Last Moments Left Alive

[Misspent Boners]

In the last hours of my life as I slipped further and further outside of the fabric of reality; when time was just a jumbled mess, I became a small child again. Many things happened as I fell like water through various set pieces and scenes from my 32 years but this pocket of time stands out the most. I was with my father in the house in Michaelston I lived in until I was 7, in the living room huddled into a blanket on the windowsill with a Famous 5 book. Outside there was an impossible dark and rain hammered onto the glass. I'm not convinced there was anything actually outside just black. Looking idly around as if asleep the front room had a soothing but nonetheless thick darkness to it too. On the sofa in the corner furthest away from me sat my father. I lowered myself onto the carpet and ran to him. I leapt onto his lap and hugged him tight. It was weird because he has never been an affectionate man and probably had never hugged me like this when I truly was a child. I felt a profound sense of peace and love and my tiny frame engulfed in his arms...I felt like nothing could ever hurt me. Eventually the rain outside pit pattered weaker and weaker although I felt an immense draft of air suddenly hit us from above. I looked up. There was no roof or upper rooms above us. Maybe there never had been and I simply hadn't looked up, my level of consciousness equated to being heavily sedated or stumbling through a dream. No, no roof just sky. And what a sky it was. Every colour imaginable bled subtly into the other, tiny stars like flecks of white paint were dotted throughout. I hugged my father tighter. A strong taste of sea salt and seaweed tingled on my tongue. His embrace was so warm and the atoms around us and connecting us seemed to be infused with pure love and peace. I got the impression slowly that we were not humans any longer but bears; I was a baby bear cub clinging to his father. The magic in the world was all revealed to me at once in one big overwhelming moment. The magic of nature, love and things deeper still, things I didn't really understand. In my last moments alive I had spent what I imagine was a whole lifetime in itself flitting through endless moments, time bleeding into each other much like the Northern Lights above us now. But I can't think of any more fitting, emotive epilogue than that last final scene before I finally slipped into the ether and shut down forever.

How would you like to spend your last moments left alive?