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Thread Ideas that are too shit to even make a thread in H.S. Art about.

Started by JoeyBananaduck, November 30, 2017, 11:58:27 AM

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pancreas




JoeyBananaduck

Subj: Derby WMC Crapfest 2017

Don't miss it. Word to the wise - the council has finally lifted the restrictions so Rusty Bob says the pile of shite is going to be 'absolutely fucking massive' this year.

Fambo Number Mive

What do you type when you accidentally lean on your computer keyboard?


Spoon of Ploff

Lets all wildly speculate about the fate of The Day Today's "I'm just worried about all these fit ups" guy.

Spoon of Ploff


Dex Sawash

Just got share bikes in my town but we have no canals or other bodies of water to chuck the share bikes in. What should I do?

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on December 06, 2017, 08:13:08 PM
Plot ideas for the new Doctor WHO

The Doctor buys a cake but the cherries are actually Cyberspores and when he does a poo a whole Cyberman comes out of his bum.

Ray Travez

Can't-Get-Things-Back-Into-Their-Original-Containers Carl

Can't-Get-Things-Back-Into-Their-Original-Containers Carl goes camping. When it's time to pack and leave, Can't-Get-Things-Back-Into-Their-Original-Containers Carl can't get his tent back into the tent bag. Or the pegs back in the tent peg bag. Or his cock and balls into his underpants.


JoeyBananaduck

Some sort of Unseen Carry-Ons thread beginning with something about Carry On Alone which was made during a union strike and features sole returning member Barbara Windsor morosely flicking her bean into a single locked-off camera for 85 minutes.

pancreas



doppelkorn


doppelkorn

And evidently this shit. Had it in my head for two days now.

I thought I saw a man with orange hair.
He told jokes, his bowtie span, he wore green underwear.
He tried to touch me up down there.

You could have been that man with massive shoes.
You don't seem to know, seem to care, all you do is use.
You really gave my arse the blues.

There's nothing where it used to be
I've been rushed to A+E
That's what's going on
My ringpiece has torn
I'm a fucking mess
I'm covered in his spunk
Milked and wizened on the floor

He's gone back home to change
Into something clean
He's coming back and I can see the evil in his wig
Leave me here to die
My ringpiece has torn...

Gregory Torso

TED FIGHTS

Danson vs Nugent!
Bovis vs Rogers!
Cruz vs Bundy!
Super vs Billand!

doppelkorn


Spoon of Ploff

CABers sing some of their fav songs while suffering from severe head colds...

Actually thats a bloody good idea.. too good for HSArt.

Ferris

Cryptic Crossword clues that don't have an answer

Across
1 - "A big mixup for the Vicar, we hear. Fixed by the weekend?" [1,7]
2 - "A milliner returns; no chance of reprieve though!" [4,1,2,4]
3 - "Grubbing for berries, or raining cats and dogs? A shocking scenario!" [7]

etc etc

Janie Jones

Quote from: doppelkorn on December 13, 2017, 09:05:36 PM
And evidently this shit. Had it in my head for two days now.

I thought I saw a man with orange hair.
He told jokes, his bowtie span, he wore green underwear.
He tried to touch me up down there.

You could have been that man with massive shoes.
You don't seem to know, seem to care, all you do is use.
You really gave my arse the blues.

There's nothing where it used to be
I've been rushed to A+E
That's what's going on
My ringpiece has torn
I'm a fucking mess
I'm covered in his spunk
Milked and wizened on the floor

He's gone back home to change
Into something clean
He's coming back and I can see the evil in his wig
Leave me here to die
My ringpiece has torn...

This is brilliant.

doppelkorn

Thanks :)

Opened up this tragic thread to post a topical ditty. To the tune of Good King Wenceslas, and must be sang in a posh voice for the rhyme to work:

Captain Gloylot once licked out, ninety Shropshire Alans.
All their clothes lay round about, shredded by his talons.
They bumgasméd all at once, shatt'ring Gloylot's glasses.
His revenge was swift and just -- now they have no a-AAAA-rses.

Dex Sawash



Famous Mortimer


doppelkorn

🎼 Sign your name across my bulb, I want you to own my peen-rod...

JoeyBananaduck

Something with Jack Nance as a costumed vigilante who's trademark is kicking people in the bollocks.

"Herrrre's onnnne for your ol' haaaappy saaaack."