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CaB magazine wants *YOU'RE* funny writing! (deadline midnight Feb 18th)

Started by doppelkorn, January 18, 2018, 09:27:57 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

doppelkorn

The CaB magazine has been formed. Your esteemed panel of editors has thrust itself forward and is working round the clock on this vital organ – set to give print media a last-minute injection of vim and vigour. These editors are:

  • doppelkorn
  • pancreas
  • Fambo Number Mive
  • zomgmouse
  • Golden E. Pump
We want *YOU* to send us your funny stuff! We're looking for:

  • cartoons
  • photoshops
  • short stories
  • funny articles
  • monologues
  • poems
  • drawings
  • letters to the editors
  • gags
  • japes
  • laffs
  • wheezes
  • spoof adverts
  • spoof articles
  • spoof anything

What we're not looking for is a printed version of CaB, so please don't send us anything you've already posted on here. We're also unlikely to consider any material based on CaB running jokes or in-jokes.

We may decide to include a small number of things that have already been posted on here, but we will contact the posters directly.

The deadline is one month from now: midnight on Sunday 18 February 2018!!

You can submit your work via PM to a member of the editorial panel, along with the name you'd like to be credited under. We accept file attachments, or if it's just text, you can just put it in the body of the PM. Whatever – we're flexible on that. The editorial panel will vote on all submissions and may, in some cases, ask you to re-work elements of your submission.

If you have any questions, please ask here or contact a member of the editorial panel directly.

spamwangler


Small Man Big Horse

This all sounds great to me. When it comes to photoshops, what size should the image ideally be?

doppelkorn

Um....ask zomgmouse. About as big as a piece of paper or a little bit smaller, ideally.

pancreas

I apologise for the grammatical mistake in the thread title. It was my idea. This is the way the whole project will go. It will be fine and then I will ruin it.

Let's get stuck in.

BlodwynPig

made a start, doppel, check if its kind of what you want - how many words have I got?

pancreas

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 18, 2018, 09:55:42 PM
made a start, doppel, check if its kind of what you want - how many words have I got?

Well, we've discussed this and we've decided you're not to be trusted with any more than a handful.

BlodwynPig


doppelkorn

I opened the PM and it was just some rude noises and a big load of glitter that's now all in my hair and on the carpet

pancreas

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 18, 2018, 10:05:47 PM
ok consider my contribution done and half-finished

OK, please PM it to me so I can reject it quickly and painlessly.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: doppelkorn on January 18, 2018, 10:06:41 PM
I opened the PM and it was just some rude noises and a big load of glitter that's now all in my hair and on the carpet

This is the sort of Editorial bullying I expect from Vanity Fair!

Cerys

Quote from: doppelkorn on January 18, 2018, 09:47:51 PM
Um....ask zomgmouse. About as big as a piece of paper or a little bit smaller, ideally.

Also bear in mind that it's for print, so dpi will be important.

Golden E. Pump

We've had some pretty good discussions around potential content, themes, names, straplines etc.

Looking forward to receiving some submissions.


zomgmouse

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on January 18, 2018, 09:46:04 PM
This all sounds great to me. When it comes to photoshops, what size should the image ideally be?

It would be great if they could be as large as possible; scaling down is always possible whereas scaling up is likely to induce vomit. As Cerys points out, dpi is important - around 300dpi would be cool. Maybe aim for an A4 size as that's the maximum it'd be on the page (except if we have a centrefold spread...).

doppelkorn

Quote from: Gregory Torso on January 19, 2018, 01:34:00 AM
I might attempt something. Is there a word limit?

Not really, but we're most likely doing it A4, so probably not more than two pages of A4 when laid out, which is roughly 600 words or something? That's a rough guide.

Just do what you feel like, and if it's really too long, we'll ask you to edit it (or even worse, hack away at it ourselves).

doppelkorn

Good response so far everyone (via PM), thanks. I'll respond to you each when I have a moment.


biggytitbo


doppelkorn



And don't try and be clever and submit that. It's already our front cover.

doppelkorn

Quote from: ASFTSN on January 19, 2018, 05:12:45 PM
How funny do drawings have to be to be accepted?

It only has to be funny enough to convince three out of five power-crazed idiots on the editorial panel.

(HINT: you only have to bribe three people, so pick the cheapest)

steve98

I hadn't noticed medieval man's mouth before; he's doin' a Les Dawson kissy-lips  thing(whilst flashin')


madhair60

Can I do MS Paint Comics for it or should I just not bother my arse

pancreas

Quote from: madhair60 on January 19, 2018, 05:29:58 PM
Can I do MS Paint Comics for it or should I just not bother my arse

You are on one of our lists of people explicitly to solicit contributions from. So, that's a yes please.

BlodwynPig

There's a list. I assume a secret list. Who is not on your list? Hmmm? HMMMMM?

pancreas

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 19, 2018, 05:51:49 PM
There's a list. I assume a secret list. Who is not on your list? Hmmm? HMMMMM?

Well, not you, clearly, since you're ostracised. Let the desperate PMs begin...

biniput

Do we PM Pancreas or Doppelkorn? I have the odd idea for written stuff by my English is grotesque. You may need to know about things like paragraphs to help me out.

biggytitbo

I'm thinking of doing another diary, maybe of someone modern and relevant this time, like Henry Winkler.

madhair60

Quote from: pancreas on January 19, 2018, 05:39:16 PM
You are on one of our lists of people explicitly to solicit contributions from. So, that's a yes please.

<3

Golden E. Pump

Quote from: biniput on January 19, 2018, 06:45:59 PM
Do we PM Pancreas or Doppelkorn? I have the odd idea for written stuff by my English is grotesque. You may need to know about things like paragraphs to help me out.

Happy to help if you PM me. I know paragraphs and shit.