. It's really annoying once you notice it.

Also repeating the previous joke/comment, but louder and in a different voice - so that it becomes even funnier. I think Alan Davies invented this technique, but they're all at it now.

[Repeater]

I don't suppose anyone knows if Mark Lamarr is adopted? As an adopted man myself, I'm often quite good at guessing who might be, based on certain behavioural and personality traits. I was not surprised at all to find out Stewart Lee was, for example. It's like gaydar but for adopted people.

Also he was born in 1967 which is like the peak year for people getting adopted.

I had Derren Brown down as adopted until he revealed he was gay, which was what was probably confusing my sensors.

This is really interesting. What signs do you pick up on?

[Brundle-Fly]

Surely the problem with Fill Jupiter is that he doesn't seem to do anything other than panel shows. He's not a real comedian.

Not true. Whether you think he's funny or not, Jupitus has done quite a few tours and is on one at the moment and he's a regular on the poetry circuit performing for little or no money. He acted in Hairspray in the West End and has appeared in several plays up at the Ed Fringe.

http://www.chortle.co.uk/comics/p/2688/phill_jupitus

[Ignatius_S]

Not true. Whether you think he's funny or not, Jupitus has done quite a few tours and is on one at the moment and he's a regular on the poetry circuit performing for little or no money. He acted in Hairspray in the West End and has appeared in several plays up at the Ed Fringe.

http://www.chortle.co.uk/comics/p/2688/phill_jupitus

Yeah, he's done a few theatre shows - one of my friends saw Jupitus in one (possibly Hairspray) and said he was *very* good.

Also, Jupitus presented two radio documentaries, which I thought were well worth catching – one on Calvin & Hobbes, and The Goodies. A few years ago, I saw him an event where he interviewed Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden – Jupitus wore his love for The Goodies on his sleeve (e.g. talking about at school, playing with friends as The Goodies) which I rather liked but in any case, he did a very good job; he knew when to shut up and when to guide the discussion.

Rather surprised that his long stint on BBC 6 hasn't been mentioned.

[Petey Pate]

Phill Jupitus did a revival of 'Porky the Poet' at the Edinburgh Fringe a few years ago.  I'm pretty sure someone on here went to see it and reported back saying that one his jokes was that if you search 'Google' in Google it breaks the internet.

[Barry Admin]

This is really interesting. What signs do you pick up on?

A fascination with The Hulk. The loneliest super hero.

[Icehaven]

Wherrre the fuck is Mark Lamarr, Mark Lamarr?
Wherrre the fuck is Mark Lamarr, Mark Lamarr?
His eyes and ears and mouth and car,
Wherrre the fuck is Mark Lamarr, Mark Lamarr?

[Shit Good Nose]

I just don't find him funny. On TV at least. I've never seen him live.

I think he's fine and can be amusing on panel shows, however live (I've seen him several times over the years) he is dogshit.  His act basically comprises of Chewbacca impression and then endless swearing.  Repeat.

I also saw him during his lead singer tenure in the Bonzos (before he set up the Idiot Bastards), and have to say he was excellent.

[Dr Syntax Head]

The silver man story from 15 Storeys is one of my favourite comedy moments.

"This time it looks like it's custodial"

[checkoutgirl]

I read somewhere a few years ago that David Walliams commands roughly £50,000 for a single appearance on 8 Out of 10 Cats or what have you. So Lamaar would have been earning probably 10 to 15 grand a show in the 1990s just for Buzzcocks. Shooting Stars would have paid a few quid per show as well. Add in peripherals like the odd appearance, DJing in clubs and radio etc etc and I wouldn't be surprised if he earned 3 or 4 million in the 1990s, maybe more but certainly a couple of million at the absolute least. You wouldn't even have to invest to make that kind of money last but usually people immediately invest in property when they find themselves wealthy, first a home and then maybe a little portfolio. Not everyone earns 100 million and blows the lot on tigers and cocaine jacuzzis like MC Hammer or Mike Tyson.

There is no way on Earth he is skint now unless he invested in a load of bad deals or had a coke/gambling/divorce habit which I'm not aware of him having. The dolescum on here saying Lamaar is skint is pretty laughable. He's fine.

Also the idea someone already said that if someone who used to be a personality on telly isn't constantly working and in the public eye that this means they've disappeared. He probably just wants to pursue his interests. And if popping into Poundworld for a few Quavers is desolation then the desolation bar has been lowered to the point that just popping to the shop qualifies, which I think is a bit weird.

I've never been a big fan of his, I've heard stories of him going to the notorious Tunnel Club and absolutely dominating the audience. Also stories of him chatting up birds left right and centre and thumping people who get in his way abound. So I give him grudging respect. He's not the type to back down.

He's almost certainly a bit of a prick, him and his mate Sean Lock are a right couple of cunts I'd say.

[Shit Good Nose]

Also the idea someone already said that if someone who used to be a personality on telly isn't constantly working and in the public eye that this means they've disappeared.

Bill Withers a good example - as soon as he made enough money to support his family for the rest of his life, he quit the music business in his late 40s.  As the doc from a few years ago proved, he's doing absolutely fine.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Bill Withers a good example - as soon as he made enough money to support his family for the rest of his life, he quit the music business in his late 40s.  As the doc from a few years ago proved, he's doing absolutely fine.

I for one respect that

[Wet Blanket]

I read somewhere a few years ago that David Walliams commands roughly £50,000

I doubt that very much. Sara Pascoe referenced an average panel show appearance being £700, so even if Walliams' star power can generate 10x as much he's still not gonna be getting anywhere near £50grand. I read that Peter Kay was charging £40,000 per gig on his last tour, so maybe that's what Walliams was getting for live performances.

[false edit] I looked it up and its what he got per night to present that ITV chat show that flopped.

Nevertheless you're right that Lamarr probably made a decent enough wedge in his 90s heyday. Plus the options aren't between fabulously wealthy and Quavers-eating poverty. He might be making a living working in some other less glamorous area of the industry

[gilbertharding]

Innit. I used to have the idea that "...appearing on telly was just a job like any other, and a pretty unsteady one at that", and laughed at the idea that they were all millionaires.

Then I happened to see a documentary where various 'celebrities' learned to drive. One of the celebrities was the actor who played Third Banana on BBC3 perpetu-comedy Two Pints of Lager (apparently it was Will Mellor). The documentary showed him at home, in his house.

Fucking hell - it was enormous, brand new, standing on an acre of its own. I mean, it was hideous, but honestly...

All that money for being shit in something that was shit.

[Wet Blanket]

I saw an episode of Through the Keyhole where it was either a Corrie or an Emmerdale actor's house and he was rich as fuck. Although I suppose they'd argue their wealth is precarious. Didn't Frank Skinner lose a load of dosh at some point, forcing him back on the road?

[Ignatius_S]

Angus Deayton said that he, Hislop and Merton got £50,000 each per episode of HIGNFY.

[biggytitbo]

Most of these minor comedians appear on panel shows for exposure rather than money don't they? Maybe an impact on one of them and they might get their own show, or at least the touring and potential dvd sales etc could hit big.

[Shit Good Nose]

Most of these minor comedians appear on panel shows for exposure rather than money don't they?

Slightly different deal back then, but both Bill Bailey and Dominic "now earning a fortune on the corporate circuit, and father of current Spiderman" Holland had national tours very quickly arranged after, and because of, appearances on Des O'Connor very early on in their careers.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Innit. I used to have the idea that "...appearing on telly was just a job like any other, and a pretty unsteady one at that", and laughed at the idea that they were all millionaires.

Then I happened to see a documentary where various 'celebrities' learned to drive. One of the celebrities was the actor who played Third Banana on BBC3 perpetu-comedy Two Pints of Lager (apparently it was Will Mellor). The documentary showed him at home, in his house.

Fucking hell - it was enormous, brand new, standing on an acre of its own. I mean, it was hideous, but honestly...

All that money for being shit in something that was shit.

This is why when Bob Mortimer denies being a millionaire when Andy Dawson asks him questions on Athletico Mince I know he's probably telling a fib. All those series of Shooting Stars+tours+adverts+everything else in the 90s = a fair old packet earned I reckon (and there's nowt wrong with that).

[Dr Rock]

This is really interesting. What signs do you pick up on?

Blodders had it right - 'likes being alone for example - Black sheep - collecting'

I'd look for someone who seems alienated or doesn't feel like they fit in. Authority issues. Trust issues. The bit about Lamarr going out looking for fights is interesting, it suggests a general anger at society, the same society that inflicted trauma on him at birth. Arrogance, possibly to mask feelings of lack of worth.

Being a 'womaniser' could mean an attempt to show he's better than others, desirable (as opposed to being unwanted), promiscuity is recorded as high amongst adoptees, and it could mask mixed feelings about women, like the one who 'dumped' him (his mum) - now he's going to dump them (this is usually not consciously realised as behaviour common to adoptees, because society doesn't discuss them, so an adoptee could think they were making free choices, but were in part driven by the events of their birth, feelings of abandonment and the very mixed reactions to the relationship with the adopted family - often fierce loyalty if the adopted parents are decent).

Identity issues - did he change his name to Lamarr for Equity reasons? I reckon he was a stand-up before needing to join, so chose a different surname for himself, which is a bit of a clue. It's not an exact science, but these are the sort of things that make me go hmm. As does getting on stage wanting attention and validation - although this is common with most people who become an actor or join a band, these people often have some trauma or abandonment issues that make this seem like a solution. When it doesn't fill the hole, when the heat of the spotlight doesn't warm the coldness in their soul, they often go off the rails, or withdraw or get depressed.

Rob Newman is adopted. There are a few of the above that fit him I'd say. same with Stewart Lee. I tick a lot of those boxes too, as does my adopted brother (even though in most respects we are very different people).

Mark Lamarr could of course not be adopted, he may have some events in his past that might give him certain personality traits, or he might just be genetically inclined to be a bit of an arsehole.

[Shit Good Nose]

This is why when Bob Mortimer denies being a millionaire when Andy Dawson asks him questions on Athletico Mince I know he's probably telling a fib. All those series of Shooting Stars+tours+adverts+everything else in the 90s = a fair old packet earned I reckon (and there's nowt wrong with that).

Vic DEFINITELY lives in a massive house, with acres of land.

[Dr Rock]

This is why when Bob Mortimer denies being a millionaire when Andy Dawson asks him questions on Athletico Mince I know he's probably telling a fib. All those series of Shooting Stars+tours+adverts+everything else in the 90s = a fair old packet earned I reckon (and there's nowt wrong with that).

Well I know where he'd have blown a fortune, but it's not for me to say...

[checkoutgirl]

All that money for being shit in something that was shit.

That's it. Lamaar made an absolute fortune, no doubt about it. Most people in TV make fuck all but most people on telly aren't hosting a very successful TV show on the BBC watched by millions year after year. A comedian like Sarah Pascoe on a panel show is a low status nobody who is probably desperate for the exposure. Lamarr would have built a reputation and after a year or two would be in a much stronger position and could negotiate a much better deal. Or rather his agent would have a good knowledge of the going rate and negotiate that much better deal.

The chance of Lamaar working on those show for years and accepting £700 and a sandwich per appearance is 0%.

[Jockice]

Blodders had it right - 'likes being alone for example - Black sheep - collecting'

I'd look for someone who seems alienated or doesn't feel like they fit in. Authority issues. Trust issues. The bit about Lamarr going out looking for fights is interesting, it suggests a general anger at society, the same society that inflicted trauma on him at birth. Arrogance, possibly to mask feelings of lack of worth.

But then again, there was a girl in my class at school whose mother was one of the teachers. Or so I thought. Nice girl, not a troublemaker or anything, I went for a drink with her last year and found out that she was adopted. She became a policewoman.