Author Topic: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )  (Read 67390 times)

pancreas

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #30 on: January 05, 2018, 01:18:07 PM »
Sauce made from ducks that were killed whilst either peeking or pecking; not sure.

They set up a sort of machine near river banks that looks a bit like a cannon with a massive testicle at the base. It makes a quacking noise that mimics ducks mating calls. The ducks waddle over to investigate and when they 'peek' down the end of the cannon then whooomp! they get sucked into it. At the bottom of the cannon there is a sort of grinder cum centrifuge and the ducks are pulverised and the liquid part becomes sauce. The bones etc are compacted into discs and need to be removed in a similar way to when a bean-to-cup coffee machine gets too full of coffee grounds. The pucks are either adapted for ice hockey or sent to food banks.

Serge

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2018, 02:24:14 PM »
Except you add “Batman!” to the end, don’t you.

Some days, I add "Batman!" to the end of every sentence. Confuses the hell out of customers.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2018, 02:26:11 PM »
Which is, oddly enough, exactly what I shout upon being surprised.

And it's what shoots out of me when I'm wildly aroused.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #33 on: January 05, 2018, 04:33:50 PM »
cum centrifuge

Reddit NSFL thread of the year 2018.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #34 on: January 05, 2018, 04:34:22 PM »
Eighties Eddie Murphy and present-day Jimmy Carr share the same laugh.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #35 on: January 05, 2018, 04:45:42 PM »
The hoi sin sauce you get with crispy duck in pancakes is not hoi sin sauce at all, which explains why it doesn't taste anything like it. Indeed it is another product, 'sweet fermented sauce' or 'tian mian jiang' or 'chinese bbq sauce' or 'peking duck sauce'.

What's The Pet Shop Boys' favourite Chinese condiment?

It's er...it's er...it's Hoi Sin.

mothman

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #36 on: January 06, 2018, 01:24:13 AM »
The hoi sin sauce you get with crispy duck in pancakes is not hoi sin sauce at all, which explains why it doesn't taste anything like it. Indeed it is another product, 'sweet fermented sauce' or 'tian mian jiang' or 'chinese bbq sauce' or 'peking duck sauce'.

Ahh. I wondered why I can never seem to find one that’s right. But, the same stuff is also in Pret’s hoisin lamb wraps, which I love..?

touchingcloth

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #37 on: January 06, 2018, 11:24:43 AM »
They set up a sort of machine near river banks that looks a bit like a cannon with a massive testicle at the base. It makes a quacking noise that mimics ducks mating calls. The ducks waddle over to investigate and when they 'peek' down the end of the cannon then whooomp! they get sucked into it. At the bottom of the cannon there is a sort of grinder cum centrifuge and the ducks are pulverised and the liquid part becomes sauce. The bones etc are compacted into discs and need to be removed in a similar way to when a bean-to-cup coffee machine gets too full of coffee grounds. The pucks are either adapted for ice hockey or sent to food banks.

Are they organic?

touchingcloth

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #38 on: January 06, 2018, 11:25:11 AM »
That “I like big butts” song isn’t from off of Shrek.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #39 on: January 06, 2018, 11:58:09 AM »
Shoe laces are supposed to be cut off and thrown in the bin, not "tied".

pancreas

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #40 on: January 06, 2018, 12:08:39 PM »
Shoe laces are supposed to be cut off and thrown in the bin, not "tied".

No they're called 'laces' because you're supposed to 'lace' them with things: liqueur/poison etc.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #41 on: January 06, 2018, 12:46:47 PM »
No they're called 'laces' because you're supposed to 'lace' them with things: liqueur/poison etc.

To intoxicate the shoes?  Or do the shoes have their own lacing agency?

pancreas

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #42 on: January 06, 2018, 12:48:39 PM »
To intoxicate the shoes?  Or do the shoes have their own lacing agency?

There are no formal arrangements. In fact it's lacez faire.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #43 on: January 06, 2018, 12:49:47 PM »
There are no formal arrangements. In fact it's lacer faire.

Mmm.


Alright then thanks for that I'll bear it in mind.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #44 on: January 06, 2018, 01:01:07 PM »
There is no legal requirement to salute policemen.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #45 on: January 06, 2018, 01:14:26 PM »
There is no legal requirement to salute policemen.

Unless they salute you first, it says.  And then if you don't salute back they are allowed to shoot you in the cock or breasts.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #46 on: January 06, 2018, 01:43:03 PM »
Unless they salute you first, it says.  And then if you don't salute back they are allowed to shoot you in the cock or breasts.

Yes, if they salute you then it’s very serious indeed.

I guess that’s why people don’t want to take the chance, so they just salute anyway.

But you don’t have to.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #47 on: January 06, 2018, 07:22:47 PM »
That “I like big butts” song isn’t from off of Shrek.

Not obvious since one should mostly ignore Mix-A-Lot's output after Swass

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2018, 07:31:17 PM »
What's The Pet Shop Boys' favourite Chinese condiment?

It's er...it's er...it's Hoi Sin.
How do the Beastie Boys have their toast ?
With CHEESE ON IT !

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2018, 07:45:49 PM »
There is no legal requirement to salute policemen.


On a similar note, it's entirely legal to urinate in a policeman.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2018, 08:54:15 PM »
On a similar note, it's entirely legal to urinate in a policeman.

Yes but it has to end up in their helmet or it doesn't count.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #51 on: January 07, 2018, 03:47:27 AM »
Doctors don't actually take a Hippocratic Oath.

Apollo at al must be seething.

touchingcloth

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #52 on: January 07, 2018, 11:24:18 AM »
Doctors don't actually take a Hippocratic Oath.

Apollo at al must be seething.

And the NHS will refuse to send a doctor to your local asclepeion to give you a willow twig to bite on while they let your blood to balance your humors. Roll on March ‘19.

icehaven

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #53 on: January 07, 2018, 12:11:30 PM »
What's The Pet Shop Boys' favourite Chinese condiment?

It's er...it's er...it's Hoi Sin.

Two days it's taken me to get that. Two days. And I've watched "It Couldn't Happen Here" more than once, by choice!

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #54 on: January 07, 2018, 12:34:37 PM »
What's The Pet Shop Boys' favourite Chinese condiment?

Considering the more exotic choices of meat consumed in the Far East, are there Pet Shop Soys?

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #55 on: January 08, 2018, 11:08:39 AM »
Yeah, you can put them on your chopped pak choi

Norton Canes

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #56 on: January 08, 2018, 11:11:11 AM »
Anyway

In Agile development, a scrum is "a simple framework for effective team collaboration". But a rugby scrum isn't a huddle, it's is a competitive thing where teams push against each other. Poor choice of terminology there.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #57 on: January 08, 2018, 01:10:27 PM »
Anyway

In Agile development, a scrum is "a simple framework for effective team collaboration". But a rugby scrum isn't a huddle, it's is a competitive thing where teams push against each other. Poor choice of terminology there.

In a rugby scrum there is a kind of huddle while everyone gets in position before everyone starts shoving and noses get broken.  So perhaps it is a good analogy of what happens when teams are forced to work together:  some calmness at the beginning before it all goes to shit.

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Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #58 on: January 08, 2018, 01:37:42 PM »
A rugby scrum is a collaboration of jammed together groins and arses.

“RUGBY” stands for “Non-Gay Frottage, Honest Guv”.

Re: Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )
« Reply #59 on: January 08, 2018, 10:06:03 PM »
Center Parcs isn't/ aren't under a big dome. I genuinely believed this until about 20 minutes ago.