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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

St_Eddie


paruses

Honestly - if I'm feeling really glum I go and look at those gifs. Possible favourite is the ring-eating one - but only just. Thank you.



AsparagusTrevor


samadriel


Small Man Big Horse

Mr Torso does it again!

Quote from: Gregory Torso on February 14, 2019, 02:48:21 PM
You remember last Monday, right? Well that was actually eleven years ago!!!

monolith

In response to a question about how to make new friends:

Quote from: hedgehog90 on January 31, 2019, 11:26:16 AM
Asking CaB this question is like asking a homeless person how they make so much money.


Ferris

From the weddings thread

Quote from: gilbertharding on February 15, 2019, 10:48:47 AM
My wedding was great. My wife was beautiful, both my parents were there, even though my dad was a pain in the arse. The venue was a medieval farmhouse and there were log fires and loads of flowers. The food was great, and everyone had a great time.

Unfortunately the photos were a bit poor, and the photographer disappeared after sending us the proofs, so any duplicates (for the relatives) had to be scanned using 2005 technology. I also would have liked for more of my friends to be there, but space was limited, and 15 (whatever) years later I don't see or speak to any of them anymore so fuck it.

We asked the band to play Something by the Beatles for our first dance. Unfortunately they misunderstood, and played something by the Beatles: Octopus's Garden.

Morrison Lard

Thanks to imitationleather for reminding me of this absolute gem from non capisco:

Quote from: non capisco on February 26, 2017, 10:12:37 AM
Not a dilemma, more of a mistake. I was at work once on a Monday morning, at the time the only one in the room. I felt a rascal of a fart brewing and as I'd been out on the tiles all weekend I surmised it was going to be a galactic bastard of a stinker. There's a little locked room to my right where we keep all the clients' hard drives and camera equipment as well as blank stock and other sundries. I thought instead of greeting imminent colleagues with a room that stank of shit first thing in the morning I'd just fart into the locked ante-room and hopefully by the time anyone had call to go in there the smell would have dissipated. So that's what I did, opened the door with my swipe card, directed my arse into the ante-room and parped for all I was worth. The crescendo and force alone was enough to convince me I'd done the right thing and as I closed the door behind me, yes, I caught a brief snoutful of something truly unpleasant indeed.

I'm sure you're way ahead of me here, CaB. Almost immediately after I'd sat back down one of the women from finance emerged from the ante-room. Unbeknownst to me they'd been in there doing a stock take. I'd seemingly aggressively farted into a sealed room in a 'cop a load of this, love!' manner and shut the door behind me. Really not the sort of LEGEND GARY thing that's in my nature. I defended myself in the subsequent trial.

Cuellar



Pingers

Can you get much sexy business through the Plymouth Herald comments section?

Replies From View

Quote from: Pingers on February 18, 2019, 10:46:59 PM
Can you get much sexy business through the Plymouth Herald comments section?

Not with their hard border, no.

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on February 19, 2019, 02:57:50 PM
Pick a phoney, bin the rocket,
Net the fruitcake from the man.
But if you wanna restroom and you're gone arsed festoons,
Ben, rudder, I've a flan.

Boss Bear is whore crumbs, fun in your history,
Fuss Dyke, the ranging of your reasons and the guides of a pea.
Gus, she's the nun who's crying in desserts,
So why do only fools and horses work?

Obviously they changed a few of the names after the first pilot. Ben became Rodney, Boss Bear became Uncle Grandad and Gus became Del Boy.

Fuss Dyke and the Sobbing Nun were written out completely before being reintroduced as Raquel and Cassandra in the later series.

Golden E. Pump

Quote from: Pingers on February 18, 2019, 10:46:59 PM
Can you get much sexy business through the Plymouth Herald comments section?

As a Plymouth resident, I can confirm that there is very little sexiness in the Plymouth Herald comments section.

ToneLa

Quote from: Golden E. Pump on February 19, 2019, 04:07:02 PM
As a Plymouth resident, I can confirm that there is very little sexiness in the Plymouth Herald comments section.

No Lonely Hearts section with women seeking men? As if

Jockice


monolith

I can't stop laughing at that Johnny Mercer MP quote.

Nowhere Man

 This post is from a few years ago but I love this one.

Quote from: non capisco on March 03, 2016, 04:47:07 PM
Damon Albarn is skating on fucking thin ice calling a song 'Charmless Man'. It's like Buster Bloodvessel writing a song called 'Look At That Fat Bald Bastard'.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: shiftwork2 on February 20, 2019, 12:01:12 AM
I had a root canal earlier today.  It was more enjoyable than Princess Diana, The Musical.  The pulpectomy, the widening of the canals with a coarse drill, the files clearing out live tissue from within my jawbone.  Walk in the park by comparison mate, with a blissful picnic at the end.  A lovely field by an oak tree, plates in the hamper restrained by those criss-cross straps, sandwiches with the crusts cut off.  Overhead, a swallow titters.  Ahhh

Clownbaby

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 08:54:22 PM
It looks like one of those films that your girlfriend loves and asks that you watch it with her, so you do and because you love her, you vicariously enjoy the film and associate it with herself and you go on to watch it with her on further occasions because it's lovely to snuggle up with her and have a nice cosy night in watching her favourite film but then your girlfriend dumps you and now you realise that she was beyond fucking awful and her taste in films was even worse.




Parklife (Itself)


Bennett Brauer

From a ToneLa tirade

Quote from: ToneLa on February 24, 2019, 10:05:05 PM
a sea of absolute fucking heave-ho twats.

It was 'heave-ho' that set me off.


ToneLa


a duncandisorderly


Neville Chamberlain

Buzby's contribution to the Phwooaar! thread:

QuoteRight bus company and bus type (Eastern National Bristol FLF Lodekka), wrong depot code. The Eastern National Wood Green garage was used to film the series,, and the buses used for filming had WG (Wood Green), BD (Brentwood), BN (Basildon) and SD (Southend) garage plates above their fleet number on the radiator cover. The 'PG' code on the model was for the Eastern National Preservation Group, which isn't an official garage code. Also, Lodekka fleet number 2849 was never used in the show. They crudely pasted over the destination blind for the picture, they could have altered the fleet number and garage code too.

If I had been sold that model and saw the wonky radiator grille I would have taken it back.

Astonishing stuff!

NattyDread 2

From the lovely weather thread.
Quote from: Butchers Blind on February 26, 2019, 09:57:28 AM
We had the Lilt man round yesterday.  Lovely weather.

Superb. I'm having that.

Johnny Yesno

From the new centrist party thread:

Quote from: king_tubby on February 26, 2019, 11:47:14 AM
'Who's struggle is this, Mr Tony Blair?'

'Well, I like to see it as My Struggle OH NO WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN MY WIFE'S GONNA KILL ME'