The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Ferris]

"Mutya from the Sugarbabes operates a noisy unlubricated lathe in Tilbury, she whispers to God, "Ever since Tim Peake went into Space I've been absolutely furious".

Lovely stuff from rasta-spouse.  Sorry on the Beijing metro got all the quoting system wrong.

I also really laughed at that. Really paints a picture.

[Ferris]

My own post buried in the Partridge thread made me chuckle as I posted it

Richard Herring has let himself go

[Space ghost]

b&

[Ferris]

b&

I know. I'm disgusted with myself and my ongoing search for approval.

It did really make me chuckle though.

[ToneLa]

£5 for a wank pass from April

This is very cunning. Most men are going to be too shy to even approach April, let alone pay her the fiver.

Magnifico

[paruses]

Porn is a massive waste of time, spunk and mind power, I for one am glad it is all being destroyed.

Man's got a point. And made me laugh.

[Chollis]

The porn thread is very good

Once, I bought one at around 7pm at night which was a fools errand. The shop was very busy and someone I knew from school was in the queue behind me. I tried as best as I could to shield the magazine from him but the man behind the counter made a big show of taking it from me. My friend was being an adult and buying wine for him and his fiancee. Still his brother died not long after so...swings and roundabouts.

[pancreas]

Thread: Which two cartoon characters fucking is funniest?

Skeletor and Peppa Pig

Top Cat and Bottom Cat

[Ferris]

The porn thread is very good

It really is.

I used to work in a convenience store when I was 16 and once, when I was out in the back doing a stock take, I simply grabbed one from the pile to be returned, wrapped it around my leg, tucked into the top of my sock like a pervy shin pad, and walked home with it hidden under my trouser leg.

When I got home, I cut the barcode out and, during my next shift, I waited 'til my supervisor was on break, scanned the barcode and paid for the magazine in cash.

It was the most perfectly executed and ethical shoplift ever committed.

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's reminded me of that 'moments that haunt you' thread where someone said they opened a jazz mag in a newsagents and nudged their mate and tilted it to show them, only it wasn't their mate, it was a middle-aged man.

[PlanktonSideburns]

*He's told someone to fuck off! No one tells anyone to fuck off in real life, it's left to Mavericks!

[kalowski]

Made me spit tea all over my pyjamas.

This thread reminds me of the time a friend saw I had a font file called "chubhand.ttf" on my desktop and accused me of having "chubby hand tittyfuck" porn.

[magval]

It's reminded me of that 'moments that haunt you' thread where someone said they opened a jazz mag in a newsagents and nudged their mate and tilted it to show them, only it wasn't their mate, it was a middle-aged man.

Even THIS post has me intermittently chuckling like a kindly auld boy. The idea that the older bloke would think the kid was just innocently and proudly showing him this horrible imagery, the idea that the kid has a Ken Reid drawing for a face, the silent shopkeep silently nodding in approval in the background, my mind just spirals out of control. I love this story. Up there with "get a load of this love" in the all time top CAB posts.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm a bit young for middle-aged, but I if I was the man, I'd have tried my best to look stern and unimpressed but would've been creasing inside.

[Noonling]

On The Witcher 3:

No matter what you choose, it's always undercut by some attempt to guilt trip you or bum you out in some way. Saved the burning orphanage and all the kiddies did you? Well, one kiddie broke his back jumpin out the window and now he's a cabbage.

[Jockice]

It's reminded me of that 'moments that haunt you' thread where someone said they opened a jazz mag in a newsagents and nudged their mate and tilted it to show them, only it wasn't their mate, it was a middle-aged man.

This one. And I see I'm not alone.

[samadriel]

Imagine the noise it makes as it's moving around, as well.



"I'm sorry to inform you that you can only expect to live another three months."

Maybe it's my lack of sleep, but the image of the robot screaming that over its shoulder to the patient as it tumbles down the stairs has me exploding with yuks.

[Twed]

Shit on her little tits.

Absolutely fantastically unacceptable.

[Jockice]

Boggytibo's comment about Jess Phillips in the Corbyn thread. I don't usually like looks-based insults but she really irritates me and she does look exactly as he describes her.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Boggytibo's comment about Jess Phillips in the Corbyn thread. I don't usually like looks-based insults but she really irritates me and she does look exactly as he describes her.

+1

[St_Eddie]

It's already been posted but...

Imagine the noise it makes as it's moving around, as well.



"I'm sorry to inform you that you can only expect to live another three months."

I genuinely laughed like a hyena at that.

[canadagoose]

Are they going to remove his body from that weird disneyland americana mausoleum in Hollywood and chuck it in a skip in the next week or what

[Chollis]

saw the post first and then noticed the avatar, big laugh

[Sebastian Cobb]

He looks like a pissed-up jakey there.

[Morrison Lard]

From the wank pass thread-

I remember Germany made Carmageddon have green blood in it, not sure if they did the same with cum in pornos

[Cuellar]

He's not had much work since Jackass ended, so he might as well.

I loled

[Thursday]

Boggytibo's comment about Jess Phillips in the Corbyn thread. I don't usually like looks-based insults but she really irritates me and she does look exactly as he describes her.

What, where? Please actually quote/link posts you found so funny.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Something about a sanctimonious toad from a children's cartoon. Very accurate.

[Cuellar]

Incredibly problematic. Is this what finally #cancels biggytitbo?

[ZoyzaSorris]

I really like toads (in real life down to earth and very funny, not sanctimonious at all), its unfortunate for them that she looks like one.