Author Topic: Puffed Siadin  (Read 4994 times)

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Puffed Siadin
« on: October 28, 2017, 01:27:57 PM »
Puffed Siadin kept draughts.

Not drafts.  Or collections of the sub-chess board game; no.

He kept draughts.  Just like his mother used to make.  Perhaps that’s why he did it.


Puffed Siadin was in Armitage.  He would “dine out” on stories about meeting a famous man there.  Nobody could work out who.

Puffed Siadin was in the bayliff industry.  He kept good time.

His wife was forever getting in and out of sleeping bags.  She literally could not stop herself doing it, even when they had to go for a walk or catch a taxi.


Puffed Siadin.

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2017, 06:03:11 PM »
He owned a small law firm in Glencoe in the '80s. Enjoys a bit of fishing on the weekend. Knows Rory McIlroy.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2017, 10:31:27 PM »
New Ancient Grains cereal from Kellogg

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2017, 12:59:59 PM »
What else about Puffed Siadin?

Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2017, 01:07:45 PM »
Puffed Siadin often dreamt that a great bear came down from the mountain and watched through his window whilst he slept.
He would ask his besleepingbagged wife if she knew how to set traps.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2017, 12:56:40 AM »
Puffed Siadin.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2017, 02:43:45 AM »
Doesn’t know where he’s from, or where he’s going. Just sets some traps.

Wife loses limb in night

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2017, 02:50:52 AM »
Holiday home in Guernsey. Knew Ronnie Kray.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2017, 02:56:29 AM »
I just met a man called Forsythe Glebe in a bar. He didn’t know this site

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2017, 03:01:59 AM »
I just met a man called Forsythe Glebe in a bar. He didn’t know this site


Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2017, 06:22:28 AM »
Puffed Siadin takes havoc to new extremes.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2017, 06:43:22 AM »
Puffed Siadin inherited from somewhere the equipment used to light street gas lamps.  Has it all in his bedroom leaning against the wall.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2017, 04:05:35 PM »
Puffed Siadin loans his buddy Ensleigh a copy of the book ‘Luton For Idiots’.

Ensleigh knows he can trust Puffed Siadin to provide things like that.

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2017, 06:30:00 PM »
Mates with Tim Wonnacott. The pair are often seen enjoying a pint at The Flussock's Nutkin.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2017, 06:46:31 PM »
Puffed Siadin has taken his wife's beloved crate of Droning Memorabilia from the attic and is threatening to send it to either a car boot sale or the charity shop.  She is in tears, begging him not to.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2017, 10:26:14 PM »
Puffed Siadin has his cock resting on a bookmark, and he is carrying it into the lounge to show his wife.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2017, 11:15:52 PM »
Puffed Siadin has all this bread.  Loads of it.  Starts putting it all in the bin.  Gets locked into a trance shoving all this bread into the bin.

Wife is woken up by the din of all this bread being binned.  Thinks it might be a burglary in progress.  Almost trips up trying to get out of her sleeping bag to find out what's going on.

She rushes into the kitchen.  There her husband is.  Puffed Siadin putting so much bread in the bin that you wouldn't believe.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2017, 11:30:02 PM »
Puffed Siadin has his eyes on a loan shark.  Or a lawn shark.  He has his eyes on a shark on his lawn that one of his neighbours put there this morning on loan.

He is wondering what you're supposed to do with a shark on your lawn.  How should you get water on it?  Is it only necessary for a shark to be kept damp, like an elephant or hippo?  Or must water be constantly pumped through its gills to keep it energised?


He decides that what he has is probably called a "loaned shark," and the fact it's on his lawn is neither here nor there.  Good though.

Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #18 on: November 02, 2017, 11:39:13 PM »
Puffed Siadin closes his eyes and watches pornography live from the filth pocket of his brain.
His wife never leaves her sleeping bag now. She inches through the house leaving vermicular trails in the carpet. He can see where she's been up on the sofa and down again.
"Shall we buy something that is called a 'computer'?" he absent-mindedly asks her, watching the unlimited sweat show behind his eyelids.
He receives no answer.

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2017, 12:39:29 AM »
Once lost five grand in a poker game with Richard Branston.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2017, 12:34:38 PM »
Puffed Siadin begins to mark time in his house by gouging a notch in a door frame every day.  Into each notch is inserted one of his wife’s hairs.

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #21 on: November 03, 2017, 06:59:04 PM »
Came out of a long depression during a weekend boating trip in New Hampshire. A few beers and some deep conversation with Ernie, his oldest friend and best man at his wedding, brought him round. Afterwards, his motto became, "Y'gotta give a little but y'gotta give a lot."

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #22 on: November 03, 2017, 07:34:34 PM »
Puffed Siadin dreamt that he had a pantry installed in his basement at great expense.  It was a very lucid dream, took about a week's worth of dream time, and several hundred thousand pounds of dream money.

He hardly uses his basement.  One day he strolled down there to find a screwdriver he reckoned he'd mislaid six years ago.  Huh, a pantry.  Weird.

itsfredtitmus

  • screwdriver lolly
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #23 on: November 03, 2017, 07:39:16 PM »
language timothy

Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #24 on: November 03, 2017, 10:36:46 PM »
Puffed Siadin buys a combination rat-and-mouse "rouse" trap. His wife protests that no such creature exists. "It is only a mouse, or it is only a rat. The two do not combine" she moans, but it's no use.

Puffed Siadin in an unlit room, his thoughts flowing into the soft valleys of his own hands. Small and bearded, watching everything go dark. His wife rolls into the room, car keys in her mouth. "I need a lift to the Government Foodstores" she says. "The radio, it told of a new kind of music, and I need to listen, but not on an empty stomach, love."

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #25 on: November 03, 2017, 11:01:00 PM »
Has owned a few acres in Suffolk since the 1970's. Hasn't done anything with them. They're just sitting there, mate. Just sitting there.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2017, 11:03:58 PM »
Puffed Siadin takes bags of cement up to the roof of his home.  The emptying of these into the wind will be his fireworks display this weekend.  The kids on the adjacent crescent and the street above will love this.

Up the ladder he goes, through his attic and into the fresh air of the space above his roof.  He has his bags of cement with him.

He unbuckles each bag of cement.  He wields them, and he releases the dust.


HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT EVERYONE.




Hopefully nobody will assume that they were somebody's ashes.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2017, 12:34:10 AM »
Puffin Siaded asks Generous Seagull to get his sand eels back from Wanker Heron.

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #28 on: November 05, 2017, 12:43:28 AM »
Puffin Siaded asks Generous Seagull to get his sand eels back from Wanker Heron.

Never gonna happen. Never gonna happen.

Howj Begg

  • Member
  • **
  • They raised a beetroot in the air...
Re: Puffed Siadin
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2017, 12:49:28 AM »
Puffed Siadin lives by the sea