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March 28, 2024, 10:12:40 PM

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Can't stop reading Graham Masterton novels

Started by madhair60, January 31, 2018, 10:49:13 AM

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madhair60

They're all exactly and precisely the same. It's great. You have some procedural stuff or some bloke running around like "demons aren't real, oh fuck demons are real", then there's really explicit sex and incredibly brutal violence. There must be 300,000 of these books. They're all the same. Ancient Indian spirit or Ancient Japanese spirit smashing people's heads in. Loads of cocks getting cut off and thrown around and that. Mental. Mental! Can't stop reading them even though there are many other books to be reading.

madhair60

Tengu: japanese vengeful spirit killing women

Manitou: native american vengeful spirit killing women

Devils of D-Day: WWII vengeful spirit killing women or men I forgot. I don't remember.

These are modern classics of literature as far as I'm concerned.

Serge

Just wait until you get started on his sex manuals.

EDIT: I particularly like the title 'How to Make Love Six Nights a Week', because you've got to have a day off, obviously.

bushwick

I got loads of his stuff during my pulp horror obsession a few years ago but never got round to reading any as I thought they might be a bit 'tame'. From what you've described they sound pretty much tailor-made for my degenerate taste. Thanks! Is Devils of D-Day a good one to start on? think I've got that somewhere.

(if you like terrible, OTT,  stupidly explicit, "can't believe someone has actually written this and got it published" pulp horror then read 'Eat Them Alive' by Pierce Nace. Trust me on this one. I should probably start a thread about it)

bushwick

someone should write their PHD on "Genital Mutilation in Pulp Horror Fiction of the 70s and 80s". Comes up a lot in the field, and in cowboy books - I read one (ghosted by Shaun Hutson) where the baddy gets his dick chopped off and a passing coyote runs off with it in its mouth.

madhair60

Quote from: bushwick on January 31, 2018, 01:51:43 PM
I got loads of his stuff during my pulp horror obsession a few years ago but never got round to reading any as I thought they might be a bit 'tame'. From what you've described they sound pretty much tailor-made for my degenerate taste. Thanks! Is Devils of D-Day a good one to start on? think I've got that somewhere.

(if you like terrible, OTT,  stupidly explicit, "can't believe someone has actually written this and got it published" pulp horror then read 'Eat Them Alive' by Pierce Nace. Trust me on this one. I should probably start a thread about it)

Mate read "Black Angel". It is fucking batshit. Abject madness. Opens with the most startlingly brutal slaughter, gets MENTALLER AND MENTALLER

Also he does these crime novels, "Katie MacGuire", they're incredible - procedural, cheerful stereotyped Irish adventures then somebody gets fucking skinned alive in meticulous detail. Outrageous.

madhair60

#6
Looked up Eat Them Alive, fucking thirty quid, no thanks. No Kindle version either, sort it out Pierce.

Edit: Did more research. Sweet christ, I need to read this.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Serge on January 31, 2018, 01:12:16 PM
Just wait until you get started on his sex manuals.

EDIT: I particularly like the title 'How to Make Love Six Nights a Week', because you've got to have a day off, obviously.

How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed, 1976
How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed, 1987
More Ways to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed, 1985
How to Drive Your Man Even Wilder in Bed, 1995

The 1976 one must have been shit. "Tickle his bollocks, or something. I don't know". Or maybe it's just thinly veiled attempts to get his wife to do more stuff. Like one line accidentally has "perhaps try anal, Barbara" left in it.

Spoon of Ploff

Read Night Warriors #1 a very long time ago. Yeah. I'm not proud about that. Could anyone give me a summary of the rest of the series? Actually, just the imaginative deaths and pervy sex dreams will do.

madhair60

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on February 01, 2018, 02:59:07 PM
Read Night Warriors #1 a very long time ago. Yeah. I'm not proud about that. Could anyone give me a summary of the rest of the series? Actually, just the imaginative deaths and pervy sex dreams will do.

Never heard of this, looked it up. Again, no Kindle version. Print is dead, why is he doing this? I can't get Flights of Fear either and apparently that's got a short story about a woman having extra vaginas surgically added. I mean, I need to read this. And that mantis thing some wanker mentioned.

Spoon of Ploff

Just a thought after looking at this:



I know there are awful album cover, movie poster and yes book cover threads, but horror book covers are a gold mine of bad.


bushwick

#11
Quote from: madhair60 on January 31, 2018, 02:27:07 PM
Mate read "Black Angel". It is fucking batshit. Abject madness. Opens with the most startlingly brutal slaughter, gets MENTALLER AND MENTALLER

Also he does these crime novels, "Katie MacGuire", they're incredible - procedural, cheerful stereotyped Irish adventures then somebody gets fucking skinned alive in meticulous detail. Outrageous.

Thanks! Just scored a 2nd hand copy of Black Angel off ebay for £2. About time I start reading this sort of thing again (I had to take a break after reading so many dodgy pulp novels they all were blending into one in my head - the same thing happened with Italian cannibal films).

Really weird that 'Eat Them Alive' is so dear now. Used to be able to get it for pence off amazon. Second hand book market on amazon seems to have gone really weird - loads of stuff seems to have disappeared (eg the EDGE westerns by George G Gilman, also highly recommended).

(On a similar tip, do anything you can to find "Bamboo Guerillas" by Guy N Smith. Crazy indefensible jingoistic jungle japes, chock full of pornographic detail and revolting sexual violence, not GNS' usual camp stuff...)

EDIT: check this place out, I used to live on this bloody forum, pulp horror goldmine:
http://vaultofevil.proboards.com/

Famous Mortimer

Cheers bushwick, round my neck of the woods it's lousy with shops with stacks of pulp Westerns in, so I might dip my toe in with a little of Mr Gilman. I always sort of fancied those Executioner novels - I mean, if you don't want to read a book with this cover, then what the hell is wrong with you?


bushwick

Got a good few Executioners. The first few are pretty good. The later 80s ones are a bit tame though. That series started a cottage industry of 'one man against the mafia' men's adventure books. Ah I'll stop thread shitting and start a new one for my pulp recommendations when I get home...

...but I would start by spending a few hours reading the reviews here (then getting pissed off when you see the amazon prices: www.glorioustrash.blogspot.co.uk

madhair60

If anyone would like to assist me with getting hold of Eat Them Alive (and, for that matter, Let's Go Play At The Adams'), please PM me. Thanks.

bushwick

Quote from: madhair60 on February 02, 2018, 12:45:36 PM
If anyone would like to assist me with getting hold of Eat Them Alive (and, for that matter, Let's Go Play At The Adams'), please PM me. Thanks.

There's a chance I may have a spare copy of Eat Them Alive - lent it to a friend years ago and thought he'd lost it but he may know where it is. I will check with him and get back to ya dude

Famous Mortimer

madhair60 and bushwick, I will scour the shelves of my local Half Price Books, yard sales, estate sales, and the numerous "antique malls" that are just collections of tat, and get back to you. Let's start another thread, because I'm a bit clueless about what to look for (my old mate Kev used to swear by certain western authors, although I never paid him much attention).

madhair60

#17
That Bamboo Guerillas book is on Kindle for £3.59.

Edit: I bought it.

Edit 2: Fucking hell

bushwick

Quote from: madhair60 on February 02, 2018, 02:16:41 PM
That Bamboo Guerillas book is on Kindle for £3.59.

Edit: I bought it.

Edit 2: Fucking hell

haha great stuff! it's a fuckin banger eh? closest thing I've read to an Ilsa film

madhair60

I'm not quite done with it yet. I'm impressed by how many opportunities to undercut any tension or catharsis they've actually sprung for, by killing off the two major villains so far in an almost derisory, deeply unsatisfying way.

madhair60

Well that had no fucking ending. Ten out of ten

bushwick

hahaha! it's a doozy for sure.

If you want a book that will genuinely disturb you and make you feel rank, I recommend this. Colonial exploitation thing based on true events allegedly. I read another one of this guy's books (real name Andre Jute) that was more far-fetched, Boy's Own type stuff, just light trashy pulp, but Atrocity Week is really bloody horrible and quite well-written:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Atrocity-Week-Andrew-McCoy/dp/0446825344

(doesn't seem to be going for stupid money yet either)

bushwick

Quote from: madhair60 on January 31, 2018, 02:27:07 PM
Mate read "Black Angel". It is fucking batshit. Abject madness. Opens with the most startlingly brutal slaughter, gets MENTALLER AND MENTALLER

picked up a cheap copy of this off ebay on your recommendation, about 80 pages in so far. Yeah it's quality stuff for sure, some good ludicrous violence descriptions. I love the way the first chapter really hammers it home, telling us "that was the end of the last meal he would ever eat" right from the first paragraph..."...crimping the pastry around the edge of an apple-and-cinnamon pie, a pie that she would never bake"..."The next name that Joe Berry Junior-Junior would be called would be 'People's Exhibit H'... "There were marginally fewer than eight minutes left to go". Really playing up what a charming, lovely, innocent family they are and how they are soon to die horribly. I was like "Come on! Fuck em up! Hahahaha! Yeaaaah, and the kids too!" waiting for the Fog City Satan to do his thing.

Was having a ratch the other day and realise I actually have loads by this guy so will get stuck in to a few more.

madhair60

Oh mate just wait for the fucking ending. It's like a fucking Beano comic. Masterwork.

I also recommend his short story books, Flights of Fear, Feelings of Fear, Festival of Fear, etc. Glorious.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

I wrote about his 80s political thriller when I noticed it was topical

Will post a proper link soon

Short version: US President controlled by Russians, someone has a photo of him with a hooker engaging in golden showers.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Try this

https://www.facebook.com/notes/SPAM/bay-of-pigs/10154720052991013/

(requires you to be on Facebook as I've never bothered setting up a proper blog)


madhair60

Is that the book that's recently been re-released as "The Hell Candidate"?

Edit: It is not.