Author Topic: The Bad Sex awards in fiction  (Read 3286 times)

Fambo Number Mive

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The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« on: November 24, 2017, 06:39:50 PM »
To be awarded next week. Vince Cable's book will not be shortlisted.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42113877

What works of fiction do you think have the worst scenes of intercourse?


Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2017, 07:36:40 PM »
My autobiography (upcoming)

bgmnts

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2017, 08:16:33 PM »
My Angrew Lloyg Wegger biography.

Serge

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 09:11:45 PM »
Much as I love George Pelecanos, I wish he'd cut all of the sex scenes out his books. This is from when he was nominated for the Bad Sex Awards a couple of years ago:

Quote
She tickled my anus as she licked my balls and shaft, and slathered her tongue on my helmet. I laced my fingers through her hair and closed my eyes.

"Go."I said.

I stopped breathing and, like her, invoked a high power.

Most of them read like the Marlboro Man having sex, and nobody needs to read that.


Catalogue Trousers

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2017, 05:42:47 PM »
In all honesty, let's just call a cock a cock, a fanny a fanny, and a fuck a fuck. Bad sex writing is usually the stuff full of pretentious or just plain daft symbolism or metaphors - 'my Inner Goddess is beating out a Samba' and such shite. In fact, the average writer of fap fiction in the Mayfairs and Men Onlys of the day in the 70s and 80s was generally a better author than any of these lofty twots.

bgmnts

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2017, 09:37:41 PM »
How do write critically and artistically good sex in fiction?

Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2017, 10:32:32 PM »
Quote
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42186736

Christopher Bollen takes the gold!

newbridge

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2017, 02:31:00 AM »
Christopher Bollen takes the gold!

Those nominees doesn't read that bad to me, really. At least the excerpts provided.

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2020, 12:26:20 PM »
Seems that this year's Bad Sex award has been cancelled, a couple of days ago.

An ideal opportunity, then, to bump this ancient thread - as I've recently penned a short story and have attempted to include a brief sex scene, which I keep reading back to myself, convinced that it is like something out of the Talbot Rothwell guide to literature. Has anyone among the Cab Shelf Abusers written erotica or anything stronger, and if so what advice can you offer to prevent a scribe from ending up competing with Titchmarsh and Melvyn Bragg?

Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2020, 04:56:19 PM »
Seems that this year's Bad Sex award has been cancelled, a couple of days ago.

An ideal opportunity, then, to bump this ancient thread - as I've recently penned a short story and have attempted to include a brief sex scene, which I keep reading back to myself, convinced that it is like something out of the Talbot Rothwell guide to literature. Has anyone among the Cab Shelf Abusers written erotica or anything stronger, and if so what advice can you offer to prevent a scribe from ending up competing with Titchmarsh and Melvyn Bragg?

Putting away your sex thesaurus seems to be the key to avoiding one of these lists

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2020, 09:44:13 PM »
Seems that this year's Bad Sex award has been cancelled, a couple of days ago.

An ideal opportunity, then, to bump this ancient thread - as I've recently penned a short story and have attempted to include a brief sex scene, which I keep reading back to myself, convinced that it is like something out of the Talbot Rothwell guide to literature. Has anyone among the Cab Shelf Abusers written erotica or anything stronger, and if so what advice can you offer to prevent a scribe from ending up competing with Titchmarsh and Melvyn Bragg?
Hello, fanfiction author of seventeen years and purveyor of smut starring other people's characters here. I offer the following advice:

1) Match the language in the sex scene with the prose of your overall story. "I fucked her harder and harder, spewing my jizz up her cunt" is going to be jarring if you haven't employed any curse words or coarse language up to that point. Similarly, avoid childish language and double entendres unless it's a comedy story.

2) Avoid overly flowery euphemisms. "He eased himself inside her" - fine. "He parted the gates of her lady-garden with his rod of power" - shame on you and your family.

3) I find focusing on how the characters feel (both in terms of emotion and sensation) rather than what's going where makes a sex scene work better. It's easier to empathise with the characters and get turned on. Bear in mind I'm a woman, men may respond to written erotica differently.

4) "Large", "big", "soft" and "thick" are all perfectly fine words. "Her DD breasts" "his 7 inch erection" - unless the people involved have a measuring tape out, don't do it.

5) If you're not sure about the sex scene and can't make it work, "fading to black" (e.g. "Taking my hand, she led me to the bedroom. [NEXT PARAGRAPH IS THE AFTERGLOW]") is perfectly acceptable. Especially if what's important to the story is that the characters had sex, rather than the sex scene itself.

kidsick5000

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2020, 12:54:19 PM »
"The Bad Sex awards in fiction"

Does that mean there's a Bad Sex Award in fact?

boki

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2020, 01:45:41 PM »
"The Bad Sex awards in fiction"

Does that mean there's a Bad Sex Award in fact?
[alexander_boris_de_pfeffel_johnson.jpg]

Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2020, 03:17:59 PM »
The Bald Sex awards having been awarded to the same individual for 5 years in a row means interest in them is low.

bgmnts

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2020, 05:08:06 PM »
I spaffed my essence up her foof.

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Re: The Bad Sex awards in fiction
« Reply #15 on: December 16, 2020, 12:47:30 AM »
I started to cry all over her face and tits.

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