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Songs That Tell You How To Do The Dance And That's It

Started by Dr Rock, January 16, 2018, 11:12:04 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

gilbertharding

The Birdy Song - usually an instrumental, of course, but there was a time when the entire assembly would chant 'With a little bit of that, and a little bit of that and shake your bum (oh shake your bum)'

Desolation.


alan nagsworth

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on January 17, 2018, 09:50:23 AM
Right near the end though, he goes 'Charlie Brown'. What the fuck is that?

It's where you try to keep the dance going despite the fact everyone else thinks it's a shambles and hates you. They leave, you feel sorry for yourself, walk home in the rain, and stay awake for hours as your anxiety pricks away at you endlessly into the night.



It's a difficult move to pull off but when you've spent as many years wallowing in misery and bad fortune as Chuck has, it's a piece of piss.

Brundle-Fly

Some nice instructions from Shrley Ellis during the impossibly brilliant The Clapping Song.

Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat clap your hand, pat it on your partner's hand
Right hand.
Clap pat clap pat clap your hand. Cross it with your left arm.
Pat you partner's left palm.
Clap pat, clap your hand, pat your partner's right palm
With your right palm again.
Clap slap, clap your hand, slap your thighs and sing a little song.

Clap clap (clap your hands and prepare to pat)
Pat (take your right arm put your partner's right palm with your right palm)
Clap (take your hand back and clap)
Pat (take your right arm, cross your right arm with your left arm. Pat
Your partner's left palm with your left palm)
Clap (take your hand back and clap)
Pat (take your right arm, cross your left arm pat your partner's right
Palm with your right palm.)
Clap (now back, with a clap)
Slap (take the pats of your palms and slap your thighs and watch the
Fun materialize as you sing this little song

Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWuSPPLtkEQ

Phil_A

Cab Radio favourite "The Lurch" by Ted Cassidy is certainly novel for being a dance instruction record that doesn't actually tell you how to do the dance. In fact, if you hadn't been fortunate enough to see this TV appearance of Cassidy lurching it up on Shindig back in the day you wouldn't have clue how you were intended to do The Lurch "to any song".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmM7N2RMryM


Calistan

The Jacques Tati

Quotegot a brand new walk
Make you real happy
So let's declare it a dance
It's called the Jacques Tati

Jacques Tati
Dance the Jacques Tati

You kind of lean your head
You kind of get on your toes
(Look out, watch out for that post)
Try to take big steps
And when you start to coast
Take a look on down at nothing (in) particular

Leave!

Dance the Jacques Tati

You gotta move/(go) real fast
There's a certain flow
And all the people you pass
Will try and smile hello

'Cause it's a lame old world
Where the future meets the past
Stuck out here in traffic
On the road to rocking land

It's the Jacques Tati
Dance the Jacques Tati

Now all the steel and glass
Don't let it bother you
'Cause there's a lot of laughs
All within the view
Now I'm not saying there's nothing that you can do
You can, you can

Dance the Jacques Tati

Now we must all try and understand
The films of Jacques Tati
So let's declare it a dance
And carry on the legacy

Dance the Jacques Tati

I got a brand new walk
Make you real happy

Dance the Jacques Tati

You can also DO the manta ray.

Dr Rock

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 18, 2018, 06:00:26 PM
Some nice instructions from Shrley Ellis during the impossibly brilliant The Clapping Song.

Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat clap your hand, pat it on your partner's hand
Right hand.
Clap pat clap pat clap your hand. Cross it with your left arm.
Pat you partner's left palm.
Clap pat, clap your hand, pat your partner's right palm
With your right palm again.
Clap slap, clap your hand, slap your thighs and sing a little song.

Clap clap (clap your hands and prepare to pat)
Pat (take your right arm put your partner's right palm with your right palm)
Clap (take your hand back and clap)
Pat (take your right arm, cross your right arm with your left arm. Pat
Your partner's left palm with your left palm)
Clap (take your hand back and clap)
Pat (take your right arm, cross your left arm pat your partner's right
Palm with your right palm.)
Clap (now back, with a clap)
Slap (take the pats of your palms and slap your thighs and watch the
Fun materialize as you sing this little song

Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!
Clap pat, clap pat, clap pat clap slap!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWuSPPLtkEQ
Probably the best song in the thread (tied with the Crusher maybe) AND the only one that properly tells you how to do the fucking dance it's telling you to do.


Icehaven


non capisco

Quote from: icehaven on January 18, 2018, 10:28:57 PM
Page fucking two and no mention of the Stonk?!!

It was a possibly a pre-planned bit ("yeah, he's the COOL one, he doesn't want to join in!") but I've always enjoyed Rob Newman's "appearance" in that video, he's contracted to do it but cannot bring himself to submit to the clusterfuck of intense naffness that is The Stonk. Baddiel's method is to sarcastically overdo it, Newman is genuinely paralysed by shame and disgust. Or perhaps he's just remembered that "She's got cancer" thing he apparently did when he was on The James Whale Show that's still never shown up on YouTube.

shiftwork2

Everybody's Doin' The Crab.  LITERALLY NOBODY DID OK.

Desolation in this Seaside Special type thing here, I've spared you the comedy at the start.


gilbertharding


JoeyBananaduck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CinviAVC5jY

The Bristol Stomp. Apparently it involves stomping. And some bloke called Daddy G

Brundle-Fly

This number has overstretched itself by having too many dance routines to demonstrate in just two and a half minutes. He doesn't help himself with the time constraint by the inclusion of a sax solo, intermittent grunts, screeching and na-na-na-naaing either. By the end, Pickett even concedes this folly to the listener.

Land Of 1000 Dances - Wilson Pickett
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fa4BfPQiKs

One, two, three
One, two, three
Ow! Uh! Alright! Uh!

Got to know how to Pony
Like Bony Moronie
Mash Potato
Do The Alligator
Put your hand on your hips, yeah
Let your backbone slip
Do the Watusi
Like my little Lucy

Ow! Uh!
Na, na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
Na-na na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
Need somebody help me say it one time!
Na, na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
Na-na na-na na-na
Na-na na-na

Wow!
Ow!
Uh!
You know I feel alright?
Hah!
Feel pretty good, y'all
Uh-hah!

Na, na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
Na-na na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
C'mon y'all, let's say it one mo' time!
Na, na-na na-na
Na-na na-na
Na-na na-na na-na
Na-na na-na

Ohh!

Dancin' in the alley
With Long Tall Sally
Twistin' with Lucy
Doin' the Watusi
Roll over on your back
I like it like that
Do that Jerk, oh
Watch me work, y'all

Ow! Do it!
Wow! Do it!
Watch me do it
Ohh, help me!
Ohh, help me!
Ohh, help me!
Ohh, help me!

Dr Rock

The last lines seem to indicate that doing that many songs (which do not number one thousand also) it is hazardous to your health.

Brundle-Fly

He just about manages to teach a couple of moves (putting hands on hips, letting your backbone slip and so on) but doesn't specify which dance these instructions are for: The Alligator or The Watusi?  He should have got Lucy in the studio.  It's a bloody shambles.

drdad

The Fall - The Aphid

And who can ever forget this one?

Six times parking
Six, four
Form bar and six
Form a boxline
The aphid
The aphid
Bend down
Scratch around the carpet for insect
Get hook clamp
Stand up
Gel frame
Put insect in a jar
The aphid
Walk back two, three and four
Stop for a rest
Go back to scratch
The aphid
Hook clamp
Go back down
Scratch around the floor
Take hook clamp and put in jar
The aphid
Cover up with gel frame
Take two times four o o o one
UV gun back
Go back to the floor
Scratch around
Five, six supplied
The aphid
Bend right back
Form a boxline, sidecar
The aphid
Twenty times steps back
Frizzo
Get hook clamp
Turn to barn door
Retrieve kill frame

(Absolutely wonderful)

[Spoken, (not MES)]:

"Take six bottles of the six back, stand up straight, then bend down and scratch the carpet for insects and, if you find any, put the insects into the jar, than check the clamp on the jar and take six steps back. Ensure the hook clamp is on the jar and that's the aphid."

studpuppet

Keep your arms as rigid as a juggernaut
Clench your fists, point your knuckles straight ahead
Do your best to look like a teddy bear
Then try and pretend to look vertically dead

Everybody's Doing The Len Ganley Stance...

studpuppet

Quote from: drdad on January 20, 2018, 02:31:38 PM
The Fall...

And of course (not sure the dancer is actually following the instructions, though):

Here's a dance that is pure hell
Enter at your peril
Take five dead beat steps
Do a stroll
Act like you just got outta jail
You must be repellant
Dance dead beat descendant

Turn left shout and shout come back here
Then hot-tail it right outta there
You are now descendant
You are a now descendant

Make out your head is in a bell
And you got a man on your trail
And you are descendant, of a vicious criminal


jenna appleseed

Quote from: gilbertharding on January 18, 2018, 11:06:41 AM
The Birdy Song - usually an instrumental, of course, but there was a time when the entire assembly would chant 'With a little bit of that, and a little bit of that and shake your bum (oh shake your bum)'

Desolation.

Delayed imaginary karma - I knew there was a non-instrumental version of the song.
Was it from something off the telly?

jenna appleseed

#52
Quote from: icehaven on January 18, 2018, 10:28:57 PM
Page fucking two and no mention of the Stonk?!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVkhR9sPML0
It's even got Brucie ffs.

First single I ever bought* + first and last 7" vinyl single bought new until Razorlight's L.O.V.E eta: Vice turned up as part of  HMV's/THE NME's vinyl revival in @ 2004.

Thanks to Fast Forward magazine printing instructions (prob with illustrations), I was briefly the closest I ever got to cool, being the only one who knew how to do the dance, in my class.
Totally forgotten by by everybody else as soon as it happened, mind.

* Still got it, partly out of nostalgia + featuring Brian May & the thank you dedication to Freddie Mercury on the back.




Oh, do it
Oh, do it
Do it
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle
Oh, do it
Oh, do it
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle

blue reel



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y38Ec57yMG8

Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shaking and twitching kinda like I was smoking
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humping, funking, jumping
Jig around, shaking ya rump
And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stump
Tell him step off, I'm doing the Hump


jobotic

Nice. I was listening to Doowatchyalike just last night.


oopett