Nigerian entrepeneurs- a complete waste of time?

[TraceyQ]

The Nigerians have moved into selling technology that some people on here may find very interesting....

419eater forum

[Frinky]

Oh man!

[Adrian Brezhnev]

Got this email yesterday.....

Dear ****,

I am barrister Kenneth Dibaba a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr. Victor ****, a national of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Company in Lome (Republic of Togo). Herein after shall be referred to as my client.

On the 21st of April 2003, my late client, his wife and their two children were involved in a fatal car accident along sagbama express road, all occupants of the vehicle burnt to ashes. Ever since then, I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family members hence I contacted you.

My Late client left a lot of money in a security deposit company here as well as bought many other valuable properties worth millions of dollars. I have contacted you to repatriate his huge cash deposit and properties before they get confiscated or the security company declares the deposit unserviceable. I have all documents to this deposit and copy of his last will indicating all his properties. all I require is your assistance to relocate especially his cash deposits with the security company.

Your soonest response is anticipated.

Thanks

Yours faithfully

Kenneth Dibaba (Esq.)

**** Victor has the same surname as me apparently.

It's not technically spam, since it seems to be individually targeted, so I didn't want to put it in that thread. And he's not Nigerian, but I wasn't sure what other thread to put this in.

Anyway, it would appear that some of my distant relatives have been burnt to ashes after a car accident on the sagbama express road. Sad news, but apparently this means that I am now in line for a "huge cash deposit and properties". Lucky me! I think this one deserves a reply... anybody got any suggestions?

[The Boston Crab]

Tell him you sabotaged their car and have already been paid off by Kenneth Dibaba.

[chimpoo]

Nought to do with the 419ers, but my Nigerian flatmate took off without a word yesterday, leaving all the bills and so forth.  Cut to 6:00am this morning and the immigration police raided my flat (armed with a door battering-ram and everything), 'though they wouldn't tell us why exactly, only that they were, ahem, looking for him.

Not to tar the great Nigerian people with the same brush or anything, but he's done little to wash away the sterotype.  Funny guy was Frank and I'll miss his 'fuckin crazeeee' laugh, even if he did crank up the heating bills astronomically to replicate the African sun.

[Purple Tentacle]

Since it's Friday, and slow on here, I've just had a look at my spam box and, among the hundreds of wonderful individuals offering me a bigger cock or medication, were these fine individuals

Civility J. Spermicides
Mariana Darling
Tort T. Willie
Relevance Catboat
George E. Trendy

and my personal favourite

Roach Q. Guff


Ha ha ha. Haaa. Ha. Ahem.

[Lu tze]

"From Sgt. Duncan Czar
of D Company, 2nd Battalion,
22nd Infantry Regiment

3rd Junly,2006.

Good day,
I am Sergeant Duncan Czar, an American Soldier. I am serving in the US Army of D Company, 2nd Battalion 22nd,Infantary Regiment, Iraq. As you know we are being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs.
I and my crew members discovered $650M USD in Saddam Hussein's palace in April 2003. We now managed to move away a total sum US$45 Million dollars cash out from the $650MUSD, mostly 100-dollar bills and was quickly flown out of the warzone and deposited in an undisclosed security company Europe,You can as well click on the website for more details about the funds.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

Unfortunately, the rest of my crew members have lost their lives to the wicked Iraq insurgents.Also very soon all the troops will be withdrawn  from Iraq, I therefore seek your partnership to assist me transfer  these funds into your account and invest the funds without further  delay.I will take 65% while you take the other 30% and 5% will be for expences,no strings.
If you are interested I will send you the full details but my fear is  Can I trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers in order to forward to the Security company for the release of the funds  in your names or your company. This business is risk free.

Respectfully,
Sgt Duncan Czar"

Anybody..........? Anybody..........?  You! Yes. You boy.

Can we he trust us?

[Phillippe Lambert]

Not a Nigerian, and i'm not convinced it's spam, but i got this email, straight to my inbox...

Hello Son : I'm a soccer fan now . Forget football ( NFL). baseball sucks. Soccer raigns supreme . Hope you are watching the games . In Mexico city , Brrrraaaavo is sticking the Iranians . Boy do I dislike the Iranians . They have caused so much trouble .Go USA . They play tomorrow against the Chec Republic.
How is everything . I miss not hearing something but do like and appreciate the emails and occasional phone calls .
Megan , will  be moving to an apartment this month so we will get our main bedroom back then . Gail is painting while I'm enjoying the games .
Guitar picking is always on the agenda .Hope you are playing all you can . The women love it ,especially when you sing .
  Hang in there james . Remember to place your order
for you birthday coming up . What do you need ?
  Love you son and miss ya a lot
    love Dad

Needless to say, this is not my Dad, and I'm not quite sure why he's emailing me saying he is... Haven't yet got round to replying, but the offer of birthday presents is very tempting...

[hencole]

Not a Nigerian, and i'm not convinced it's spam, but i got this email, straight to my inbox...

Hello Son : I'm a soccer fan now . Forget football ( NFL). baseball sucks. Soccer raigns supreme . Hope you are watching the games . In Mexico city , Brrrraaaavo is sticking the Iranians . Boy do I dislike the Iranians . They have caused so much trouble .Go USA . They play tomorrow against the Chec Republic.
How is everything . I miss not hearing something but do like and appreciate the emails and occasional phone calls .
Megan , will  be moving to an apartment this month so we will get our main bedroom back then . Gail is painting while I'm enjoying the games .
Guitar picking is always on the agenda .Hope you are playing all you can . The women love it ,especially when you sing .
  Hang in there james . Remember to place your order
for you birthday coming up . What do you need ?
  Love you son and miss ya a lot
    love Dad

Needless to say, this is not my Dad, and I'm not quite sure why he's emailing me saying he is... Haven't yet got round to replying, but the offer of birthday presents is very tempting...

I'd give him your bank details and wait for the cash to roll in.

But in reaility I'd email him back saying he has the wrong email address  I'd invent a story in my head that involved the father/son relationship breaking up due to this one email not being answered. In fact it's already bugging me now.

[Pepotamo1985]

It's amazing that these jokers are still at it. Surely everyone, even those who could feasibly be stupid enough to fall for scams such as these, know full well that it's a whole bunch of crap? Merely typing the term 'Nigerian money' into google brings up endless debunkings of this potential fraud.

[Borboski]

I send them a goatse now with a stern telling off.

Bastards.

[LeboviciAB84]

Before I empty my junk e-mail folder, I want to save this for posterity.

From :  Archie <uwyoihmtj>
Reply-To :  "Archie" <uwyoihmtj>
Sent :  07 July 2006 06:55:36
To :  <akcarrick>
Subject :  let's meet
 
Do nobt ignore me please,
I found your embail somewhere and now decidedb to writae you.
b
I am coming to your bplace in few weeks and thought we
cban meet each other. Let me know if you do not mind.
I am a nice pretty gbirl. Don't reply to this email.
Email me direclty at ukcsh@globalmobpost.com

[chav]

Anyone seen this one? (scroll about halfway down) Basically it's the tale of the oh-so-clever Westerner who persuaded a Nigerian man to have a tattoo reading "baited by Shiver" etched onto his arm, to punish him for the crime of being ill-educated and desperate. It really isn't on. "They're criminals", they say - when did it become a crime to ask for money? Just ignore it, fat Westerner.

[Ignatius_S]

They're criminals", they say - when did it become a crime to ask for money?.

And there was I thinking that it's a crime to try and obtain money under false pretences...

[LeboviciAB84]

I heard that a friend of a friend had replied to one of those e-mails, saying, "Alright, I'll pay the deposit, but just so I know you're not one of those scammers, could you deposit twenty pounds in my account?" And it worked!

[TraceyQ]

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=87955&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Interesting new modality.

[butnut]

You have to be logged in to see that.

[TraceyQ]

Ah, ok, soz.. one minute...

here we go...

ATTENTION Firstly, not to cause you embarrassment, I am Mrs. Terri Irwin;
widow to late Mr. Steve Irwin a National of Australia,
the director of the Australia Zoo in Queensland, Australia,
and host of Animal Planet's series The Crocodile Hunter.
On Monday, 4 September 2006, My Husband dead prior to a stingray barb
that pierced his chest, according to Cairns police sources. Unfortunately
before the death of my husband, we had a deposit with
HSBC Bank of London, valued presently 11million pounds Sterling,
which we did not disclose to anybody it's only within me and my husband and our private Lawyer in the Uk.
I was informed that the bank is planning to use the money for nuclear weapons.
This is because am suffering from cancer illness.
From all indications my condition is really deteriorating
and it's quite obvious that
I may not get better quickly or live long according
to my doctors. I have pray over this before I contacted you.
Cause I want you to use 60% of the fund to contribute
to the development of the Church and Mosque in Africa, America,
Asia and Europe. While the rest 40% belongs to you for the less privileged. Conclusively.
I honestly pray that when this fund get claimed.
Will be used for the said purpose, my private attorney in Uk
will be in charge to prepare all the legal documentations
that will authenticate you as the next of kin/will beneficiary
to my late husband. Please get in touch with my attorney
urgently for more details, with the below Email;
Name: Barrister. Antony Edward Email: barr.antonyedward@yahoo.co.uk Thanks for your understanding
my they lord be with you.
Best Regard Mrs. Terri Irwin.

How far do you think they will get with that one?

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Nuclear weapons, eh?  Well I know Steve was a staunch supporter of John Howard's rightwing Bushlicking policies, so you never know...  :-)

EDIT:  Sorry, I just realised what I wrote.  To clarify, when I say Bushlicking, I mean being overly friendly to George W and his policies, not making oral sex illegal.