The Best Ads Ever! (Formerly Ads from Hell)

[poison popcorn]

yeah, there's been a lot of we are watching you type ads recently, it is quite worrying. still the ad that pissed me off the most a while back was on butter. or st ivel gold to be exact... it featured some grinning laddish ordinary joetard with the quote: "i'm here, i'm new, spread the word!" i was so disgusted at this vapid stupid publicity seeking it took me a bit to clock the crap pun. like loads of people will be telling all their friends "yeah, heard about the new guy on the butter? um, he's new... ah, yeah, tell everyone." just stick your stupid pus on some butter and there's your ticket to fame. big reality jungle fame idol has a lot to answer for. fuck, i'm annoyed again.

and those ads where everything reminds the guy he's going to peg it... "it's my birthday, i've just won the lottery, i'm going to live in a castle in ibiza with 520 nymphomaniac models... just makes you think oh god i'm going to die..."

[Bonely Child]

I suppose in some ways this is more of a rant about a product than an advert, but it was tv advertising that brought it to my attention, so it's going here.

The problem: a young woman realises she hasn't cleaned her teeth this morning, and - shockingly - rubbing the sleeve of her jumper vaguely around her mouth doesn't have quite the same effect.

The solution: Orbit Professional Chewing Gum. Yeah, that's right. It's professional.

What the fuck is going on? At exactly what point did chewing gum get together and decide to divide its ranks up into amateur and professional? Are other brands of chewing gum doing a bit of work on the side - acting as substitute blu-tac perhaps - in order to make ends meet, while only this latest brand is truly dedicated to being chewing gum, and only chewing gum? I only wish I could have been a fly on the wall at the meeting (or "brainrush session" or whatever they call them now) where they decided to name this.  

And another thing: since when can you clean your teeth with chewing gum anyway? What utter fucking bollocks. Yeah, and I'll just have a quick rinse-round with a can of coke afterwards, eh, seeing as I've not got any mouthwash? Or would it only work if it was professional coke? You cunts.

[Gazeuse]

Yes, that 'professional' gum is daft.

So are products that are advertised like this...

"The complete haircare system"

"The complete cleaning system."

Yes, it's not just a product, but a 'system.' Must make it FANTASTIC!!!