Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

April 27, 2024, 12:31:49 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Excruciating films

Started by BlodwynPig, December 24, 2017, 02:15:11 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: BlodwynPig on December 26, 2017, 12:21:18 AM
Wankers all, except Bean
rowan atkinson is a twee wanker like rest of the others but he's one of the boys when he's beaned up

Psmith

The Boys in Blue with the vile Cannon and Ball.
I found their double act  quite moronic but this excruciating attempt at a Will Hay classic was a new low .

BlodwynPig

Quote from: itsfredtitmus on December 26, 2017, 12:31:44 AM
rowan atkinson is a twee wanker like rest of the others but he's one of the boys when he's beaned up

He was certainly rubbish is always, Baby.


imitationleather

I think I got Maybe Baby out of one of those vending machines that Blockbusters used to have in garage forecourts. The fuck was I thinking? I had literally any film ever made at my disposal (well, three dozen, perhaps) and I chose that.

Also how did that film ever get made? All I remember is that they're a middle class couple trying to conceive and have to have sex at set times and all the humour is based around them needing to do it at really inconvenient times and places. It's like the shittest 1970s sex comedy premise ever. Doesn't Ben Elton claim the book it's based on is a lot better? I guess he would say that, though.

greenman

Quote from: Dr Rock on December 25, 2017, 07:53:10 AM
No, Verhoeven took a serious but laughable script dumb idiot Joe Eszterhas wrote and filmed it as a black comedy/satire. It's 'terrible' because it turns everything up to twelve when it was already at eleven, but it only seems terrible if you don't see it as the spoof that it is. Then it's brilliant.

Basically taking a shot at the monster he'd helped to create with Basic Instinct, in the years after that you couldn't move for sub standard sex thrillers.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: imitationleather on December 26, 2017, 11:35:04 AM
I think I got Maybe Baby out of one of those vending machines that Blockbusters used to have in garage forecourts. The fuck was I thinking? I had literally any film ever made at my disposal (well, three dozen, perhaps) and I chose that.

Also how did that film ever get made? All I remember is that they're a middle class couple trying to conceive and have to have sex at set times and all the humour is based around them needing to do it at really inconvenient times and places. It's like the shittest 1970s sex comedy premise ever. Doesn't Ben Elton claim the book it's based on is a lot better? I guess he would say that, though.

given my wife is desperate for a child, it was uncomfortable viewing as well as excruciatingly bad. Like watching an extended sex scene in an otherwise PG film with your parents.

[Tag] What the fuck happened to the numbers? [/Tag]

Sebastian Cobb

I've managed to avoid Love Actually, it doesn't interest me in the slightest and I doubt my imaginary girlfriend is in a rush to see it either.

Thomas

I saw Love Actually for the first time the other night. Smug, shallow (all the much-vaunted 'love' is based on brief surface attraction), dangerously middle class, convoluted, and very fun to watch with somebody who also finds it ridiculous, as my girlfriend does.

It's over two hours long, which I was glad of, because I was enjoying myself so much. A stupid, stupid film.

Hated that manipulative mimsy turning up on Keira Knightley's doorstep with his emotionally stunted flashcards, and Nick from My Family going off to America to do absolutely nothing of interest with an old stereotype. Load of sketch show characters (the structure is actually quite League of Gentlemen) moping around their kitchen islands.

Fair play to Richard Curtis, though. If ever I achieve my dream job of 'writer' I'd be very pleased to turn in something like that and tide myself over for a while.

Icehaven

Quote from: Thomas on December 28, 2017, 06:30:11 PM
Fair play to Richard Curtis, though. If ever I achieve my dream job of 'writer' I'd be very pleased to turn in something like that and tide myself over for a while.

While at my Mum's over Xmas I was amusing myself to nausea by reading the Sunday Times magazine supplements, and one of them had what appears to be a regular Millennial column by some 20something on the subject of 'side hustles', which seemed to amount to what's been known for centuries as Moonlighting, however in a slight variation on the young-person-gives-new-name-to-something-they-think-they've-invented-that's-already-existed-for-years-and-has-a-perfectly-good-name cliche, it now means having a lifestyle blog or Instagram account that you've somehow managed to monetise, or at least use to gain exposure for your chosen career, particularly if, as in this girl's case, that's writing. She waxed on about how it had helped her 'hone her style' and (with no apparent awareness of Max Gogarty) how her brother plans to use a regular email newsletter during his gap yah (she even used that exact term) to do the same. It was a startlingly unselfaware article that seemed oddly presumptuous about how just starting a blog or posting messages about your holiday would somehow, inevitably, gain attention and contribute to your future career in media (she even wrote about how her best friend found her blog cringey and mocked her for it but she stuck with it because she felt it was important), however on the other hand here she was with a regular column in The Sunday Times. Then the alarm bells started ringing so I googled her and sure enough it turned out she's Richard Curtis's daughter. But I'm sure it's nothing to do with daddy and it's that dedication to honing her writing on her blog that got her the gig and that all other aspiring media types (which to her is probably everyone) can simply do the same and get similar results.

Twit 2

Have you given up paragraphs for New Year?

Icehaven

Quote from: Twit 2 on December 31, 2017, 11:29:39 AM
Have you given up paragraphs for New Year?

YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesthat'swhatshesaid.

itsfredtitmus

Few films pissed me off as much as Leolo (1992)

Dr Syntax Head

Mall Cop and all those really shit American Comedies. American Pie. Absolutely anything with Adam Sandler (except the Paul Thomas Anderson film he did). Superhero films and yes I found all the non original Star Wars film unbearable. Eat that.

The Holiday is by far the worst of those 90s English rom coms, a truly hideous piece of shit in every way.

St_Eddie

Quote from: icehaven on December 31, 2017, 11:56:39 AM
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes
YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesthat'swhatshesaid.

Quickly and repeatedly scrolling up and down the middle of this post with the mouse wheel is strangely hypnotic.

DukeDeMondo

Quote from: Dr Syntax Head on January 02, 2018, 04:31:25 PM
Mall Cop and all those really shit American Comedies. American Pie. Absolutely anything with Adam Sandler (except the Paul Thomas Anderson film he did).

American Pie doesn't deserve to be lumped in with those others. American Pie is fine.



Shay Chaise

All mainstream movies. All American indie movies. Superhero film. Comic film. There's about ten good American films ever.

Jerzy Bondov

The Holiday is amazingly shite. The biggest Cameron Diaz stinker I've seen is What Happens In Vegas, which pairs her with Ashton Kutcher. Together they completely fail to scrape together any chemistry, charisma, or even a single hollow laugh. There's a scene where they chase each other up the street for some reason, clearly it isn't funny at all, so they've slapped Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet over the top to try and give it some energy. Do you think that sounds good? Well, do you?

It says on IMDB that Diaz and Kutcher were actually drunk for one scene that called for them to act drunk. Also says that Kutcher slapped Rob Corddry in the face during his audition. Unprofessional.

It has Grace Kelly by Mika on the soundtrack by the way.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: icehaven on December 31, 2017, 06:54:36 AM
While at my Mum's over Xmas I was amusing myself to nausea by reading the Sunday Times magazine supplements, and one of them had what appears to be a regular Millennial column by some 20something on the subject of 'side hustles', which seemed to amount to what's been known for centuries as Moonlighting, however in a slight variation on the young-person-gives-new-name-to-something-they-think-they've-invented-that's-already-existed-for-years-and-has-a-perfectly-good-name cliche, it now means having a lifestyle blog or Instagram account that you've somehow managed to monetise, or at least use to gain exposure for your chosen career, particularly if, as in this girl's case, that's writing. She waxed on about how it had helped her 'hone her style' and (with no apparent awareness of Max Gogarty) how her brother plans to use a regular email newsletter during his gap yah (she even used that exact term) to do the same. It was a startlingly unselfaware article that seemed oddly presumptuous about how just starting a blog or posting messages about your holiday would somehow, inevitably, gain attention and contribute to your future career in media (she even wrote about how her best friend found her blog cringey and mocked her for it but she stuck with it because she felt it was important), however on the other hand here she was with a regular column in The Sunday Times. Then the alarm bells started ringing so I googled her and sure enough it turned out she's Richard Curtis's daughter. But I'm sure it's nothing to do with daddy and it's that dedication to honing her writing on her blog that got her the gig and that all other aspiring media types (which to her is probably everyone) can simply do the same and get similar results.
FUCCKKKKKKK

My only pleasure comes from knowing those papers are dying a slow death and while the replacement won't be any better, at least we'll be in the gutter alongside worthless wastes of space like the daughters of once-talented writers.

zomgmouse

Quote from: DukeDeMondo on January 02, 2018, 05:39:28 PM
American Pie doesn't deserve to be lumped in with those others. American Pie is fine.

This was dire I thought. Tosh of the highest order. Even Eugene Levy couldn't save this.

mobias

The Star Wars prequels. Particularly the second one.

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: Dr Syntax Head on January 02, 2018, 04:31:25 PM
Mall Cop and all those really shit American Comedies. American Pie. Absolutely anything with Adam Sandler (except the Paul Thomas Anderson film he did). Superhero films and yes I found all the non original Star Wars film unbearable. Eat that.

The Holiday is by far the worst of those 90s English rom coms, a truly hideous piece of shit in every way.
not even this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKS66bDn3DA

Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: itsfredtitmus on January 03, 2018, 10:57:08 AM
not even this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKS66bDn3DA

Ok, I'll give that a pass

I heart I heart Huckabees. Enjoyed it immensely particularly Marky Mark's character

Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: mobias on January 03, 2018, 08:44:26 AM
The Star Wars prequels. Particularly the second one.

I want Star Wars to fuck off now. I hate having it shoved in my face every single fucking day!

Oops! Wrong Planet

Quote from: Thomas on December 28, 2017, 06:30:11 PM
I saw Love Actually for the first time the other night. Smug, shallow (all the much-vaunted 'love' is based on brief surface attraction), dangerously middle class, convoluted, and very fun to watch with somebody who also finds it ridiculous, as my girlfriend does.

It's over two hours long, which I was glad of, because I was enjoying myself so much. A stupid, stupid film.

Hated that manipulative mimsy turning up on Keira Knightley's doorstep with his emotionally stunted flashcards, and Nick from My Family going off to America to do absolutely nothing of interest with an old stereotype. Load of sketch show characters (the structure is actually quite League of Gentlemen) moping around their kitchen islands.

Fair play to Richard Curtis, though. If ever I achieve my dream job of 'writer' I'd be very pleased to turn in something like that and tide myself over for a while.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/the-christmas-film-stalked-by-ghost-of-harvey-weinstein-z9nmfjj6s
QuoteThe Christmas film stalked by ghost of Harvey Weinstein


Until last year, Love Actually was merely the worst Christmas film ever made. After the ruin of Harvey Weinstein, it becomes even more fascinating. It's a morality tale in the spirit of Charles Dickens, only with a missing final act.

If, during the relentless sex-assault allegations, you ever wondered what kind of culture enables such predators, watch Love Actually. The answers were there all along in 2003.

That culture. Right there. The one that takes multiple storylines about powerful men trying to have sex and garlands them in tinsel; that serves up an adorable spread of workplace harassment and Kris Marshall yelling about his genitals as festive fayre for the family. The message is not so much feelgood, as feelyoursecretary — or, as in everyone's favourite storyline when it comes to #peakcreep — stalkyourbestmate'swife. Who can forget Keira Knightley discovering that her husband's best friend has a secret video of close-ups of her face? He turns up later at her door, finger to silent lips, to declare he'll love her till she's dead and shows her a picture of a corpse. Happy Christmas!

Colin Firth makes a maid his wife, like he's doing the whole of Portugal a favour. She has two characteristics: she can't speak English and she's not as fat as her sister. He knows he loves her because she once took her clothes off to fetch him something.

Love Actually understands romance about as much as Weinstein understands consent. "How do I get a girl to like me, Dad?" is the theme for Liam Neeson and his son. Easy. Never talk to her, stare at her from afar, then chase her through an airport.

"Who do you have to screw around here for a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?" asks prime minister Hugh Grant, as Martine "plumpy" McCutcheon heaves herself and her tea trolley into a cabinet meeting, too "chubby" for everyone else in the script but thankfully not too fat to be groped by the American president.

On and on it goes. Only now, there's the ghost of Harvey Weinstein, waving around the lawsuits like Jacob Marley rattling the chains he forged in life, urging the redemption of every Love Actually lech.

Go on, Richard Curtis! Write that missing finale in which the blokes who've spent the film coveting sexual conquests, like Scrooge counts his coins, wake up on Christmas Day to realise the error of their ways, and check themselves out of their west London homes and into rehab, quicker than you can deliver a turkey to the Cratchits. All the gropers and grabbers get their comeuppance and all the chubby teamaids, cheated wives and stalked brides get their revenge. Now that's a Christmas movie I'd actually like to see.

Captain Z

It's been discussed plenty but Jurassic World deserves a mention. I caught some of it again over Christmas and my new favourite part is where a Pterodactyl crash lands in the crowd and slides to a halt with its beak milimetres from a crouching child. Not only one for the 'film cliches' thread, but quite stunning how much is wrong with just those few seconds.

Gwen Taylor on ITV

Another odd bit in Love, Actually: at the end when Bill Nighy decides to stop neglecting his manager Rab C Nesbitt and suggests they have a night in "watching porn".

Bronzy

Quote from: Gwen Taylor on ITV on January 03, 2018, 11:14:05 PM
Another odd bit in Love, Actually: at the end when Bill Nighy decides to stop neglecting his manager Rab C Nesbitt and suggests they have a night in "watching porn".

That's what Richard Curtis imagines the common man gets up to when he's not yelling slang words and stabbing fellow ruffians.