People or "things" which, implausibly, you or your mate(s) have no knowledge of

[Mediocre Rich]

Can someone explain "Waste not, want not" to me? Am I being stupid? I take it means "you will not want" rather than "you don't want xxx"? Is that right?

If you do not waste things then you will never want for anything.  It has it's origins in the US.

I was explaining this to my flat mate earlier in the week (honestly these cold winter nights just fly by!)  He seemed to think that it meant don't waste what you don't want.  Which does make sense in a more recycling hippy kind of way I suppose.

[kenneth trousers]

How do you break a jigsaw puzzle?

Anyway, after a few beers the other night it was decided that we would hold a curry night in the T - bar after work, next Monday. It was agreed that a few of us would make our own currys and we would all judge which is best.
I`m making my famous lamb keema, Barney is going for vegatable dansak and Tosh (my boss) is making chicken satay (?)
Dougie has broadband so he is in charge of getting some sitar music to give the evening atmosphere, however when given this task he mentioned that he did`nt know what a sitar was or sounded like,
"you know Dougie, like what you hear in curry houses?"
"I`ve never been to a curry house"
Dougie is 20 stone and apparently likes curry but has never been out for one.
He was also tasked with bringing some chopped onion, lime pickle, yogurt etc which he could`nt because
"Tina (his wife) says it will stink the house out. Its bad enough that I`m going to come back smelling of curry! "
A chopped onion will stink the house out? What do these people eat?

Any ideas?

[Purple Tentacle]

How do you break a jigsaw puzzle?

Well all the ones I've ever bought have been smashed to pieces when I've opened the box.

I'm thinking of writing to Watchdog.

[Ambient Sheep]

Crikey - I wish I'd never gotten into this.  This doesn't refer to half price stuff, people say it when they describe how cheap something is (or at least that's how I've always understood it).  That's why the saying is wrong, as I said previously.

I'm with you on this one.  That is all.

[El Unicornio, mang]

This is exactly the argument I had with him. I'm amazed anyone on here doesn't understand it's incorrectness. Saying "it would be cheap at half the price" is like saying "I wouldn't sleep with her even if she was the rotting dead corpse of Bella Emberg", it's stating the obvious.
The correct phrase is "cheap at twice the price" because, say you found a CD you liked for 50p, you could say it was cheap at twice the price because even for a quid it's still cheap.

[Raminagrobis]

Some Americans say "I could care less", which is a nonsensical (or possibly just kinder) version of the phrase "I coudln't care less".

There was a correspondance about this in the Guardian the other week, explaining the origin of this idiom. Obviously the phrase 'I couldn't care less' predates it, but 'I could care less' means exactly the same thing.  You just have to imagine it's being said by a hardened Brooklynite: 'I could care less (!?)'. The ironic intention of the phrase doen't come across unless it is spoken.

"I'm some kind of idiot" is very different from "I'm some kind of idiot?"

[falafel]

Both of these cropped up during a single game of Cranium: "Oh! I thought Winston Churchill was American!" and "World War 2? Wasn't that nineteen-twenty-something?".

And here's a very weird one, that seems almost like wilful misinterpretation: in Uni accomodation last year, there was a pinboard in every room, which was fronted in some kind of canvas-hessian material. On each board was pinned a notice saying "Please use drawing pins only on this board".  At the end of the year, I ventured into the room of the guy two rooms down from me, and noticed that his board was speckled with massive lumps of blutack which had ingrained themselves into the material. I said to him "Why have you put blutack over the board? It's ruined now; can't you see that big notice?" - it was unmissable - to which he replied "Yeah, that just means that's the only place you're meant to put drawing pins, right?"

What a fucking tard. I mean, lovely guy and all, but what a fucking tard.

[Cerys]

Okay.  'Cheap at twice the price' is a phrase used to illustrate the fact that the item in question is so reasonably priced that even were the price doubled, it would still be considered a bargain.  'Cheap at half the price' is generally used by (a) people who don't grasp that basic premise, or (b) post-modernist wannabe comedians.

Any questions?

[Raminagrobis]

Just one: is it possible that the phrase 'cheap at half the price' has its origins in that great British Isles tradition that is sarcasm? If something is overpriced one might spit  the phrase through gritted teeth: 'Oh yeah, cheap at half the price!'. This is how I would use it, and I am pre-modern, unambitious and humourless.

Obviously the idiom has subsequently been co-opted by that (a) crowd to mean the opposite, but that lot always ruin everything for the rest of us.

[easytarget]

I still don't know how to use semicolons; anyone with me on this?

My grammar is appalling, so I've starting reading this The Elements of Style

Do not join independent clauses by a comma.  
If two or more clauses, grammatically complete and not joined by a conjunction, are to form a single compound sentence, the proper mark of punctuation is a semicolon.
 
Stevenson's romances are entertaining; they are full of exciting adventures.
It is nearly half past five; we cannot reach town before dark.

So now you know.

[Raminagrobis]

Do not join independent clauses by a comma.  
If two or more clauses, grammatically complete and not joined by a conjunction, are to form a single compound sentence, the proper mark of punctuation is a semicolon.
 
Stevenson's romances are entertaining; they are full of exciting adventures.
It is nearly half past five; we cannot reach town before dark.

So now you know.

Ah, but it's not as simple as that. If the two independent clauses are meant to form an antithesis, a colon should be used, not a semi-colon. e.g.:

"To err is human: to forgive is divine"

[twatloops]

While doing a journalism course, there was a girl there who had no idea what the holocaust was.  Also, entirely coincidentally, she had a shirt from top shop that said "Combat 18 girl" on it, in an 80s stylee.  She got really offended and paranoid when we all started grilling her on her latent fascism as she didn't know what it meant.

I was in a band with three major reading-types, one of which now teaches English Lit.  When "Englishman in New York" came on the radio, I mentioned Quentin Crisp to a room full of blank expressions...

[Mister Six]

This is exactly the argument I had with him. I'm amazed anyone on here doesn't understand it's incorrectness. Saying "it would be cheap at half the price" is like saying "I wouldn't sleep with her even if she was the rotting dead corpse of Bella Emberg", it's stating the obvious.
The correct phrase is "cheap at twice the price" because, say you found a CD you liked for 50p, you could say it was cheap at twice the price because even for a quid it's still cheap.

Right. So it's not an inherently incorrect phrase is it?

[gazzyk1ns]

... she had a shirt from top shop that said "Combat 18 girl" on it, in an 80s stylee.  She got really offended and paranoid when we all started grilling her on her latent fascism as she didn't know what it meant.

Hehe I remember about a year ago, talking in a pub to a girl with one of those new, fashionable, tight Motorhead tops. I didn't expect her to own their back-catalogue for a second but, I shit you not, she wasn't aware they were a band.

[Bogey]

I cannot even begin to understand why there are so many people around and about with the legend: "CUBA" writ large on their hoodies, rather like those ones people pay for so they can get to advertise "GAP" with their damn torsos.

"Hmm... large ethically dubious clothing outlet or cigar-loving communist Caribbean island...?", as they probably don't think to themselves.

Hrmm, but that's just the tip of the clothing-slogan iceberg isn't it?

[morgs]

It's just that "cool" thing isn't it??  Nike or Adidas blazed across your chest.  "Lokk at me, I can afford to buy over-priced mercandise!"   Cuba trackie tops sell cheaply at Matalan and sound quite cool and distant I suppose...

PS - My ex-girlfriend uses "brought" when she should say "bought" and vice versa and SWEARS that she is right!

PPS - It was always a 9 day wonder when I grew up in Cardiff Cerys! (MORE support!)

[Ambient Sheep]

And here's a very weird one, that seems almost like wilful misinterpretation: in Uni accomodation last year, there was a pinboard in every room, which was fronted in some kind of canvas-hessian material. On each board was pinned a notice saying "Please use drawing pins only on this board".  At the end of the year, I ventured into the room of the guy two rooms down from me, and noticed that his board was speckled with massive lumps of blutack which had ingrained themselves into the material. I said to him "Why have you put blutack over the board? It's ruined now; can't you see that big notice?" - it was unmissable - to which he replied "Yeah, that just means that's the only place you're meant to put drawing pins, right?"

What a fucking tard. I mean, lovely guy and all, but what a fucking tard.

Although technically speaking, he was correct.  That's what the sentence means.  "only" is a wonderful word, you can place it all over a sentence and change the meaning subtly every time.  It should have read "Please only use drawing pins on this board" or perhaps "Please use only drawing pins on this board".

However the fact that he couldn't divine the correct meaning does make you wonder if he had Asperger's or something.

[kenneth trousers]

Just thought of another.
I was out with my mates on Friday and the conversation got round to my stag weekend and wedding. Bob asked where me and Mrs Trousers where going for our honeymoon.
"New York then Antigua Bob, but I`m not sure what the weather will be like in New York at the beginning of May"
"It will be red hot, my parents went to America last May and they came back with a sun tan"
(you know where this is going don`t you)
"where did they go in America Bob?"
"Orlando"

[thomasina]

Just one: is it possible that the phrase 'cheap at half the price' has its origins in that great British Isles tradition that is sarcasm? If something is overpriced one might spit  the phrase through gritted teeth: 'Oh yeah, cheap at half the price!'. This is how I would use it, and I am pre-modern, unambitious and humourless.

Obviously the idiom has subsequently been co-opted by that (a) crowd to mean the opposite, but that lot always ruin everything for the rest of us.

Exactly.  It was said ironically and has now become meaningless with overuse.  This whole debate has made me wonder how long it will be before we're puzzling over why we compliment things by saying they're 'better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick'.

[Purple Tentacle]

Ms_Tentacle insists that H is pronounced "haitch", despite me pulling up numerous dictionary references to pronounciation.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

I don't understand why flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

Also, my cousin thought Dame Edna Everage was a real woman.

[Ambient Sheep]

I don't understand why flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

They don't...well they do, but they shouldn't.

The correct term is "inflammable", which if you think about it seems reasonable enough, i.e. "liable to be inflamed".  However the word "flammable" started to creep in about 15-20 years or so ago now, allegedly after a few nasty incidents where people had thought "inflammable" meant something *couldn't* be set alight.

With a sigh and a roll of the eyes the linguists decided that it wasn't worth arguing this one if it kept a few fuckwits alive, and so "flammable" is now in common use.

Sources: my brain cells.

[sproggy]

However the word "flammable" started to creep in about 15-20 years or so ago now, allegedly after a few nasty incidents where people had thought "inflammable" meant something *couldn't* be set alight.

The HSE dropped the word inflammable quite some time ago, for this very reason.  It just sounded too much like unflammable for it's own good, hoorah for common sense I say.

What's a 'Toksvig'?

It's a complicated surgical procedure, involving the fusing of the neck vertebrae to produce a Jools Holland type quality to the voice.

[bigbowlofwrong]

Also, my cousin thought Dame Edna Everage was a real woman.

My "mate" at college thought RuPaul was "well fit". How we laughed. And gave him dead arms for clearly being gay.

[Bogey]

A friend of mine who is an idiot, but of the sort who seem to be inexplicably successful and respected by intelligent types, thinks it's "skellington".

[gazzyk1ns]

As usual Sheepface has put everyone on the rollercoaster towards knowledgeville here. There are two things which can make me vomit blood at people spontaneously after seemingly being in an innocent situation. One is people saying "Oh, did you see that Michael Moore film? Lots of facts there which might surprise you." and the other is "hahahahahahah did you know flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? its stoopud lolololol". It's like when someone calls Marty "Chicken" in BTTF.

No offence to Tokyo there obviously, just a pet hate.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

As usual Sheepface has put everyone on the rollercoaster towards knowledgeville here. There are two things which can make me vomit blood at people spontaneously after seemingly being in an innocent situation. One is people saying "Oh, did you see that Michael Moore film? Lots of facts there which might surprise you." and the other is "hahahahahahah did you know flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? its stoopud lolololol". It's like when someone calls Marty "Chicken" in BTTF.

No offence to Tokyo there obviously, just a pet hate.

No offence taken, you cunt.

Although in my defence, I didn't laugh like a maniac, and I genuinely didn't realise it was such an oft-quoted old chestnut.

I'll add that to my list of ignorance.

[gazzyk1ns]

Ummm not sure how you meant that, but I was kind of trying to imply that nobody should know the difference... reading my post again it's not very clear at all, is it... I had to do a PLG course (lifeguard) a few months ago where they call you a twat if you don't know it so maybe that's my prejudice.

EDIT: and I was a bit drunk when I got in last night and for some reason felt it necessary to post nonsense, sorry.