Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 07:09:23 PM

Login with username, password and session length

People or "things" which, implausibly, you or your mate(s) have no knowledge of

Started by gazzyk1ns, February 03, 2004, 01:32:09 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

gazzyk1ns

This is very similar to an old thread I think - my memory seems to recall Kingboy saying that a friend had never heard of the cold war? If anyone wants to "reclaim" their thread then just say, I'll edit this post with it. But I'm not just re-starting it for the sake of it anyway, I'm bursting to tell you all my little story... read on.

Tonight, I was talking to my mate on MSN. He was watching Never Mind The Buzzcocks, and he said I should go and watch it too as it was quite funny. I said something like "hmmm.... who's on?" and he replied "Well, some guy from Space and... some old guy... dunno who it is..."

Who was it? Lionel Blair. He turned 23 a couple of weeks ago, and he had no idea who Lionel Blair was. He'd obviously not just "forgotten" either - as I said, he was actually watching the programme and had been for 5/10 minutes. The idea that someone my age could have never heard of Lionel Blair is.. just ridiculous to me.

Had any similar experiences?

Cerys

Having the piss ripped out of me because I used the phrase 'a nine day wonder'.  None of my mates had heard of it.  I was treated to patronising references to 'provincial sayings'.  Twunts.

TOCMFIC

A friend, I'll call him Rob, because that was his name and he's a prick...

We were in the video store one day looking for a movie to rent, and he sees "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein", and he said, in all seriousness, "I hate it when directors put their name in the movie title."

I ignored it, but internally I was saying "Why the fuck am I friends with this dolt?"

Cerys

At least he didn't say, 'she is?  They got a woman to play him...?!'

Bilko

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"This is very similar to an old thread I think - my memory seems to recall Kingboy saying that a friend had never heard of the cold war?

When I was at school my history teacher asked someone on the same table as myself 'why was the Cold War called the Cold War.' His reply was 'because It was fought in the WInter'. What a spazz

fanny splendid

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"Who was it? Lionel Blair. He turned 23 a couple of weeks ago

Lionel Blair is only 23?!!

Borboski

I worked with a lass who did a philosophy degree but had never heard of Nietszche. Not to say I pushed her in front of a bus or owt, but I was surprised.

Youngster these days eh?

UBERMENSCH!!!

UNTERMENSCH!!!

hencole

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"This is very similar to an old thread I think - my memory seems to recall Kingboy saying that a friend had never heard of the cold war?

It was my work colleague. He had not heard of communism either. He is from Cornwall.

An ex of mine had never heard of the Daleks which is probably worse.

Lady Beany

I wasn't sure what 'scampi' was until about a year ago.  I am so ashamed.  Worst thing is, was that I pretty much announced this in front of my main circle of friends!  I haven't been able to live it down since!

I also shared a flat with a Vietnamese gal called Duyen in Hall at University.  She was born in britain, but I soon began to realise that she had led a very sheltered ilfe until she moved to London, from Birmingham.

ANYWAY, a few of us were sat in St James park one afternoon, when Duyen suddenly piped out 'Whats that building over there?'  It was only Buckingham fucking Palace.  Now because that wasn't humiliating enough as we rolled about on the floor laughing she then pointed to what is the top arch of the Millenium Wheel and said 'Is that where Alton Towers is?'

Oh and there is one more about her.  We used to do our weekly shopping together in the local Tescos.  We got to the checkout and I got out my debit card to pay for my shopping, she looked horrified and said laughing 'You can't use that in here!'  I looked at her and said 'Of course I can you stupid cow' and proceeded to pay.  Once we got outside she said 'But I thought you were not allowed to use debit cards in supermarkets?'  

Turns out she had no idea how to manage her finances and up until that point (a full year into university) she had been putting EVERYTHING onto her credit card.

Soz for the long posty!

fanny splendid

Quote from: "Borboski"I worked with a lass who did a philosophy degree but had never heard of Nietszche. Not to say I pushed her in front of a bus or owt, but I was surprised.

I did a feminism course at University, and there were girls on that who had never heard of Germaine Greer. (NWS link)

Purple Tentacle

Quote from: "Lady Beany"'scampi'

Stop being ashamed of this, I honestly didn't know that there is no such fish as the Scampi until you pointed it out on this very board.

And I consider myself quite intelligent.

Bert

I only discovered about a year ago that globe artichokes and Jerusalem artichokes are completely separate and un-related vegetables.

Mr Crippen

A particularly hairy-armed harpy I was unfortunate enough to know at university believed the Thomas the Tank Engine books were written by the Rev. W.H. Auden :|

An exchange that haunts me to this day is one that took place whilst watching 24 last year.

Me: Bah!  Fah!  As if America will have a black president in the forseeable future - we haven't had a black Prime Minister yet and not such a large percentage of our voters are redneck hicks!
Friend: Yeah!  We haven't even had a woman Prime Minister yet!

When my other friend went "Nurrrr!  Margaret Thatcher!!" she tried to claim she, like, dur, knew that, but, you know, she's hardly a woman *cough*!!  I remain unconvinced though, as her political awareness is such that when I asked her in 2001 if she was voting in the election, she thought I was talking about a uni society election no-one had told her about.

Ooh!  Another uni friend asked me once what left wing and right wing were, because she kept getting confused when her boyfriend mentioned them.

Mein liebe Gott!  How are these people alive??

Crippen[/i]

Russ

My housemate Gav said to me the other day "I just found out that Jim Davidson used to do racist jokes."

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: "Lady Beany"I wasn't sure what 'scampi' was until about a year ago.  I am so ashamed.  Worst thing is, was that I pretty much announced this in front of my main circle of friends!  I haven't been able to live it down since!
Panic ye not...I went to school with a bloke who'd never heard of quiche.  One of our lot managed to convince him, Call My Bluff style, that it was an eight-legged South American mammal whose name was pronounced "Hui-chee" or something and was a great delicacy in certain culinary circles.

Quote from: "Lady Beany"Soz for the long posty!
Not at all, makes a nice change!

Now someone's going to tell me that they've never heard of "Call My Bluff".

fanny splendid

Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"Now someone's going to tell me that they've never heard of "Call My Bluff".

What's a 'Toksvig'?

Mister Six

Circumstances (ie: living in Hull) forced me to work in a factory for six months, where I met a lad called Barry. Hull isn't exactly the most culturally diverse of areas, so when I explained that calling every dark-skinned person a "p**i" probably wasn't a good idea he just stared at me blankly. I explained to him the differences between coming from India and Pakistan, and the friction between the two countries. He nodded and said,

"Well yeah but there's different sorts of Indians isn't there?"

Seeing that I hadn't quite cottoned on, he elaborated:

"Well, Indians that live in curry shops aren't the same as Indians that live in wigwams are they?"

Vermschneid Mehearties

QuoteHull isn't exactly the most culturally diverse of areas

I'd disagree with that. It's extremely diverse. The actual problem is that none of the different ethnic groups mix in the slightest, a problem increased by segregation, and growing resentment from Hull's pikeys that they are somehow stealing their jobs, whilst they pay for their homes and cars. Nevermind that they don't have jobs themselves, or are benefit cheats.

Hull is a shithole and is one of the last places in the country I'd wish to live.

Geej

My Secretary had never heard of Charlie Manson.
She said "Is he that rock chap with all the make up on?"
I was heard muttering "For fucks sake!"

She allegedly has a 1st in Political Science, but has little to no understanding of the world around her.

I sent her the grisliest link I could find, as well as giving rather frighteningly accurate descriptions of his crimes.

She now looks at me as though I am severely twisted.

Job's a good 'un.

23 Daves

I had an American girlfriend once who saw a poster for a Socialist party in London and was shocked that they existed.

"That's... like... weird.  We'd never have a Socialist Party in America.  Never", she said, before regaining her composure.  

It didn't last.

She was a philosophy graduate as well, by the way, and had lived in London for 2 years before this comment.  You'd think she would have noticed there were Socialists In Britain within that time.

hencole

Quote from: "Geej"My Secretary had never heard of Charlie Manson.

I have heard, but have no idea who they are. Sounds like a serial killer or something.

vladyeti

Rather appropriately for this board, I was talking to someone at work last week who had never heard of either Chris Morris or Peter Cook.

He wanted to copy any MP3s I had in the car as he'd just bought an iPod.  I gave him my music CDs to copy, and also offered him some comedy, as I have all the Morris music shows and Blue Jam in the car.

Despite being only 25 he'd never heard of Morris, or Peter Cook, or Derek & Clive, all of which staggered me.  I wanted to say "you know - the guy who did Brass Eye", but I didn't want to get lynched by any Daily Mail readers who might be in earshot.

Vermschneid Mehearties

Heehee. My hatred of that rag of shit is so strong now, I even walked to work with a Brass Eye T-shirt on. My job is to sell newspapers, and the mail outsells everything else by 5 to 1 in my town. Argh.

Tokyo Sexwhale

We had a Biology quiz  when I was in the final year at school...and the guy who sat next to me was asked:

"What is the average amount of sperm produced by a human male?"

To which he replied "About a pint."

Either he hadn't started wanking by the age of 16, or he should have been in porn films.

Tokyo Sexwhale

Oh, and a girl I worked with couldn't name:

Five Beatles songs
Five British Prime Ministers, or
Five American Presidents.

She has an MA in Finance.

thomasina

Quote from: "fanny splendid"
Quote from: "Borboski"I worked with a lass who did a philosophy degree but had never heard of Nietszche. Not to say I pushed her in front of a bus or owt, but I was surprised.

I did a feminism course at University, and there were girls on that who had never heard of Germaine Greer. (NWS link)


I did a degree in political philosophy and there were girls on that who didn't have any idea what feminism was.  When they first asked, I thought it was just the normal modern reluctance to label onesself a feminist so that you don't get taken for a ballbusting man hating thing.  Then it became clear that they REALLY literally meant they didn't know what it was.

I love this thread.

This isn't really that embarrassing, as they're a fairly new band, but it still made me laugh.
I was talking briefly to my ex last week and mentioned I was going to see Franz Ferdinand. He said he'd never heard of him, "but I know he's a rapper..."

This reminded me of why he IS my ex.

thomasina

I'd just started going out with someone and asked him if he liked Chinese food.  he said yes, he liked scampi.

And it always embarrasses me that I watched the Extraordinary League of Gentleman thinking that it was Johnny Depp playing Dorian Gray all the way through.
*blushes*

Sam

I once talked to a 7 year old girl who didn't know about the actualization, realization and self-conciousness of the Geist in Hegel's absolute idealism.

How I laughed!

thomasina