Amiable Ed

[Spoon of Ploff]

Not a bad word to say about anybody... always looks on the bright side. Today some youth shouted at him from across the way. "Oi. F.ck Off back to Bermondsey you pale skinned ponce!" a-and he just laughed and wished them a lovely afternoon. Later, some pensioner hissed at him "You fox loving scrotum, I hope you die in one of them ISIS stabbings!" to wish he merely asked after their mum, and not in a sinister way.

I wonder what it would take to truly rile our Amiable Ed?

[Glebe]

"LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT UTTER FUCKING PRICK!"

He loves the local banter, does Amiable Ed!

[BlodwynPig]

Legend Gary thwacks 80 quids worth of ASDA shopping from the hands of Amiable Ed. Eggs and beans, eggs and beans, and some liver, splattered across the road. "Wazzzzock" Gary brays. Everyone is laughing.

"Not to worry lad, I'll sort this mess out" as a lorry sprays the contents, now mixed with rainwater and detritus, all over his new lambswool cardigan.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Legend Gary thwacks 80 quids worth of ASDA shopping from the hands of Amiable Ed. Eggs and beans, eggs and beans, and some liver, splattered across the road. "Wazzzzock" Gary brays. Everyone is laughing.

"Not to worry lad, I'll sort this mess out" as a lorry sprays the contents, now mixed with rainwater and detritus, all over his new lambswool cardigan.

Amiable Ed does a little antelope dance and sings 'I'll let the rain be my umbrella.'
'And this detritus' will make a fine bubble and squeak for the orphans of war orphans down at the orphanage.'

[Spoon of Ploff]

"LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT UTTER FUCKING PRICK!"

He loves the local banter, does Amiable Ed!

"breath out slowly... just let the terror go. how about i buy you a pie and a pint over at the Fork It and Peeler? Their selection of real ales isn't half bad."

says Amiable Ed.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Amiable Ed reads an article about the love life of John Le Mesurier, taking particular interest in him cunting off to live in his own back room when his then-wife Hattie Jacques moved her new fella in.

"Fair enough, that. I reckon I'd do the same," he thinks to himself.

[Fishfinger]

"You're not Miles Jupp. You'll never beeee Miles Jupp." In the privacy of his upholstered Mum-cube he clutches his temples and roars to silence the voices. Thus fortified, Amiable Ed maintains the front for another autumnal 5-a-side try-out.

[Glebe]

"Chuckle, go on, lads, steal my wallet! There's 200 quid in there, and I can always cancel my credit cards... now, go and get your lovely heroin fix, it's all you have in life, after all! Take care, now! Don't overdo it!"

As he walks on up the pier, 200 quid down and with only minor(ish) bruising, Ed notices a seagull looking at him. He could almost swear he saw it wink...