The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[McFlymo]

He's serious as cancer when he phobes the transers

[pancreas]

Very good, you're hired.

Here's your prize



It actually could be an important plot as it shows that from a theoretical point a view the addition of external hydrogen into an anaerobic system may result in stabilisation of periodic orbits emerging from a Hopf bifurcation. In layman's terms - it confirms that the model represents the qualitative behaviour of these systems, in which hydrogen has stabilising effect on a synthetically engineered syntrophic three species acetogenic-methanogenic food-web. Layman's Layman's - we can control anaerobic digestion using hydrogen as a control variable, and know qualitatively how.

BOLLOCKS

[canadagoose]

I was maybe a bit delirious due to being ill, but I was having a giggling fit earlier over Paul Calf keeping responding to biggytitbo's posts in the Brexit thread with "play a record". I didn't even get the reference at first (turns out I don't remember the Ricky Gervais Show very well) and I thought he was doing a play on "change the record" except implying Biggy hadn't even started saying anything meaningful. Was fun anyway.

[BlodwynPig]

BOLLOCKS

Confidence shot by you AGAIN. Not applying.

[ZoyzaSorris]

'Wanking is recreation, a joyous occasion to be shared'. Pjilstart obvs.

[hedgehog90]

^ reads like a translated lyric from a mid 19th century Italian opera.

[hedgehog90]

♫ Masturbarsi è ricreazione, un'occasione gioiosa da condividere ♫

[Johnny Yesno]

'Wanking is recreation, a joyous occasion to be shared'. Pjilstart obvs.

Quote please.

[samadriel]

Quote please.

I've had a spate of these sextortion emails, all titled "your account has been frozen", and it wasn't, which is what tipped me off. The emails came within minutes of each other too, but the second one asked for less money. Not a good threat anyway, wanking over fringe pornography might actually boost my reputation, give me that likeability factor. It worked for Ted Cruz. A lot of things genuinely bring me shame. Last night, 2am and I was drinking discounted stew straight from the tin in bed and it's stuck in the tin so I tip it fully and it avalanches on me, cold squishy pearl barley, bits of onion etc. I fall asleep in it and come morning it has dried and I am glued to the sheets by a dried stew death-mask. Wanking is recreation, a joyous occasion to be shared, and I imagine people would pat my back and go "attaboy" if I wanked for them, especially if I went for technique-oriented trick-shot wanking, as popularised by MTV, I'd draw a crowd, the hero of the piece, but only for wanking.

[Johnny Yesno]

Haha! That's great, thanks.

[madhair60]

Borehamwood Fucking and Suicide Complex

[PlanktonSideburns]

Paintfucker deluxe. Got as far as the word BOLLOCKS printed on the poster and lost it in work canteen6

[Beagle 2]

We got bowls full of bacon fries to try to get more cunts on the piss tonight.

[Isnt Anything]

Borehamwood Fucking and Suicide Complex

i can tell that both you and Shoulders have been to that dismal shithole then.

[Ray Travez]

Lordofthefiles on page 1 of 'I'm thinking of having a wank thread' thread

also made me laugh lately- Biggy (natch), Sherman Krank, Elderly Sumo Prophecy, wooders1978, shiftwork2, Dex Sawash, Duncan Disorderly. A few others...

[madhair60]

This is the reality of the pub, isn't it? Bosto sitting alone in his pants, fucking around with photo mode on Mario Galaxy, stinking.

The addition of ", stinking" still has me giggling.

[canadagoose]

Our PE teacher was an absolute gifford who looked like a faded-ginger Paul Chuckle.

[PlanktonSideburns]

This page, because I misread the above as 'absolute Gufflord'

[Paul Calf]

Yeah - you'll also see 'Fire Door Keep Shut' signs, or perhaps fire doors which are held open with special catches which release so the door closes when the fire alarm goes off. Fire doors are designed to stop fire spreading within buildings, especially into stairways.

The 'Keep Locked' signs are likely on cupboards or plant rooms, which wouldn't help you escape.

They'd help if I wanted to escape a paedophile with a cupboard phobia.

My wife can't understand why I'm helpless with laughter every time I remember this.

[kenneth trousers]

Oh yes, why's that then ?

From the teachers thread.
Genuinely made me lol

[BlodwynPig]

From the teachers thread.
Genuinely made me lol

Shorn of context this is shit unfunny. Please put the context otherwise it's a ninny-post.

[kittens]

I'm far from convinced it did enough to fully justify its existence.

But I'm glad it does exists, if that makes sense.

Those are the exact words which go through my father's head every time he looks at me.

from the thread about tv show maniac

[Kelvin]

Howj Begg's wonderful takedown of the attack on Corbyn for not knowing the difference between branded and non branded beans.

You can imagine an ingenious experimental setup to test the finesse of Corbyn's palette. One day Corbyn's Tesco beans are switched for Heinz beans, with the wraparound labels likewise removed and replaced, to conceal the fourberie. JC blithely cooks the Heinz beans on the stove, suspecting nothing, and then merrily eats them without the slightest suspicion, all the while reading about legislation. Afterwards the naughty prankster says to him, he says, Ey Jeremy, did you like your beans? Yes says Jeremy, same as always. Why? You, er, didn't notice anything different about em? Jeremy thinks for a moment, and notes that the packaging was peeling slightly - must be down to poor workmanship at the factory, no doubt due to underpay. The prankster, stifling a laugh in his hand, goes off to tell the others, who gape at him in astonishment; Jeremy has such a dull palette that he did not recognise the superior taste quality of Heinz beans! The story only grows in the retelling and is soon the talk of the town.

Summing like that I imagine.

[touchingcloth]

My wife can't understand why I'm helpless with laughter every time I remember this.

Some posts you sweat over, and others you say the word "peedo" and the crowds go wild. There's no set recipe.

[madhair60]

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

[Captain Z]

ariana grande is spanish for big spider

[Twed]

[Chollis]

The presenters took them home with then - there was an exercise book in the producers office and they'd sign the Blue Peter tortoise or gerbil out for a week at a time.

And bring them back covered in cum and shit. If they brought them back at all.

[Twed]

[Chollis]

Hah, beat me to it