Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 01:03:08 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Songs That Tell You How To Do The Dance And That's It

Started by Dr Rock, January 16, 2018, 11:12:04 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Dr Rock

These used to be all the rage, don't get them anymore. I was just listening to Do The Locomotion:

Everybody's doing a brand-new dance, now
(Come on baby, do the loco-motion)
I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now
(Come on baby, do the loco-motion)
My little baby sister can do it with me
It's easier than learning your a-b-c's
So come on, come on, do the loco-motion with me
You gotta swing your hips, now
Come on, baby
Jump up
Jump back
Well, now, I think you've got the knack
Wow, wow
Now that you can do it, let's make a chain, now
(Come on baby, do the loco-motion)
A chug-a chug-a motion like a railroad train, now
(Come on baby, do the loco-motion)
Do it nice and easy, now, don't lose control
A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul
So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion with me

Move around the floor in a Loco-motion
(Come on baby, do the Loco-motion)
Do it holding hands if you get the notion
(Come on baby, do the Loco-motion)
There's never been a dance that's so easy to do
It even makes you happy when you're feeling blue
So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion with me


And I must say, even after Kylie did a version, I've never 'done the locomotion.' Have you? I don't think it's very clear what you are supposed to do , apart from the 'jump forward, jump back' bit. Are you supposed to make a chain with other people, like that other song that people do at weddings where they go outside and then come back in again. What's that one called? Anyway as for 'There's never been a dance that's so easy to do' I'd say the Hokey-Cokey is easier to follow. Maybe Little Eva had not come across the Hokey-Cokey.


Here's one that gives you step-by-step, easy to follow instructions:

The Crusher by the Novas (later the Cramps)

Do the hammer lock do the hammer lock
do the hammer lock you turkey necks do the hammer lock
do the hammer lock you turkey necks everybody's doing it
do the eye gouge do the eye gouge you turkey necks
now do the eye gouge do the eye gouge you turkey necks, everybody's doing it
alright you turkey necks, i wanna teach you how to do the crusher,
and if you don't learn it now i'm gonna getcha
now first you take your fist and you put it on your waist,
then you squeeze your partners head until she's blue in the face
yeah do the crusher do the crusher do the crusher you turkey necks
do the crusher you turkey necks, everybodys doing it


Well, to be fair I don't know what 'the hammer lock' is, but the rest is quite plain. Never done it though.


So, er, list some songs that tell you how to do the dance, and say whether you've done them, basically. Prediction: No replies.

itsfredtitmus

Keep your arms as rigid as a juggernaut
Clench your fists, point your knuckles straight ahead
Do your best to look like a teddy bear
Then try and pretend to look vertically dead

DrGreggles


hamfist


Dr Rock


Brundle-Fly

Do The Hucklebuck - Coast To Coast

Now here's a dance you should know!
When the lights are down low!
Grab your baby
then go!
Do the Hucklebuck
do the Hucklebuck

If you don't know how to do it

Then you're out of luck!
Shove your baby in
twist her all around

Then you start a twisting mad and moving all around.
Wiggle like a snake
waddle like a duck

That's what you do when you do the Hucklebuck.
Here's a dance you should know!
When the lights are down low!
Grab your baby then go!
A little bit of that
a little bit of this

If you don't know how to do it
Ask your little sis.
Shove your baby in
twist her all around

Then you start a shaking in and moving all around.
Wiggle like a snake
waddle like a duck

That's what you do when you do the Hucklebuck.
Now here's a dance you should know! . . .
A little bit of that
a little bit of this

If you don't know how to do it
Ask my little sis.
Shove your baby in
twist her all around

Then you start a twisting mad and moving all around.
Wiggle like a snake
waddle like a duck
That's what you do when you do the Hucklebuck.
Do the Hucklebuck
do the Hucklebuck
. . .
Do the Hucklebuck.

DrGreggles


Dr Rock

It's just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the right.
With your hand on your hips.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust.
They really drive you insane.


Okay, got it. Simple!

With a bit of a mind flip...
You're into a time slip...
And nothing can ever be the same.
You're spaced out on sensation.
Like you're under sedation.


Right, now you've lost me.


studpuppet

The Bus Stop

QuoteBus Stop, Bus Stop
Are you ready! To do the Bus Stop
Bus Stop, Bus Stop
Form a line to the front
Form a line to the back
Are you ready! To do the Bus Stop

Four to the front
Four to the back

Four to the front
Four to the back
Two to the front
Two to the back
Front back
Left Back

studpuppet

And weirdly, the Monster Mash may have been a graveyard smash, but NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT.


alan nagsworth

WHY HAS NO ONE MENTIONED CHA-CHA SLIDE YET

"TAKE IT BACK NOW Y'ALL"

BELTER

buzby

Quote from: alan nagsworth on January 16, 2018, 11:58:59 PM
WHY HAS NO ONE MENTIONED CHA-CHA SLIDE YET
I'd already brought up the dark spectre of Black Lace - I thought I'd let someone else take responsibility for that.

alan nagsworth

Quote from: buzby on January 17, 2018, 12:02:37 AM
I'd already brought up the dark spectre of Black Lace - I thought I'd let someone else take responsibility for that.

*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

A FLOOR-FILLING BEAT FOR ALL TIME


Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Tighten Up by Archie Bell and The Drells

Hi everybody
I'm Archie Bell of the Drells, from Houston, Texas
We don't only sing
But we dance just as good as we walk
In Houston, we just started a new dance
Called the Tighten Up
This is the music we tighten up with
First tighten up on the drums
Come on now, drummer
I want you to tighten it up for me now, oh, yeah
Tighten up on that bass now
Tighten it up, ha, ha, yeah
Now let that guitar fall in
Oh, yeah
Tighten up on that organ now
Yeah, you do the tighten up, yeah, now
I said, if you can do it now
It sure would be tough
Now look here, come on now
Now make it mellow
Let's tighten it up now
Do the tighten up
Everybody can do it now
So get to it
We're gonna tighten up
Let's do the tighten up
You can do it now
So baby, get to it
Look to your left now
Look to...


That's all very well, Archie, but how the fuck are we supposed to do this dance? He informs us that he's just started this new rug-cutting routine in Houston, where it's presumably quite popular. He must've told them how to tighten up, but those secret instructions are of absolutely no use whatsoever to the rest of us.

Archie instructs the band to tighten up, so we get some insight into the arrangement process, but the non-Houston-based listener is left out in the cold.

I dunno, this Archie Bell fella strikes me as a self-satisfied hipster elitist. Fuck him and fuck Houston, frankly.


Dr Rock

I quite agree. Archie Bellend and the Time Wasters more like.


Glebe

And not forgetting...*

*Though technically it's a 'walk' rather than a 'dance'. As the title would imply.

non capisco

Quote from: studpuppet on January 16, 2018, 11:48:02 PM
And weirdly, the Monster Mash may have been a graveyard smash, but NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT.

I can never hear this song now without thinking of 'The Monster Fuck' from Comedy Bang Bang.

"Igor decided to FUCK his own DAD!"

jobotic


Jerzy Bondov

My wedding DJ told me he likes to do a fun thing where he gets the two families to have a dance off to Cha Cha Slide. I assured him that we would not be doing that under any circumstances.

I don't think it's a good set of instructions for a dance overall. Most of it is pretty easy to get your head round. 'Criss cross', that could be anything really but you sort of get the idea. 'Cha cha real smooth', I would argue most people aren't really sure what the cha cha is. Right near the end though, he goes 'Charlie Brown'. What the fuck is that? Step left and all that, yeah I'm fine with that. Clap, I can do. Charlie Brown? What's that? Run full pelt at a football and fall on your arse?

Oops! Wrong Planet

The Monkey Time - Major Lance (written by Curtis Mayfield)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0KlRpQeyvo

QuoteThere's a place right across town, whenever you're ready
Where people gather 'round, whenever they're ready
And then the music begins to play
You feel a groove comin' on its way
Are you ready (are you ready)
Well, you get yours, cause-a I got mine
For the Monkey Time (Monkey Time)
(Monkey Time)
Now the dance that the people do, I don't know how it started
All I know is that when the beat brings a feel
It's so hard to get parted
And then the music begins to play
Automatically you're on your way
Are you ready (are you ready)
Well, you get yours, cause-a I got mine
For the Monkey Time (Monkey Time)
Do the Monkey, yeah (do the Monkey Time)
Do the Monkey, yeah (do the Monkey Time)
Ah-twist them hips (twist them hips)
Let your backbone slip (let your backbone slip)
Now move your feet (move your feet)
Get on the beat (get on the beat)
Are you ready (are you ready)
Well, you get yours, cause-a I got mine
For the Monkey Time (Monkey Time)
(Monkey Time)
Now the dance that the people do, I don't know how it started
All I know is that when the beat brings a feel
It's so hard to get parted
And then the music begins to play
Automatically you're on your way
Are you ready (are you ready)
Well, you get yours, cause-a I got mine
For the Monkey Time (Monkey Time)
Ah, do the Monkey, yeah
Give me a big strong line
You're lookin' real fine

Jockice


Songs that request that you "Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care" but offer nothing further are not songs that tell you how to dance.

They need to give specific instructions and it helps massively if there is a music video.

"Lemme see ya just bouncin with me, just bouncin with me, just bouncin with me, come on.
"Lemme see ya just sliiiiiide with me,  just sliiiiiide with me,  just sliiiiiide with me, come on.
"Lemme see ya take a walk with me, take a walk with me, take a walk with me, come on.
"Now make the neck work. And scream."

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on January 17, 2018, 12:40:59 AM
Tighten Up by Archie Bell and The Drells

Hi everybody
I'm Archie Bell of the Drells, from Houston, Texas
We don't only sing
But we dance just as good as we walk
In Houston, we just started a new dance
Called the Tighten Up
This is the music we tighten up with
First tighten up on the drums
Come on now, drummer
I want you to tighten it up for me now, oh, yeah
Tighten up on that bass now
Tighten it up, ha, ha, yeah
Now let that guitar fall in
Oh, yeah
Tighten up on that organ now
Yeah, you do the tighten up, yeah, now
I said, if you can do it now
It sure would be tough
Now look here, come on now
Now make it mellow
Let's tighten it up now
Do the tighten up
Everybody can do it now
So get to it
We're gonna tighten up
Let's do the tighten up
You can do it now
So baby, get to it
Look to your left now
Look to...


That's all very well, Archie, but how the fuck are we supposed to do this dance? He informs us that he's just started this new rug-cutting routine in Houston, where it's presumably quite popular. He must've told them how to tighten up, but those secret instructions are of absolutely no use whatsoever to the rest of us.

Archie instructs the band to tighten up, so we get some insight into the arrangement process, but the non-Houston-based listener is left out in the cold.

I dunno, this Archie Bell fella strikes me as a self-satisfied hipster elitist. Fuck him and fuck Houston, frankly.

The instrumental cover by the Bamboos has a fantastic break on it though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TyIhY3LBMw

Jerzy Bondov


CaledonianGonzo


ASFTSN

Exodus - The Toxic Waltz

Here's a new dance craze
That's sweeping the nation
It's called the Toxic Waltz
And it's causing devastation
You're jumping up and down
Like a psycho circus clown
Slamming with waltzers
All the way around
You get caught up in the whip
Thrown into a flip
You aim for someone's head
To stain the floor red
Give someone a kick
To prove you're truly sick
Bounce back from some blows
And blood runs out your nose
Flailing round and round
And you're injury bound
Waltz it up!
The pit is it!
You can take your chance
On this rough new dance
If you dare!
To dive in!
There are some that try
But they don't survive
They don't hit!
'cause they're wimps!
And this exercise
helps you brutalize
With us!
Exodus!