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The evisceration of Jim Davidson

Started by Utter Shit, December 13, 2017, 09:52:45 AM

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Utter Shit

I could have sworn there was a relatively recent Jim Davidson thread but Google suggests nothing since 2014.

Anyway, this review of Jim's critically-acclaimed 1995 sex romp panto Sinderella appeared on my Twitter feed yesterday, and it's bloody brilliant.

https://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/i-watched-jim-davidsons-adult-panto/

Bhazor

#1
Full version of Sinderella on Youtube for the morbidly curious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nanmdLNVgOQ

Top comment is of course
"Exile 89 7 months ago
Good ol English humour. Shame it's now branded "racist" or "politically incorrect" R.i.p England and our great humour"

Big Mclargehuge

Quote from: Bhazor on December 13, 2017, 10:28:40 AM
Full version of Sinderella on Youtube for the morbidly curious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nanmdLNVgOQ
Jesus...Why did I click the link...WHY DID I CLICK THE LINK!?...Im about 10 minutes into this and I already long for deaths sweet release...

Jittlebags

Nice. Charlie Drake and a black Dildo.


imitationleather

I remember in the old days when you'd get a VHS and on the inside cover there'd be a load of thumbnails of other videos you could also buy. The 18 certificate of Sinderella sent my youthful mind into overdrive and I imagined it must be some crazy hardcore porn shit with a bit of comedy thrown in here and there (the sort that is now commonplace on yer HamsterHubs). I finally watched some of it on YouTube a few years back and, well, let's just say I was disappointed in every way possible.

Cuellar

The combination of sexual innuendo and insisting the audience pretend to be children is fine, it's absolutely fine.

As terrible as this is, I saw a version of Puss in Boots in Rotterdam a couple of years ago that was pretty similar. Full of racism and sex, but with real actual kids in the audience. Is that worse? I reckon so.

ieXush2i

Pantos are still going on with white Aladdins, Wishee-Washees, dodgy Abanazars up and down the country, from community halls to celeb-starring theatrical productions.

Mr Banlon


checkoutgirl

I've seen far worse than Sinderella. The two dames are decent enough value. If you go in with reasonably low expectations you might be pleasantly surprised.

Might be.


Shit Good Nose

From what I remember, Sinderella was inifinitely better than Jim's Boobs In the Wood.  Which isn't saying much.

ASFTSN

At this point in proceedings, Baron Hardon disappears from the story. Given Drake's performance, sleepwalking through muttered lines with the disdain of a man reading recently-discovered letters from his wife to her secret lover, presumably he was in the dressing room writing his suicide note, and cursing the fact he's not tall enough to sling a belt over the light fitting. Though when he does return, it's immediately obvious just how he spent that time [does the charades mime for 'necking back a load of booze'].

That's some high-grade stuff.  Surely this person is on CaB.

Jittlebags

According to Wikipedia (so it must be true):

"....being remembered for his opening catchphrase "Hello, my darlings!" The catchphrase came about because he was short, and so his eyes would often be naturally directly level with a lady's bosom. Because of this and because in his television work he preferred appearing with big-busted women, the catchphrase was born."


Utter Shit

Quote from: ASFTSN on December 13, 2017, 01:06:25 PM
At this point in proceedings, Baron Hardon disappears from the story. Given Drake's performance, sleepwalking through muttered lines with the disdain of a man reading recently-discovered letters from his wife to her secret lover, presumably he was in the dressing room writing his suicide note, and cursing the fact he's not tall enough to sling a belt over the light fitting. Though when he does return, it's immediately obvious just how he spent that time [does the charades mime for 'necking back a load of booze'].

That's some high-grade stuff.  Surely this person is on CaB.

Ahahaha yes. My favourite bit was when he described the audience as being filled with "gruff brickies, Sun-reading dunces, and football men who think crying over their child's cot-death is for poofs".

Cuellar

Watching a drunk Charlie Drake miming 'fingering a hitchhiker' while Jim Davidson bellows "YOU FONDLE A HITCHHIKER" at him is NOT something I had planned for today.

Cuellar


BlodwynPig

Quote from: Mr Banlon on December 13, 2017, 11:51:23 AM
This is better : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKKEEJx7A1k
It's still shit though.

So Davidson's claim that a mucky panto had never been done before was false?

Cuellar

I did enjoy scrolling down at the end of that review to see an advert for the author's book 'Charlie and Me'. Assuming it was about Charlie Drake I was halfway to Amazon to order it.

Turns out it's only about Charles Manson. Boring!

BlodwynPig

Is it true that Ricky Gervais starred in Boobs in the Wood. Davidson's natural heir.

Mini

Quote from: Utter Shit on December 13, 2017, 01:35:48 PM
Ahahaha yes. My favourite bit was when he described the audience as being filled with "gruff brickies, Sun-reading dunces, and football men who think crying over their child's cot-death is for poofs".

"Now he's about as welcome on our screens as a live feed of some lunatic in a balaclava folding a baby into a George Foreman Grill".

It's the word "folding" that makes it.

ieXush2i

Here's a Storify from former CaBber LF Barfe, which starts off about Davidson before moving onto Drake:

https://storify.com/cjjmccray/great-celebrity-catastrophes-and-other-stories

QuoteDrake was about as popular in the business as Jim Davidson

Cuellar

'Boobs in the Wood' is also on youtube.

Cuellar

Quote from: (Ex poster) on December 13, 2017, 02:29:01 PM
Here's a Storify from former CaBber LF Barfe, which starts off about Davidson before moving onto Drake:

https://storify.com/cjjmccray/great-celebrity-catastrophes-and-other-stories

Jesus that Charlie Drake story (the cupboard) is incredible. I really really hope it is true.

Gregory Torso

"like a pickled homunculus of Mick Hucknall"

I'm in fucking tears.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Cuellar on December 13, 2017, 02:34:12 PM
Jesus that Charlie Drake story (the cupboard) is incredible. I really really hope it is true.

how do I read this? do I need to login?


Cuellar

Quote from: BlodwynPig on December 13, 2017, 03:13:05 PM
how do I read this? do I need to login?

QuoteCharlie Drake, an arrogant short-arse with a fiery temper, stomped into his agent's office, with a minor grievance.>

He aired his grievance at length, berating the entire staff of the firm for whatever perceived slight had occurred.>

Having delivered his piece, he turned on his heel in triumph and walked out through the door.>

The only trouble was that he had misjudged his turning circle and had stormed out in high dudgeon straight into the stationery cupboard.>

His pride was punctured so comprehensively that he spent the rest of the day in the cupboard, unable to come out.>

If anybody needed a new pencil or some carbon paper, they had to go into the cupboard, and pretend that Drake wasn't there.>

He finally left when he heard that the cleaners had arrived for the night.

Utter Shit

Quote from: (Ex poster) on December 13, 2017, 02:29:01 PM
Here's a Storify from former CaBber LF Barfe, which starts off about Davidson before moving onto Drake:

https://storify.com/cjjmccray/great-celebrity-catastrophes-and-other-stories


Worth bearing in mind that Barfe is about as popular - and about as likeable - as Davidson. Horrible man.

ieXush2i


Utter Shit

Not much to say really, he's just always come across as a pretty nasty bloke on here and Twitter. I believe a few people on here who know his personally say he's a good egg, but both interacting with him and watching from afar I wouldn't have much good to say about him.