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Bond

Started by asids, December 28, 2017, 01:05:52 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Gerald Fjord

#660
M:  You will have to question the lady Bond. Pump up her information.

Moneypenny: (aside) It's up to you how much information you pump up her!

Bond:   I cannot hear you I am standing over here.

Shit Good Nose

Still waiting for the Bond film where he's riddled with STDs and numerous cancers (maybe a touch of AIDS too), no longer a functioning alcoholic, up to his eyeballs in childcare payments, court appearances for sexual harassment offences stacking up, constantly mashed off his bonce due to the self medicating to ease the pain.  That's the one I'll go and pay to see.

mothman

That's basically Happy! isn't it?

Jerzy Bondov

Lovely Ana de Armas is going to get bonked by Bond and then she is going to die. 100% guaranteed.

I hope Rami Malek isn't Blofeld. If the Blue is the Warmest Colour actress is back then it's a direct continuation of the last one and that stupid brother plotline would have to be continued. Looking forward to the next full reboot already.

Dr Rock


biggytitbo

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on April 25, 2019, 03:08:12 PM
Lovely Ana de Armas is going to get bonked by Bond and then she is going to die. 100% guaranteed.


Wonder if we'll see any side boob in this one?

Dr Rock


Neomod



Blumf

Quote from: Dr Rock on April 25, 2019, 03:35:38 PM


NOT MY BOND.

Roy Batty's looking a fair bit past his incept date.

Noodle Lizard

Has no one suggested Toby Jones?

Gerald Fjord

Toby Jug more like.

Gerald Fjord

Christoph Waltz spotted at Pinewood, looks like he's returning as Blofeld. Fuck knows why they're keeping it secret, it's not like his portrayal last time out blew everyone away. Can't see people freaking out when they find out ohmygod they got the fucking Waltzer back? Old Valse Sentimentale himself???

Can't wait til we find out he was secretly Judi Dench all along!

studpuppet

Quote from: Gerald Fjord on July 12, 2019, 12:20:47 PM
Christoph Waltz spotted at Pinewood, looks like he's returning as Blofeld.

Blofeld and Felix Leiter must be only characters in film history where it's sacrilege if they AREN'T played by a different actor in every film.

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: Gerald Fjord on July 12, 2019, 12:20:47 PM
Christoph Waltz spotted at Pinewood, looks like he's returning as Blofeld. Fuck knows why they're keeping it secret, it's not like his portrayal last time out blew everyone away. Can't see people freaking out when they find out ohmygod they got the fucking Waltzer back? Old Valse Sentimentale himself???

Can't wait til we find out he was secretly Judi Dench all along!

I heard the suggestion that he offers Bond info on the new villain in exchange for privileges in prison, a la Hannibal Lecter. At least Bond has already established a track record of re-purposing bits of other movies.

Disappointing that he won't be played by Taran Killam as Waltz, though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ-LANh4_Zg

Piggyoioi

Christoph waltz fucking sucks

I thought they had already announced the Freddy Mercury guy as Blofeld. But I guess they could be doing the plastic-surgery thing, in a nod to Diamonds are Forever.

You may have read that Grace Jones flounced off the set of this, scuppering her planned cameo. I wonder who they'll wheel in as a replacement.

Janet Brown and John Wells, CGIed in.

Shaky

Quote from: thecuriousorange on July 13, 2019, 02:08:20 PM
I thought they had already announced the Freddy Mercury guy as Blofeld. But I guess they could be doing the plastic-surgery thing, in a nod to Diamonds are Forever.


Nah, it's only been revealed that he's playing a new baddie terrorist of some sort. Fans then posited he could be the new Blofeld.


Fishfinger

Quote from: thecuriousorange on July 13, 2019, 02:08:20 PM
I wonder who they'll wheel in as a replacement.

Ironside.

Dr Rock

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 14, 2019, 01:12:34 PM
http://www.ladbible.com/entertainment/film-and-tv-lashana-lynch-to-take-over-james-bonds-iconic-code-name-20190714?c=1563092736831?source=twitter

This is predictably causing quite a stir with people who haven't read the article.

Quote from: some 'insider'This is a Bond for the modern era who will appeal to a younger generation while sticking true to what we all expect in a Bond film,' the source added. 'There are spectacular chase sequences and fights, and Bond is still Bond but he's having to learn to deal with the world of #MeToo."

Quote from: some 'insider''Bond, of course, is sexually attracted to the new female 007 and tries his usual seduction tricks, but is baffled when they don't work on a brilliant, young black woman who basically rolls her eyes at him and has no interest in jumping into his bed.

Ha, take that you outdated lothario! Proper baffled! Strike one for the girls!

Quote from: some 'insider'Well, certainly not at the beginning.

Oh.

machotrouts

Here's a brand new hithertofore-unexplored idea for a Bond film to bring it up to date with modern feminist standards: The Bond Girl Doesn't Immediately Want To Fuck Bond But He Wears Her Down Eventually

Blumf

Going back to the old Goldfinger template then.

Fambo Number Mive

Just focusing on a martini drinking arse kicking black female 007 from here on in rather than Bond coming back would be a lot more interesting. I think we've had enough middle aged white men creeping on women and faffing about as bond.

Could have just had Bond moving to a desk job in the first five minutes and handing over his gadgets before being shown to the coffee maker. "No martins in Accounting, Mr Bond". Then lets get on with this new character.

The new 007 films can still have bad jokes, violence, gadgets and clever plots, just no Bond or outdated attitudes.


kidsick5000

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on April 25, 2019, 03:08:12 PM
Lovely Ana de Armas is going to get bonked by Bond and then she is going to die. 100% guaranteed.

This form of contraception is too extreme!



Wet Blanket

QuoteWhile Daniel Craig is set to reprise his role as James Bond in the next film, the franchise is set for a shake-up, with reports claiming that black British actor Lashana Lynch has been cast as 007 – taking over Bond's secret agent number after his character leaves M16.

The Mail has quoted from an anonymous "movie insider", who says that the 25th film opens with Bond (Craig), retired in Jamaica, being called back to action to fight a new villain.

"There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says, "Come in 007", and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman," the source said. "It's a popcorn-dropping moment. Bond is still Bond but he's been replaced as 007."

Well it would have been if it hadn't been revealed a year in advance of the film's release.

My main takeaway from the above is that the plot is going to be the same 'he's a burnt out old fuck who becomes James Bond over the course of the movie' plot that all the Craig ones have been. You can guess the last scene already 'welcome back to MI6 007' *Daniel Craig's wrinkly face turns to the camea* BADAPPBADABADADAAAA!