Author Topic: Bond  (Read 28347 times)

Captain Z

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Re: Bond
« Reply #570 on: February 23, 2019, 02:09:23 PM »
'Ave you ever noticed when you're skiing down a mountain trying to kill henchmen, and your brass hand shatters due to the cold!??

Blumf

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Re: Bond
« Reply #571 on: February 23, 2019, 02:23:41 PM »
They should make the next film as normal but have everyone bare in it.

Except the sexy ladies. They have to be in thick scratchy woollen jumpers and heavy winter coats, even if the scene is on a sunny Barbados beach.

biggytitbo

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Re: Bond
« Reply #572 on: February 23, 2019, 07:18:00 PM »
That's fine, I've already seen them all bare. It's the fellas I want to see bare in this, not in a gay way, just because I think it would make the action scenes more exciting.

Kelvin

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Re: Bond
« Reply #573 on: February 23, 2019, 07:48:24 PM »
That's fine, I've already seen them all bare. It's the fellas I want to see bare in this, not in a gay way, just because I think it would make the action scenes more exciting.

It would certainly make a fight in a sawmill more tense.

mothman

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Re: Bond
« Reply #574 on: February 23, 2019, 08:05:16 PM »
Clothed Female Naked... M..?

purlieu

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Re: Bond
« Reply #575 on: February 23, 2019, 10:36:27 PM »
Plus you'd get to see Bond's boner every time he walks into a room and sees an attractive woman and his cock goes on "probably going to shag her" alert.

mothman

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Re: Bond
« Reply #576 on: February 23, 2019, 11:08:24 PM »
Literally every time a Bond has shared a scene with anyone female he’s obviously been on “probably going to shag her” alert, his tackle’s never needed to be visible for that to be a given. Yes, even Rosa Klebb, and the Judy Dench M as well.

biggytitbo

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Re: Bond
« Reply #577 on: February 24, 2019, 12:17:01 AM »
Do you reckon he shagged Sir Judy Dench? I think he did you know and knowing it adds a lot of extra layers to those films. Quantum of solace is now the masterpiece I always suspected it was now I know he slipped her one.

mothman

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Re: Bond
« Reply #578 on: February 24, 2019, 09:58:14 AM »
Tricky. “Probably going to shag her” doesn’t mean he ever actually did - just look at Olga Kurylenko’s chaescter in QoS, they definitely didn’t. Or at least I don’t think so (they did look quite rumpled walking down that mountain to catch the bus). And he never really got an opportunity with Klebb - or had the time with Irma Bunt in OHMSS. So his success rate isn’t 100%. But still, balance of probability weighs heavy in favour of your theory.

Blumf

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Re: Bond
« Reply #579 on: February 24, 2019, 11:48:30 AM »
Do you reckon he shagged Sir Judy Dench? I think he did you know and knowing it adds a lot of extra layers to those films. Quantum of solace is now the masterpiece I always suspected it was now I know he slipped her one.

I think you're forgetting this:


Dex Sawash

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Re: Bond
« Reply #580 on: February 24, 2019, 03:03:00 PM »
Left corgi still not sated

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #581 on: February 28, 2019, 08:35:24 PM »

mothman

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Re: Bond
« Reply #582 on: February 28, 2019, 11:56:13 PM »

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #583 on: March 06, 2019, 05:59:14 PM »
It won't be called Shatterhand after all.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/film/james-bond-25-title-not-14089263

"Everything or Nothing" will be the title of a Bond film eventually.

Re: Bond
« Reply #584 on: March 16, 2019, 11:56:22 PM »
I can't stand Rami Malek, I hope they know that.

famethrowa

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Re: Bond
« Reply #585 on: April 02, 2019, 05:49:09 AM »
There's about a million news articles today telling us Tania Mallet, who played Tilly Masterson, has died at 77. I was always quite affected by the death of Tilly, here's this smart beautiful girl, obviously well educated and trained, in a futile quest to avenge the death of her beloved sister. And what does she get for it? Killed by a hat. What a waste. Did Bond get to slip her a length? I can't remember.

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #586 on: April 02, 2019, 12:19:02 PM »
I don't remember there being any hint of romance with Tilly. She's too busy with her sniper rifle to shack up with her dead sister's sloppy seconds.

Interesting that none of the Bond girls overlap in Goldfinger. Tilly is introduced after Jill has already died, and dies herself before we ever get a glimpse of Pussy.

Also interesting that the Masterson sisters are SHIT at finding plausible ways to die. Jill is painted to death, Tilly is hatted to death. We know these days that "skin suffocation" isn't a thing, and Oddjob's hat can fuck off and all. Doesn't even have a proper metal rim, there's fabric all around it, would probably just flump right off your neck. By rights they should both still be alive, looking up at Oddjob like, what the fuck mate. Why did you think that would kill me. Paint? A hat? Fuck off you daft bastard

Neomod

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Re: Bond
« Reply #587 on: April 02, 2019, 12:47:55 PM »
"Everything or Nothing" will be the title of a Bond film eventually.

Doubtfull as it's already been the title of a high profile computer game with Bronhom, Willem Dafoe, Dench, Cleese and it's own (bobbins) theme by Mya.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEXKzDc0J-g
« Last Edit: April 02, 2019, 02:06:58 PM by Neomod »

Bad Ambassador

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Re: Bond
« Reply #588 on: April 02, 2019, 01:53:27 PM »
Tilly's alive a lot longer in the book, and is clearly written as a lesbian. There's a trace of this in her antagonism to Bond in the film.

gilbertharding

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Re: Bond
« Reply #589 on: April 02, 2019, 02:06:35 PM »
Doesn't fancy The Commander = lesbian.

Re: Bond
« Reply #590 on: April 02, 2019, 02:09:34 PM »
I feel bad for Mr and Mrs Masterson. I wonder if their marriage survived the grief of having one daughter being painted to death and then losing the other one to flying hats.

Bad Ambassador

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Re: Bond
« Reply #591 on: April 02, 2019, 02:10:30 PM »
Doesn't fancy The Commander = lesbian.

As far as Fleming is concerned, yes. But it's also made explicit that she's interested in Pussy (Galore).

famethrowa

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Re: Bond
« Reply #592 on: April 02, 2019, 02:19:04 PM »
I feel bad for Mr and Mrs Masterson. I wonder if their marriage survived the grief of having one daughter being painted to death and then losing the other one to flying hats.

And a fucked up Mustang convertible too, they don't come cheap

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #593 on: April 06, 2019, 10:24:16 PM »
Also interesting that the Masterson sisters are SHIT at finding plausible ways to die. Jill is painted to death, Tilly is hatted to death. We know these days that "skin suffocation" isn't a thing, and Oddjob's hat can fuck off and all. Doesn't even have a proper metal rim, there's fabric all around it, would probably just flump right off your neck. By rights they should both still be alive, looking up at Oddjob like, what the fuck mate. Why did you think that would kill me. Paint? A hat? Fuck off you daft bastard

My mum and I just caught the last half hour of Goldfinger on ITV4 and she, apparently unaware of Oddjob's whole schtick, looked up from her Macbook at the TV, at the tense bit where Bond is gearing up to throw his hat back at him, and shouted "...WITH A FUCKING HAT?"

Additional notes: she doesn't like the romantic barn rape scene ("I've always thought he's a sex pest"), but she does love Pussy's hair ("I love Pussy's hair").

Bad Ambassador

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Re: Bond
« Reply #594 on: April 08, 2019, 02:20:32 PM »
Another one gone: Nadja Regin, who was Kerim Bey's mistress in FRWL ("I was relaxing on the couch for a few moments...") and the girl who tries to honey trap Bond at the start of Goldfinger (reflection of the villain in her eye), has popped off at 87. Gave up acting in the late 60s to be a script reader, later moved into publishing and being an author.

Soup Dogg

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Re: Bond
« Reply #595 on: April 08, 2019, 11:12:23 PM »
I caught a bit of Goldfinger the other night. It was just starting as I flipped over to it, and my girlfrend, who knows I'm a bit of a Bond geek, was like "Oh I've not seen this, is it good?" To which my only response could be "...Maybe? It's definitely dated, and you're going to hate it in about two minutes.”

Two minutes later: *spank* "Run along now, man talk".

"Yeah fuck this" she says. Fair enough.

I do love bond, and I love it for it for the fact that it's a massive successful franchise that's not actually spawned a single great film (OHMSS with some tighter editing might get there), and I love it in the last few decades for its attempts to make this enormously outdated and ridiculous formula work in the modern world, but I equally wouldn't mind if it just stopped. Like, come on lads, this is fucking dumb. I mean I love it to bits, but these days it's maybe the least necessary bit of cinema in a crowded field of films that do nothing.

Re: Bond
« Reply #596 on: April 09, 2019, 03:19:32 PM »
I do love bond, and I love it for it for the fact that it's a massive successful franchise that's not actually spawned a single great film (OHMSS with some tighter editing might get there), and I love it in the last few decades for its attempts to make this enormously outdated and ridiculous formula work in the modern world, but I equally wouldn't mind if it just stopped. Like, come on lads, this is fucking dumb. I mean I love it to bits, but these days it's maybe the least necessary bit of cinema in a crowded field of films that do nothing.

I think we've ended up in a strange position where recent Bonds have looked to shift towards being more serious action thrillers as the blockbuster market as a whole has tended to embrace camp.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Bond
« Reply #597 on: April 09, 2019, 09:16:19 PM »
I watched Goldfinger the other day for the first time in a VERY long time.

I don't remember there being any hint of romance with Tilly.

They have a very brief fumble, after her sister's already been carked.  And, I'm sorry to say, Mallet was absolutely TERRIBLE in it, even compared with other "supporting" Bond girls (i.e. the ones that get killed before the main Bond girl appears).


Ignoring all the ass slapping and general objectifying of women, Goldfinger really is quite a rubbish film.


But then I'm not a Bond fan at all.  Live and Let Die and Casino Royale (both versions - I have a soft-spot for the 60s one) and that's about it for me.

Re: Bond
« Reply #598 on: April 09, 2019, 09:53:12 PM »
Goldfinger is overrated as all hell. As you say, even without all the dodgy sexual politics, dodgy accents and dodgy arse slapping, it's still a pretty uneven film that starts strong, REALLY falls apart in the middle when Bond just spends the remainder of the film locked up, chained up, escaping, getting locked up again, knocked out, and then locked to a bomb...which he doesn't even get to defuse in the final climax.

After the bit with the laser, when we get to all the Pussy Galore/Kentucky/Guys and Dolls malarkey,  it just grinds to a halt.

All the Fort Knox stuff goes on FOREVER and the stilted fight with Oddjob isn't worth sticking around for.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Bond
« Reply #599 on: April 09, 2019, 09:59:41 PM »
which he doesn't even get to defuse in the final climax.

That's the one bit of Goldfinger I always enjoyed, and still do.  One of the rare times he's completely demeaned, even moreso because it's just a fucking switch (presumably ON-OFF).  And the "tut, you cunt" look the guy gives him as he walks away.  Most unlike the climax to a 60s action film, let alone the climax to a Bond film.