CaB magazine wants *YOU'RE* funny writing! (deadline midnight Feb 18th)

[Gwen Taylor on ITV]

I do not give you permission to use any material from my series of short stories, "John's been wanking".

[Cerys]

What about my unrelated series, Joan's Bean Flicking?

[pancreas]

Do we PM Pancreas or Doppelkorn? I have the odd idea for written stuff by my English is grotesque. You may need to know about things like paragraphs to help me out.

Any of us, but dops is safest. I'm not to be trusted and may bowdlerise.

[QDRPHNC]

I have a couple of viz-style fake adverts I could dig up and send over.

[doppelkorn]

All contributions have been – and will be – warmly received*

*i.e. I will piss on them

[Chairman Bodog]

I'm happy to screedscrawl some poetika. I think each issue should also have a countdown page about things you can stick up your batty gape and such and that.

[pancreas]

I'm happy to screedscrawl some poetika. I think each issue should also have a countdown page about things you can stick up your batty gape and such and that.

Do it.

[Gwen Taylor on ITV]

What about my unrelated series, Joan's Bean Flicking?

[Chairman Bodog]

I was rummaging through the scrap stack drawer and found this chaffy draff written urgently on a ripped pad note.

Sandy dons her pencil skirt
Her dick wet fingers stink of squirt
She wears her rack bust
Tart and high
Black panties see through
Never dry
Snack hatch discharge
Come ebb and flow
But Tarzan sweat beads just for show

If I do some more digging I can snap up more dross for y'allmans.

[doppelkorn]

I was rummaging through the scrap stack drawer and found this chaffy draff written urgently on a ripped pad note.

Sandy dons her pencil skirt
Her dick wet fingers stink of squirt
She wears her rack bust
Tart and high
Black panties see through
Never dry
Snack hatch discharge
Come ebb and flow
But Tarzan sweat beads just for show

If I do some more digging I can snap up more dross for y'allmans.

Cheers, but don't post it here. PM one of us.

[weekender]

I've thought about this, and have concluded that it's a crap idea that I want no part of.

If you have a letters page, perhaps you could include this as a letter of complaint in issue 1?

[pancreas]

I've thought about this, and have concluded that it's a crap idea that I want no part of.

If you have a letters page, perhaps you could include this as a letter of complaint in issue 1?

Expand it out. I think we's only publish a fulsome rejection of our concept.

[biggytitbo]

I sent you something doppelkorn, feel free to toss it on the fire.

[kittens]

sorry boys i'm offer only

[Shay Chaise]

Egomaniacs.

[zomgmouse]

sorry boys i'm offer only

PMed you. It's the one where I call you a twat.

[Cerys]

I've submitted stuff, and have I had a single reply?  No!  It's almost as if they're actually busy making this happen rather than wasting time pandering to our fragile egos.  It's a fucking disgrace.

[sirhenry]

Best of luck with this...
it worked out so well last time (http://www.51055.com/cab-annuals/CaBannual2012.pdf _{(sound may only work when downloaded, buggered if I can hear anything looking at it in Firefox)})
and the time before (http://www.51055.com/cab-annuals/CaBannual2011.pdf)


Want my advice?
_{Obviously not or you would have asked.}

[biggytitbo]

Wow I don't remember the 2012 one, it looks ace.

[Kane Jones]

Want my advice?
_{Obviously not or you would have asked.}

You and DCT were both recommended for advice by shiftwork2 in t'other thread about the magazine, SirH.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,64649.0.html

Good to see you, by the way.

[pancreas]

Best of luck with this...
it worked out so well last time (http://www.51055.com/cab-annuals/CaBannual2012.pdf _{(sound may only work when downloaded, buggered if I can hear anything looking at it in Firefox)})
and the time before (http://www.51055.com/cab-annuals/CaBannual2011.pdf)


Want my advice?
_{Obviously not or you would have asked.}

Eurgh. Get this legacy shite out of here. We want fresh piss.

[sirhenry]

In that case, I'd advise avoiding print entirely. It adds ages to the production time, and I can't imagine sorting out getting money from verbwhores will have got any easier. Unless someone wants to cover the entire cost of a print run and then hope they all sell.

No, pdf is the way to go. Cheap, quick, allows interaction, sound, animation and these days people are even more used to throwing their money at virtual tat than they were in our day. So literally money for nothing and spellchecks for free.

Good luck with it and I'll take a complementary copy when it comes out, cheers.

[Kelvin]

Eurgh. Get this legacy shite out of here. We want fresh piss.

I know you like to be daddy round here, but it's a bit fucking rude to post something like that in response to sirhenry, even if you think you're just being loveable old pancreas. 

[pancreas]

I know you like to be daddy round here, but it's a bit fucking rude to post something like that in response to sirhenry, even if you think you're just being loveable old pancreas.

Sorry Kelvin. Sorry, sirhenry.

[Kelvin]

Sorry Kelvin. Sorry, sirhenry.

I dunno. Maybe I over-reacted. It just read a bit off to me.

[Kane Jones]

I dunno. Maybe I over-reacted. It just read a bit off to me.

I must say, Pancs' comment took me aback slightly, even though I know he was joking. I was just pleased to see SirH posting, and hoped Pancreas' comment wouldn't push SirH away.

[Janie Jones]

[The editors have drawn up] lists of people explicitly to solicit contributions from.

I thought this was a joke but no, people who have not contributed to any of the threads about the magazine or expressed any interest in it have been approached and asked to contribute. So, if you're not one of the people deemed talented enough to have been approached, how do you feel now about contributing? If you enthusiastically sent a contribution in unsolicited, how do you feel about it now? Do you wonder if you would have otherwise been chosen to participate in this circle jerk?

It's absolutely none of my business how the editors and their chosen contributors go about this project and I'm not talented enough to contribute or to have been approached to contribute. I imagine the editors would say there are talented posters who lack confidence or motivation or maybe just missed this thread calling for contributions and it's a good, positive thing to contact them so they know their talent is recognised, and encourage them to submit something.  I'd have felt really proud and happy to have been contacted and asked to contribute and it's nice that some chosen people might be feeling like that.  There might be an issue with diversity and the editors might try to seek out people who are not white males (like them and most CaB members) to try to bring some other voices into the magazine. 

The problem with having this policy is how demotivating it is to the people who are not approached and how exclusive it feels.

[steve98]

I can't see them seeking out non-white comedic males for the obvious reason that they're not funny. Why don't you comfort yourself with the thought that the other albums weren't funny and this one'll be the same?

[doppelkorn]

Post

You've raised a lot of good points, so let me try and explain why we've done what we've done.

How diverse is the magazine?
I don't know. The panel, as you know, was self-selecting. The list of potential contributors to contact was drawn up by us. We've also received a lot of submissions. I don't know the demographic details of most of the people above. While we welcome a diverse range of contributors, we didn't explicitly engineer that into the process - partly because I don't have experience of how to do that. If anyone with relevant experience wants to volunteer as a "diversity officer" for the editorial panel for issue #2 (should it ever happen), that would be most welcome.

How open and democratic is the production process?
While there's room for improvement, we've put in place several measures.

1. There is an editorial panel, rather than one executive editor
2. Panel membership was open to anyone
3. All submissions are voted on anonymously by the panel
4. Even if a submission is voted in or out, there are measures in place to "appeal" the decision (among the panel)
5. I've suggested that the panel members rotate each issue, although there's widespread scepticism as to whether issue #2 will ever happen.

Why did you make a list of people to contact?
As you noted in an earlier thread, "real-world" projects by online communities can be hard to get over the line. We set ourselves deadlines for submissions, but we know that people will forget. Therefore we decided to pester people who had either loosely committed to writing something, or who frequently post the type of thing we're after on CaB, to submit pieces.

Like any creative endeavour, the production of this magazine involves some subjective decisions about what we want to include. We drew up a list of people on CaB who, in the past, have posted the kind of things we'd like to see in the magazine. Note that this list is inclusive (i.e. individual panel members added names, but nobody was removed). Note also that not all people on this list been have (or will be) contacted for various reasons - e.g. if they've submitted work without being solicited.

As to whether people find it demotivating not to have been contacted. Perhaps, but the list is subjective. It exists for practical reasons: to obtain (the sort of) stuff we know we want in the magazine. Having said that, we've already received lots of great submissions from people not on the list, and will be putting out further, more specific calls for content as the magazine takes shape.



This isn't a perfect project. We're trying to strike a balance between transparency, fairness, and getting things done. We'll make mistakes, sure, but we've tried to decentralise decision-making to the greatest practical extent.

[pancreas]

Janie, we haven't even finished trying to PM people on our makeshift list and that was only formed by randomly spouting names of people we could think would be interested in doing something. There was no exhaustive method. Most of those people on that list are regular contributors to HS Art, so we knew for those historical reasons they would probably be interested in contributing.

It's my fault. I shouldn't have said there was a list. As I say, it's mostly just a list of everyone who's posted 500 odd times in HS Art.