Author Topic: Bond  (Read 36326 times)

Re: Bond
« Reply #630 on: April 23, 2019, 11:44:41 PM »
I'm sure this has been brought up before, but why is there so much disregard for AVtaK? Sure it may not be solid gold Bond, but it's far from the worst. I mean, Octopussy for fucks fucking sake!!



It's much worse than Octopussy: dull, tedious, slow, no fun set pieces outside of the bridge bit at the end. I can't tell you specifically what's bad about it because I can't remember, it's that unmemorable.

Octopussy is tons of fun in comparison - Roger Moore as a clown, indian bloke with a saw thing... erm...
Well I'm sure it is better anyway. Everyone wants an egg, that's good.

None of the Bond films are good really, are they? After the age of ten anyway. Proper shite. I'm glad to see a few in this thread slating Goldfinger; I've always thought that was overrated, both the film and the song. I think Moonraker is the best Bassey theme, personally; it's just not as showy as Goldfinger and DAF so gets overlooked.

Shaky

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Re: Bond
« Reply #631 on: April 24, 2019, 03:15:20 AM »
Yeah, Octopussy at least has an exotic globe-trotting vibe and still feels like a Bond movie, albeit not a very good one. AFTAK is much more of a mess and ultimately comes off as some weird, bungled attempt to battle with the big mid-80's US action-movie boys. Laughably enjoyable in parts, but total shit overall.

Best theme tune, mind.

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #632 on: April 24, 2019, 09:01:01 AM »
AFTAK

Artist Formerly The As Known

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #633 on: April 24, 2019, 10:20:05 AM »
If Craig's new one gets anywhere near the weirdness of that film, I'm all for it. Throw in a resurrected Wint & Kidd and I'll be in the front row.

Diamonds Are Forever is the only one of the original fifteen PG-rated Bonds to have recently been upgraded to a 12 by the BBFC, in part for "negative comic stereotyping of homosexual characters". Which is interesting, because when I watched that film for the first time as a gay adolescent, I found Mr Wint and Mr Kidd genuinely inspirational. I can shag men and murder them? I can hold a man's hand and still come across menacing? The world is my oyster!

I've never been able to relate to complaints about "queer-coding" villains – I am not perceived as a credible threat by straight people nearly as much as I would like.

I would still count them as role models, if only they hadn't been probably the most incompetent villains in Bond history.

"We have unfettered access to James Bond's unconscious body. How shall we kill him?"
"Let's put him in a pipe."
"And then what?"
"No, that's it. Let's just put him in a pipe and assume he'll die, somehow."
"Ah. Die of what, specifically?"
"I dunno. Being in a pipe."
"Mmm. I see. Yes, let's do that."

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Bond
« Reply #634 on: April 24, 2019, 10:53:16 AM »
Mr Wint and Mr Kidd are why you shouldn't work with your partner. It can only end badly, for instance being doused in cognac and set on fire.

Shaky

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Re: Bond
« Reply #635 on: April 24, 2019, 11:43:23 AM »
Diamonds Are Forever is the only one of the original fifteen PG-rated Bonds to have recently been upgraded to a 12 by the BBFC, in part for "negative comic stereotyping of homosexual characters". Which is interesting, because when I watched that film for the first time as a gay adolescent, I found Mr Wint and Mr Kidd genuinely inspirational. I can shag men and murder them? I can hold a man's hand and still come across menacing? The world is my oyster!

I've never been able to relate to complaints about "queer-coding" villains – I am not perceived as a credible threat by straight people nearly as much as I would like.

I would still count them as role models, if only they hadn't been probably the most incompetent villains in Bond history.

"We have unfettered access to James Bond's unconscious body. How shall we kill him?"
"Let's put him in a pipe."
"And then what?"
"No, that's it. Let's just put him in a pipe and assume he'll die, somehow."
"Ah. Die of what, specifically?"
"I dunno. Being in a pipe."
"Mmm. I see. Yes, let's do that."


Heh, yes that always seemed a bit of a cop out for a pair of psychos whose previous MO had been putting scorpions down people's shirts and drowning old women. Maybe they were tired. I like the two of them because their presence, chemistry & delivery of lines is so off (Jazz bassist (!) Putter Smith is stilted as fuck while Bruce "Father of Crispian" Glover is gurning sliminess personified). It's a happy accident, lightning in a bottle stuff.

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #636 on: April 24, 2019, 12:15:02 PM »
...putting scorpions down people's shirts...

I'm not sure what the source of this is, but I've seen a few places say that, in the original version of this scene before censors objected, they shoved the scorpion in the doctor's mouth. This would have secured their place as my personal gay icons.

Love their theme music, too. I play this on Spotify whenever I'm skulking somewhere. Love a good skulk to this.

Cuellar

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Re: Bond
« Reply #637 on: April 24, 2019, 12:20:34 PM »
Wait, they were gay? I can't remember if I've seen the whole film but looking them up I certainly remember them. Must have seen it at some stage.

Never clocked that they were a couple though. I imagine I wasn't really paying attention, however, due to the fact that Bond films are unmitigated shit.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #638 on: April 24, 2019, 12:58:04 PM »
There were plans at one stage for Michelle Yeoh's character from Tomorrow Never Dies to get a spin-off film. That obviously didn't happen, but do you think anyone else from the series could support that type of thing on their own? I don't think a James Bond Expanded Universe should ever happen, but I bet the money men would love to try. How about "Jaws Begins" or something.

magval

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Re: Bond
« Reply #639 on: April 24, 2019, 01:02:24 PM »
There were plans at one stage for Michelle Yeoh's character from Tomorrow Never Dies to get a spin-off film.

Like with Supercop!

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Re: Bond
« Reply #640 on: April 24, 2019, 01:08:52 PM »
Would watch a bond/clouseau collaboration film. Would need to be Sellars and Moore though.

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Re: Bond
« Reply #641 on: April 24, 2019, 02:11:06 PM »
There were plans at one stage for Michelle Yeoh's character from Tomorrow Never Dies to get a spin-off film.

Halle Berry in Die Another Day too, right? And I assume Michael Madsen was supposed to be the recurring M figure.

I think this was hampered by nobody giving a shit about her, but I think a part of me would have sort of liked a stupid CGI nonsense Jinx franchise continuing as a frivolous split universe alongside a dark moody Daniel Craig Bond series. Maybe they could have exported John Cleese's Q to continue over there. Might also have had the benefit of keeping the Craig films a bit more serious as a tonal contrast and reduced the temptation to make Spectre the stupidest fucking film ever.

She presumably wants to distance herself from the whole affair now, as they weren't able to get the rights to use her likeness for the game '007 Legends'. The developer claimed they were using some whole other lass's face due to "creative license", which is such a charmingly pointless lie. Yeah we just specifically didn't like Jinx's original face for artistic reasons. Our vision of an otherwise faithful re-enactment of Die Another Day would somehow have been marred by the inclusion of this one original actor's face. This has nothing to do with the law. If Halle Berry's face had come up to us like "hey, you can legally use me if you like, it's fine", we would have vomited on it.

Shaky

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Re: Bond
« Reply #642 on: April 25, 2019, 02:33:38 AM »
While I was cleaning up the cat's shit this morning it suddenly hit me how insane this ongoing franchise is. I mean, they'll never, ever stop making these films, will they? Creatively moribund for decades now (not to say they can't still be enjoyable)... yet people still fucking flock to the things. And none of them have ever really bombed, have they? Absolutely nuts. I wonder if Barbara has little Broccoli's ready to take up the mantel, although she's still relatively young herself and could lead the Bondbeast for another 30 years.

Re: Bond
« Reply #643 on: April 25, 2019, 03:06:23 AM »
I am actually a little surprised we haven’t had Bond spin-offs yet.  The Conjuring came out what ... five years ago, and that’s already had three spin-offs (with more to come).  It’ll happen, maybe once the remaining Broccolis snuff it.

Re: Bond
« Reply #644 on: April 25, 2019, 03:17:39 AM »
I am actually a little surprised we haven’t had Bond spin-offs yet.  The Conjuring came out what ... five years ago, and that’s already had three spin-offs (with more to come).  It’ll happen, maybe once the remaining Broccolis snuff it.

You could argue Bond has never really had much of a universe of its own to expand into, the attraction has always been Bond himself and its only really Q's gadgets that go much beyond standard action/spy fare. Equally as mentioned in the Black/Female Bond debates the character arguably isn't very suited to such shifts as he's typically not much of an "example" a lot of the politics of the films since the 90's work via pointing out Bonds own faults.

Re: Bond
« Reply #645 on: April 25, 2019, 03:28:12 AM »
I suppose so, but it hasn’t stopped things like the creepy doll from The Conjuring getting its own trilogy.  They’ll go wherever there may be money, regardless of quality or whether it even makes sense.

That being said, I can’t imagine anyone lining up for Oddjob: Origins or whatever.  Maybe a crossover is more likely.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Bond
« Reply #646 on: April 25, 2019, 09:19:15 AM »
I hope Bond never goes the Marvel or Star Wars route where they work out how to make them come out at regular intervals. It feels like more of an event when it takes ages to make them. Even if they are eventually shite.

Should be an announcement today

Re: Bond
« Reply #647 on: April 25, 2019, 09:35:25 AM »
The Disney model as well is working out exactly what audiences want and them cramming it down their throats, part of the reason for Bond's longevity(at least since the 80's) I'd say is that its often been a reaction to itself rather than a coherent franchise with a similar style to it. Less successful(or at least less enjoyed, its never really had a bomb) Bond films almost help keep the franchise alive as it means there can be some kind of comeback that's shifts things in a differen direction.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #648 on: April 25, 2019, 09:37:19 AM »
Leak ahead of today's announcement.

It will be called, simply, "James Bond".

machotrouts

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Re: Bond
« Reply #649 on: April 25, 2019, 09:41:46 AM »
There were plans at one stage for Michelle Yeoh's character from Tomorrow Never Dies to get a spin-off film. That obviously didn't happen, but do you think anyone else from the series could support that type of thing on their own? I don't think a James Bond Expanded Universe should ever happen, but I bet the money men would love to try. How about "Jaws Begins" or something.

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Re: Bond
« Reply #650 on: April 25, 2019, 10:51:33 AM »
+1

Leak ahead of today's announcement.

It will be called, simply, "James Bond".

This wouldn’t surprise me at all; but I think it’d make more sense to save that for the next irrational/reboot. Though I guess it didn’t do the films Rocky Balboa, John Rambo and Jason Bourne any harm.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #651 on: April 25, 2019, 10:59:34 AM »
+1

This wouldn’t surprise me at all; but I think it’d make more sense to save that for the next irrational/reboot. Though I guess it didn’t do the films Rocky Balboa, John Rambo and Jason Bourne any harm.

Maybe just "Bond". We've had "'Logan" and Die Hard fans can look forward to "McClane".

Norton Canes

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Re: Bond
« Reply #652 on: April 25, 2019, 10:59:40 AM »
Trout Fishing with Bambi and Thumper

non capisco

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Re: Bond
« Reply #653 on: April 25, 2019, 11:44:10 AM »
Maybe just "Bond".

"Bond. (James Bond)."

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #654 on: April 25, 2019, 01:03:22 PM »
Title announced in 10 minutes.

I predict: "Silverfin"

Dr Rock

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Re: Bond
« Reply #655 on: April 25, 2019, 01:07:22 PM »
'The Spy Who Raped Me'

thecuriousorange

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Re: Bond
« Reply #656 on: April 25, 2019, 01:22:16 PM »
Live from Jamaica they have exclusively revealed....

That they don't have a title yet.

mothman

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Re: Bond
« Reply #657 on: April 25, 2019, 01:42:30 PM »
All the previous recurrings back, including Rory K. And Jeffrey Wright back as Leiter. Also: Lashana Lynch, Ana de Armas, and Rami Malek. Plus Lea Seydoux back too.

Re: Bond
« Reply #658 on: April 25, 2019, 02:00:10 PM »
If it's possible to grow out of your features, Dan Craig has done it.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Bond
« Reply #659 on: April 25, 2019, 02:38:32 PM »

James Bond Sr