Author Topic: Being nude in public  (Read 2175 times)

Being nude in public
« on: March 09, 2018, 04:56:00 PM »
I was nude in public the other day.  It was on a film set, and I was one of about forty people participating in a scene depicting Fellini-esque decadence, gluttony and shagging.  Of the forty about fifteen were fully nude; most of the others had underwear and a few were fully dressed.  Then there were a dozen or so crew members.  They were all fully clothed of course.

Never in my life had I thought I would be in such a situation.  But it wasn't uncomfortable or unpleasant.  In fact - who knew?! - watching women of varying attractiveness wearing nothing, or indulging in bizarre sexual behaviour right in front of you (simulated, except for the snogging), can be fun.  (There were men present too, but even considering that I don't enjoy looking at them quite as much they were on the whole a real bunch of munters, me included.) 

The crew were terrific. No giggling, no hint of embarrassment, eye contact was unwavering.  The experience was a positive one.  (Until it appears on TV that is.  I have already made the mistake of telling a couple of friends I was doing this.)

Anyone else been naked in front of fully clothed strangers before?


Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2018, 05:05:58 PM »
on a film set, and I was one of about forty people participating in a scene depicting Fellini-esque decadence, gluttony and shagging

So how'd you get that gig?

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2018, 05:10:10 PM »
Serious question, did you get at least a semi?

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2018, 05:15:25 PM »
Sounds like Chinballs' Doctor Who is going for a more adult audience.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2018, 05:28:12 PM »
Sorry didn't realise that this topic was so common.  I had posted in one of those threads too! Although this one is about being nude when others aren't.

Serious question, did you get at least a semi?

Yes I did, watching two beautiful women kissing each other passionately, but I was out of shot and so had my towel wrapped around me at the time.  (During takes we had to look directly at the spot where the main character was standing.)

One of the two women had once been employed as the Listerine Princess, going around the country with Clifford the Dragon promoting said mouthwash.  She never got to meet Willie Rushton, sadly.

She told me she had never kissed a girl before and was a little uncomfortable with breaking her dykey duck.  But when they said 'Action!' she was giving it 100% even so.

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2018, 05:32:15 PM »
Listerine girl? She a pensioner now then? Old girl on girl action.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2018, 05:34:57 PM »
So how'd you get that gig?

I'm registered with an extras agency.  Money was very good. Two days, £99 basic per day, plus £17 travel, £12 on the first day for having to change costume at one point (being Mr Versatile I had played both 'Golfer' and 'Party-goer'), about £60 overtime each day and £250 bonus on day two for doing the full flash.  Those who stripped to their underwear got a £150 bonus.  The total I earned was about £620.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2018, 05:38:21 PM »
So what were you doing in these scenes with your winkie out?

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2018, 05:40:46 PM »
Listerine girl? She a pensioner now then? Old girl on girl action.

Mid-40s I'd say.  She looks good, though her bosom is not I think the one God gave her.  Her partner for the day was truly beautiful though, but was a little pissed off as because the shoot overran she missed the chance to audition for a Maltesers ad which would have netted her £4k.

But there was genuine pensioner snogging: two ladies, one about seventy, the other eighty (she told me so) were tongue wrestling.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2018, 05:48:27 PM »
So what were you doing in these scenes with your winkie out?

I was eating a cake.  I was eating it while laughing hysterically and looking with manic intensity at the spot where the dismayed lead character was standing.

When I say 'eating', I was in fact literally cramming it into my mouth.  The director had told us he wanted it to be 'grotesque', and I believe I delivered.  I delivered four or five times in fact.  How I didn't puke is beyond me.

Next to me was a young lady, also nude, also laughing hysterically, who was holding a large red velvet cake which she was smearing all over her body.

Next to her was another young lady.  This lady was fully dressed in a waitress's uniform, but she didn't feel too left out because she was holding a baguette with which she was enthusiastically masturbating.

Dr Syntax Head

  • Empty alcohol
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2018, 06:02:20 PM »


But there was genuine pensioner snogging: two ladies, one about seventy, the other eighty (she told me so) were tongue wrestling.

Details plz

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2018, 06:16:28 PM »
I was eating a cake.  I was eating it while laughing hysterically and looking with manic intensity at the spot where the dismayed lead character was standing.

When I say 'eating', I was in fact literally cramming it into my mouth.  The director had told us he wanted it to be 'grotesque', and I believe I delivered.  I delivered four or five times in fact.  How I didn't puke is beyond me.

Next to me was a young lady, also nude, also laughing hysterically, who was holding a large red velvet cake which she was smearing all over her body.

Next to her was another young lady.  This lady was fully dressed in a waitress's uniform, but she didn't feel too left out because she was holding a baguette with which she was enthusiastically masturbating.


Is it for Doctor Who then?

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2018, 06:19:12 PM »
What is the etiquette on getting an erection in that situation? Is it frowned upon?

Can you still simulate sex with an erection or is that not allowed?

itsfredtitmus

  • screwdriver lolly
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2018, 06:19:16 PM »
what film
nobody asked this yet?

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2018, 06:22:35 PM »
what film
nobody asked this yet?

No, but I'm not answering anyway.  I've already given enough info for myself to be identified.  It's not Doctor Who though.

What is the etiquette on getting an erection in that situation? Is it frowned upon?

Can you still simulate sex with an erection or is that not allowed?

Yes it would be considered a faux pas.  The only people who were simulating sex, or any physical contact, had to have at least underwear on.  I'm not sure if this is a new post-Weinstein rule or one just peculiar to this set.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2018, 06:23:02 PM »
I once thumbed my flaccid dong into the open mouth of a brass statue of a famous Chinese orphan hero in the middle of a city of twelve million. Musta been several hundred people saw it.

Legend Gary.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2018, 06:25:47 PM »
These episodes of Holby City are definitely becoming more far-fetched.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2018, 06:31:44 PM »
New Mary Berry cooking show a hit with viewers.

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2018, 06:37:18 PM »
What is the etiquette on getting an erection in that situation? Is it frowned upon?


How do you frown upon an erecting? You'd have to kneel at least.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2018, 06:54:12 PM »
What happened to this baguette after the scene was done?

itsfredtitmus

  • screwdriver lolly
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2018, 06:59:22 PM »
What happened to this baguette after the scene was done?
bummed it like

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2018, 07:02:11 PM »
What happened to this baguette after the scene was done?


The catering department have a waste not want not attitude.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2018, 07:12:04 PM »
What happened to this baguette after the scene was done?

I asked the girl if the baguette had been her idea.  "No, when they called they told me what they wanted me to do."

This weekend she will learn if she has been successful in her audition for an Amazonian warrior in Wonder Woman 2.  I think she has a good chance: she's slim, about 5' 10", with jet black hair and ivory white complexion, and she can ride horses, use a bow and arrow and did courses in sword fighting and unarmed combat in stage school.  "And even if you don't get Wonder Woman," I told her, "to us you will always be Baguette Girl."

I'm not quite sure what you would say is her super power though.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2018, 09:57:17 PM by Keebleman »

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2018, 08:09:49 PM »
I asked the girl if the baguette had been her idea.  "No, when they called they told me what they wanted me to do."

"But... none of us called you, we thought you were improvising..."

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2018, 08:12:34 PM »
I asked the girl if the baguette had been her idea.  "No, when they called they told me what they wanted me to do."

"Ah, yes, we had to sack that intern a couple of weeks ago..."

Better Midlands

  • I'm not internationally known
Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2018, 08:50:29 PM »
This guy fucks.

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2018, 08:52:05 PM »
I was eating a cake.  I was eating it while laughing hysterically and looking with manic intensity at the spot where the dismayed lead character was standing.

When I say 'eating', I was in fact literally cramming it into my mouth.  The director had told us he wanted it to be 'grotesque', and I believe I delivered.  I delivered four or five times in fact.  How I didn't puke is beyond me.

Next to me was a young lady, also nude, also laughing hysterically, who was holding a large red velvet cake which she was smearing all over her body.

Next to her was another young lady.  This lady was fully dressed in a waitress's uniform, but she didn't feel too left out because she was holding a baguette with which she was enthusiastically masturbating.


So you delivered on being an grotesque cake eater, nice one. Whats more, you delivered on being an greedy, bulimic idiot too! You coulda eaten the cakes ala cookie monster (ie not eat them), or licked them like you were teasing a clit?  Hey ho, at least you weren't naked, and being filmed eh. Click click ;)

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2018, 09:14:05 PM »

So you delivered on being an grotesque cake eater, nice one. Whats more, you delivered on being an greedy, bulimic idiot too! You coulda eaten the cakes ala cookie monster (ie not eat them), or licked them like you were teasing a clit?  Hey ho, at least you weren't naked, and being filmed eh. Click click ;)

No, I was naked.  However, directly in front of me was a guy in underpants who also had a cake, and he was just licking it, something I didn't realise until the very last take.

I should point out for those concerned about my calorific intake that I was given just a slice of cake each time, and I never managed to consume more than half. 

Re: Being nude in public
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2018, 09:16:06 PM »