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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

SteveDave

A beautiful image

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on February 27, 2019, 12:48:04 PM
I have rigged my microwave so that it will run with the door open. I stand on a chair in front of it while it does the other half's cocoa of a night & job done.


ToneLa

I don't mean to be a massive self absorbed cunt but I couldn't sleep for chuckles a full 45 minutes after curling this missive oot

Quote from: ToneLa on February 27, 2019, 01:38:33 AM
Scarlett Johansson trawls through the ashtrays on the outside tables at the Brookhouse pub on Smithdown Road, Liverpool, picking out smokeable stubs of old fags, and finishing the dregs of discarded pints. Bonus - she gobs out a fag end from one downed glass and nestles it between her tits; when it dries out she can light it. She calls such finds 'twofers'. Oh, nice - someone's chewy on the floor! Scarlett'll be having that.

St_Eddie

#1173
It's not bad, I must admit.

B+

kittens

if you nominate your own posts in this thread you should get banned.



St_Eddie

Quote from: kittens on February 27, 2019, 04:34:12 PM
if you nominate your own posts in this thread you should get banned.

Mate.  This is a thread for positivity.  Positivity and shameless narcissism.

Replies From View

Quote from: St_Eddie on February 27, 2019, 05:13:40 PM
Mate.  This is a thread for positivity.  Positivity and shameless narcissism.

So you're saying that if I post mostly photos of my erect penis in this thread I shouldn't be banned for it?

AT LAST SOMEBODY SPEAKING SENSE HERE.

Space ghost


ToneLa

Man, fucking ban me if it's that much of a problem. Been here a month, there's no rules, nothing in the OP... 

St_Eddie

Quote from: Replies From View on February 27, 2019, 05:15:37 PM
So you're saying that if I post mostly photos of my erect penis in this thread I shouldn't be banned for it?

AT LAST SOMEBODY SPEAKING SENSE HERE.

I'm glad that we see eye to jap's eye.

Lost Oliver

Quote from: Replies From View on February 27, 2019, 05:15:37 PM
So you're saying that if I post mostly photos of my erect penis in this thread I shouldn't be banned for it?

AT LAST SOMEBODY SPEAKING SENSE HERE.

It's what we've been asking for, FOR YEARS

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: ToneLa on February 27, 2019, 03:48:29 PM
I don't mean to be a massive self absorbed cunt but I couldn't sleep for chuckles a full 45 minutes after curling this missive oot

Which just goes to show, you shouldn't judge your own work.

JamesTC

Quote from: Replies From View on February 27, 2019, 05:15:37 PM
So you're saying that if I post mostly photos of my erect penis in this thread I shouldn't be banned for it?

If it makes you guffaw out loud, your erect penis is fair game.

St_Eddie

Quote from: JamesTC on February 27, 2019, 07:28:59 PM
If it makes you guffaw out loud, your erect penis is fair game.

Sadly mine barely raises a titter but more often than not, expressions of disgust and as such won't be making an appearance within this thread.


Cold Meat Platter


madhair60

Quote from: Attila on March 01, 2019, 07:49:28 AM
I think I've told this story before: I used to work at the British Museum, and one of my tasks was fitting objects (for storage) in bespoke boxes, nested in archival-grade foam. You more or less traced your object on the foam or whatever, then cut out the shape, and carefully placed the object in its new little house.

They'd recently acquired a silver agnus dei lid; an agnus dei is a medieval whatsit that looks like a lady's compact, but contains leftover wax from a church's Pascal candle instead of Estee Lauder. They were given to pilgrims and a good way to use up wax melted down from those candles. The Museum had a few made of lead, but this was the only silver one. Because it was the lid, it was embossed with a lovely design as well.

I made its little foam nest for it, carefully placed it in the spot, and snapped it in half like a frozen dog.

Ensuing conversation:

Me: You know that unique agnus dei lid thing?

My boss [warily] Yes?

Me: Well, you're in luck, because now you have a pair.

At least I wasn't the colleague who broke one of the Lewis chessmen in front of her boss and the bosses at the museum who were borrowing a set of them.

SteveDave

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 01, 2019, 05:09:54 PM
Blanket dresses like his "dad", but he doesn't really resemble him otherwise.

Sadly one of too few children to emerge from Neverland with nothing of Michael in him.


Dex Sawash


holyzombiejesus

In the Mark Hollis thread over in Oscillations.

Quote from: Norton Canes on February 26, 2019, 11:18:49 AM
I remember being on holiday in France one summer, must have been about 1987. We had a day in Le Havre, and while the rest of the family were doing a museum or whatever I went down to the harbour, strolled around for a bit nosing at the boats then met a girl from Reading also escaping the family and we walked around together talking to each other, she was beautiful. We shared a kebab (this was in the days before the proliferation of kebab shops in the UK) and I found a pretty bracelet on the ground, silver with a decorated black stone, which I spontaneously gave to her as a memento. Later we sat on the end of the jetty as the sun set bathing us both in its warm golden glow. We hugged innocently and as if by divine providence the romantic beauty of the moment was made complete when a nearby fisherman's radio started playing Look Away. I'll never forget that day.

Quote from: Norton Canes on February 26, 2019, 11:50:56 AM
Sorry that was Big Country

St_Eddie

Quote from: Dex Sawash on March 02, 2019, 12:00:28 AM
I laughed out loud at this too

Me three.  That's a belter of a gag from your man biggytitbo, there.

steve98

Quote from: ToneLa on February 27, 2019, 05:59:56 PM
Man, fucking ban me if it's that much of a problem. Been here a month, there's no rules, nothing in the OP...

He's joking.


ToneLa

Quote from: steve98 on March 04, 2019, 08:42:43 AM
He's joking.

And you're days and days late. I can't imagine the 97th Steve would be this tardy with matters already cleared right up

Still. Thanks for the mention in this thread!

marquis_de_sad

Quote from: Prison Biscuits on March 04, 2019, 01:26:01 PM
Seeing Josh Widdicome on TV is like seeing someone's foot - unremarkable, slightly repulsive and only funny if it was stuck up someone's arse

madhair60


Bazooka

QuoteMutya from the Sugarbabes operates a noisy unlubricated lathe in Tilbury, she whispers to God, "Ever since Tim Peake went into Space I've been absolutely furious".

Lovely stuff from rasta-spouse.  Sorry on the Beijing metro got all the quoting system wrong.