Author Topic: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )  (Read 67377 times)

Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« on: January 01, 2018, 11:08:37 AM »
Top CAB contributor Vodka Margarine's name is actually a " Bottom " reference.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 01:09:54 PM by Lisa Jesusandmarychain »

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2018, 01:08:33 PM »
A year of space-bracket hell awaits us... :-(

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2018, 01:12:23 PM »
It went around twitter but last night every adult in the country was born in the 20th century, and ever child in the 21st.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread)
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2018, 01:27:12 PM »
A year of space-bracket hell awaits us... :-(

We'll be one voice on this.  The year is already ruined as far as I'm concerned.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2018, 01:33:42 PM »
Neil, please delete this thread. I don't want to inflict space-bracket misery on everyone.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2018, 01:34:53 PM »
You should be able to edit it for another 90 minutes or so. :)

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2018, 01:38:53 PM »
Nah, fuck it. Just delete the thread. Then I think I'll go and delete my fucking life. Fucking Hell, I can't do * anything* right.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2018, 01:40:28 PM »
Nah, fuck it. Just delete the thread. Then I think I'll go and delete my fucking life. Fucking Hell, I can't do * anything* right.

Please edit it.  If you deeply love us and can only survive from day to day by masturbating over photos of previous CaB meets, then please edit it.

And also please edit it if you don't do that.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2018, 01:50:42 PM »
It's all just so hopeless,  isn't it?  Deliberately waking up early, so that you can be tired enough to go to bed early, knowing that the solace of sleep is going to be the highlight of your day. Trudging dolefully disasterwards  in the morning , wondering what's going to make you feel woefully inadequate on this particular day.  Things just seem to keep going wrong. Enough.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2018, 02:00:22 PM »
It's all just so hopeless,  isn't it?  Deliberately waking up early, so that you can be tired enough to go to bed early, knowing that the solace of sleep is going to be the highlight of your day. Trudging dolefully disasterwards  in the morning , wondering what's going to make you feel woefully inadequate on this particular day.  Things just seem to keep going wrong. Enough.

But some wrong things - like a space-bracket in a thread title, for example - aren't hopeless because they can be very easily fixed, can't they.

So you could do that and feel much much better.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2018, 02:05:10 PM »
It's all just so hopeless,  isn't it?  Deliberately waking up early, so that you can be tired enough to go to bed early, knowing that the solace of sleep is going to be the highlight of your day. Trudging dolefully disasterwards  in the morning , wondering what's going to make you feel woefully inadequate on this particular day.  Things just seem to keep going wrong. Enough.

Hey man I'm so sorry and I know how you feel having only had three hours sleep the last two nights myself but please don't do anything stupid.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2018, 02:06:17 PM »
My observation that you* look like The young (ish) Brian Cant was way off-beam,  too.

More like Lisa Jesusandmarychain Can't ( do anything right ).

As Yosser Hughes said to the woman behind the counter at the DHSS in that episode of " Boys From The Black Stuff" ( 1982 ), " Goodbye".

( * RFV, not IA ).

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2018, 02:11:04 PM »
Also, why do people say " Don't do anything stupid " to people who, on the face of it, are determined to do probably one of the more sensible things in their wretched, worthless, no -good-to-anyone, miserable lives ? Just seems like a needlessly insulting thing to say, to me.

" Oh , you want to put a stop to the pain and tedium that you dread having to go through every day? What a fucking stupid thing to do. "

Oh, cheers.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2018, 02:12:04 PM »
I know this is a tough time of year but please don't do anything stupid, you're highly valued here (especially by me) and if you are having suicidal thoughts please seek help from the NHS, or friends and family.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2018, 02:16:23 PM »
Hey man I'm so sorry and I know how you feel having only had three hours sleep the last two nights myself but please don't do anything stupid.

I know this is a tough time of year but please don't do anything stupid, you're highly valued here (especially by me) and if you are having suicidal thoughts please seek help from the NHS, or friends and family.

Sorry if I've misjudged the tone of Lisa Jesusandmarychain's posts; I was taking them as a joke, and thought we were riffing on how important space-bracket could be until you guys said this.

Please find support from the NHS, friends and family if you are having suicidal feelings, Lisa Jesusandmarychain.  People care about you.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #15 on: January 01, 2018, 02:29:25 PM »
Also, why do people say " Don't do anything stupid " to people who, on the face of it, are determined to do probably one of the more sensible things in their wretched, worthless, no -good-to-anyone, miserable lives ? Just seems like a needlessly insulting thing to say, to me.

" Oh , you want to put a stop to the pain and tedium that you dread having to go through every day? What a fucking stupid thing to do. "

Oh, cheers.

Ok I'm sorry, bad choice of words, but you know what I mean... and let's face it, killing yourself because you accidentally put an extra space in a thread title and then an anal twat like me picked you up on it, WOULD be at least a BIT stupid!

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much day to day. But please, I've been lurking on this strange little forum for a long time and your excellent username and posts always stand out. Please try to stick around with us.

Most suicidal people don't really want their lives to end, they want the way they are feeling to end. And given time, the way you are feeling will pass. Cliche but true: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

This page may help: https://metanoia.org/suicide/

Hang on in there. Best of luck.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #16 on: January 01, 2018, 02:31:41 PM »
misjudged the tone

Happens a lot round here lately, sadly. :(

But it wasn't you that did the damage on this thread, it was me.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #17 on: January 01, 2018, 03:10:55 PM »
So its now an hour since Lisa Jesusandmarychain last posted and they haven't been back on the board since. :(

Do we need to add to Barry's Caramel-ruined Xmas with a ruined New Year too by reporting this thread and getting Lisa's IP address thrown at the ambulance service?

Does anyone else have contact details for Lisa?

I am so very very sorry for this total shit fest that I have caused.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2018, 03:18:59 PM »
I'm friends with him on facebook so have just sent a short pm to him now.

Isnt Anything

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2018, 03:21:09 PM »
ty

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2018, 03:44:55 PM »
I'm friends with him on facebook so have just sent a short pm to him now.

Thanks.  Please reassure him that I was being facetious and thought he was as well.  I had no idea that he would perceive space-bracket as a genuine failure, and never wanted to push him if he's currently in a bad way.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #21 on: January 01, 2018, 04:12:13 PM »
I am so very very sorry for this total shit fest that I have caused.

At worst you've inflamed a pre-existing shit fest. I've been there. You can't expect not to bump up against people with problems on this forum, since that's basically everyone. (Except me, I'm a rock—everyone is welcome to slag me off whenever they fancy.) Sometimes you'll get unlucky and do it at exactly the wrong time. If it wasn't you at this particular time it would have been someone else at a different one. Don't worry.

If the problem could be made to go away by editing the thread title, that would be great.

touchingcloth

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2018, 12:48:56 AM »
TV programme The Windsors is fucking funny. Binged on it this week before watching Last Jedi again tonight, and spotted the Wills actor in a couple of shots and couldn’t get the word “Jedah” out of my head for the rest of the screening.

As a staunch Republican, I’m disappointed it took me so long to give that show a go.

touchingcloth

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2018, 12:51:17 AM »
At worst you've inflamed a pre-existing shit fest.

Anal sex.

I've been there.

We all know you have. Show off.

icehaven

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2018, 12:09:44 AM »
''It's time for bed said Zebedee.''

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2018, 01:55:39 AM »
I'm friends with him on facebook so have just sent a short pm to him now.

I hope he's okay. I don't think I'm spilling any worms when I say he used to post regularly on another quondam related forum, where he was consistently hilarious. One of his mad cross-forum riffs actually reduced me to tears of laughter, and I'm a laughing-on-the-inside miserable bastard, so that's something. (He was actually banned shortly after by the moderating pricks-that-be, and now hardly anyone posts there.) In summary Lisa, you're better than me.*

* in some ways

pancreas

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2018, 01:09:13 PM »
The hoi sin sauce you get with crispy duck in pancakes is not hoi sin sauce at all, which explains why it doesn't taste anything like it. Indeed it is another product, 'sweet fermented sauce' or 'tian mian jiang' or 'chinese bbq sauce' or 'peking duck sauce'.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2018, 01:12:58 PM »
'peking duck sauce'.

Sauce made from ducks that were killed whilst either peeking or pecking; not sure.

Also the crispy duck in pancakes isn’t crispy, is it.

Serge

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2018, 01:13:35 PM »
'sweet fermented sauce'

Which is, oddly enough, exactly what I shout upon being surprised.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2018, 01:14:57 PM »
Which is, oddly enough, exactly what I shout upon being surprised.

Except you add “Batman!” to the end, don’t you.